When I started this blog because of God's beckoning me to do so...I knew it was going to force me to be more of an open book than I already am. I like to think I am a pretty open person anyway. My thought is, that if God gets the glory for anything I share then its ALL GOOD, and nothing else matters.
Awhile ago a dear friend of mine taught me a song by Kari Jobe. The song is called "The More I Seek You". We were preparing for a prayer conference and to lead praise and worship music at the start of it. One of the songs we did together was this one. I was immediately drawn to the song, and shared so with him. He then told me that it also was a song that struck a chord deeply in his heart. He then shared an intimate story taking him back to when his boys were young and they used to climb on his lap to get some Daddy time. In my heart I began to ache because that was something I always desired with my biological father. It's not that I hadn't ever sat on my fathers lap, but it was the deep father-daughter connection I desired that was lacking with us (due to issues in his own life)...something that has affected my whole life resulting instead in the feelings of rejection and abandonment on certain levels.
After the practice for the conference, that song became ingrained so deeply in my soul that when I went to sleep that night I felt I was still singing it in my spirit...as if I never went gone to sleep, but yet I had. I woke up singing it as well. When the day of the conference came and we sang that particular song, the anointing of the Holy Spirit was so thick on the platform I could barely stand. I will never forget the healing that took place in parts of my life because that very song changed the way I look at my Creator...my Father, my Daddy God. Every time I think of that song and begin to sing it, its difficult not to cry. This is not only a fatherly relationship I had always longed for in my life, it goes far beyond my wildest expectations because it is also the relationship and the intimacy that God the Father desires from us.
Here are the words:
The more I seek you, the more I find you
the more I find you, the more I love you
I want to sit at your feet, drink from the cup in your hand
lay back against you and breathe, feel your heartbeat.
This love is so deep, its more than I can stand
I melt in your peace, its overwhelming
God is calling all of us to this deep intimacy that He so desires with us all. Even though I didn't get that deep intimacy from my biological father that I so desired all these years, I can get so much more from God the Father, that fills every possible void anyone may feel in their lives.
You may be thinking that it is not possible to be intimate with God, but I beg to differ. Whenever I desire to become that intimate with my Heavenly Father I go into my "prayer closet", shut out the world, and shut off all the lights, and climb up into all my pillows, and I go to Him and talk to Him as if I am sitting on His lap. I am not telling Him anything He doesn't already know, but its one thing He desires from all of us. A time set aside just for Him, to worship, to talk, to just be in His presence. So many times I have been guilty of talking about him, or thinking about Him instead of going TO HIM. I pray that this year in 2011 that we will all become more intimate with God. I guarantee it will change your life.
“For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. . . that in the ages to come He might show the exceeding riches of His grace in His kindness toward us in Christ Jesus” (Romans 8:38-39 and Ephesians 2:7).
"But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far off have been brought near by the blood of Christ." (Ephesians 2:13)
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