Going to Prison

     What is the first thing that runs through your mind if someone were to approach you, and ask you about going into a prison voluntarily??  Yes, I said VOLUNTARILY, to spend the day with convicts.
The first image in my head, of course, was what I have seen on television or movies: Shawshank Redemption, The Green Mile, Escape from Alcatraz.  The imagination can certainly run wild can't it??
Especially being a woman going into a mens' prison, it was easy for me to conjure up all kinds of thoughts in my head equalling to= "NO WAY HOSEA!!" 
     For four years I have been approached by a man from our church who is head of a prison ministry.  He has tried repeatedly to convince me to come and be involved along with my husband.  My husband Tim has been a part of this ministry for several years, going on average of 3 times per month, and has not been able to convince me to go and be a part of such an endeavor.  My attitude about this was "This is YOUR calling, not mine, so go right ahead...without me".
     In an earlier post I talked about being delivered, several years ago, from the spirit of fear and how, even though. I was delivered, it doesn't mean I never deal with fearful thoughts.  I still have to hold every thought captive, in an attempt to cast out the fearful ones, as not to get myself in the same boat I was in before. 
Year after year I have been presented with the opportunity of going to the prison, yet I was not able to get past the fear of what I had conjured up in my head. I didn't even want to entertain the idea. 
      Every year, the prison has a celebration for the prisoners and they are each given a tray of Christmas cookies, and can join in the Christmas celebration and service that is put on by various volunteers.  This year was no different.  My ever so faithful friend, Glen, approached me again, as he always does this time of year, and asked me to be a part, but this time, something was different.   I didn't say "yes" right away, but I didn't say "no" either.....I said, "I will get back to you".   I knew in my heart the Lord wanted me to go, but yet, I was still fighting with those thoughts in my head of everything that could go wrong.  Although the Christmas party celebration would be similar as in years past, it was different in the fact that I also had the opportunity to be a part of the worship team that went to do praise and worship music during the service for the prisoners.  Now if you know me personally, you know that singing, being part of the praise and worship team,  and pouring out my heart to God in song is a huge burning desire in my heart.  Its where the Lord has been calling me for years, to sing, to lead, to give everything I am to Him through voice.  There is not one ounce of me that could even begin to deny this call any longer, after I had turned my back on it for so many years.  Because of that burning desire,I admit, having the opportunity to be part of the team doing the praise and worship that I was "hooked".  There was no way, if I could help it, that I was going to miss a chance to let God use me in this way, even if it WAS at the prison.  Did my fear of being at the prison vanish? NO, but somehow being able to be a part of something I so deeply desired, was the spoon full of sugar I needed to swallow those thoughts of fear and flush them right out.  I now know that God used that "God given desire" in my heart as HIS "hook" to get me in that place that I had feared for so many years.  Somehow by Gods grace, I was able to let the guard down that fear had been holding up in my life, in this area.  By doing this I was able to look at God and freely say "Ok, here I am Lord, use me".
     As we arrived that day at the prison and prepared to go through security checks, I remember being nervous, and clinging to my husbands arm.    I remember him giving me the look to let me know it would be fine.     After the security screening when I left with my Worship Team "Brothers" to go and set up equipment, I remember feeling excited and glad that I was with them.  I knew God was going to do something that day....I could feel it in all of us.  After things were set up and we got rolling, I watched 200 prisoners file their way in, get their tray of cookies and have a seat in front of us for the first set.  It was evident to me, that even though some men may not have been overjoyed to be there, they were at least curious as to what they might see. Some of their attitudes were indifferent and some excited.  I remember thinking, in a bit of my nervousness as they stared on, -"ok Lord, its all you, I alone have nothin!" 
 Before I knew it, we had done two sets of about 4 hours total, for 400 men, along with watching the Holy Spirit move through the testimonies of friends Rob and Ron.  From my best recollection, 18 men were saved that day and the Holy Spirit was all over that room - thick!!  I still do not even have the words to explain what happened that day.  I can tell you that personally I went expecting to be used by the Holy Spirit, but I never expected to get majorly blessed in the process.  I can tell you that my life was changed, and my heart was changed in so many different ways.  I experienced love, compassion, healing in my own heart, a confidence of the Lord,  and thankfulness.  A thankfulness of my own, that I had NOT allowed the enemy to win my mind over with fear that kept me from coming in the past.  I watched God work in the lives of some of these men right there, just by seeing the expression change on their faces.  Barriers were over thrown, walls taken down,  forgiveness toward others and themselves. Lives were changed, there is no doubt, and words could not even begin to describe the experience that day.  Although we stood there in a prison, the chains fell off of many that day and many experienced a new sense of freedom, including me.
     This experience has changed my heart so much toward prison ministry that I have found myself wishing I could go with my husband when he goes during the week, along with me already committing to go again next Christmas season.  It just goes to show that God is able to do more that anything we could possibly imagine ever.  He is amazing!!

"Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably MORE than all we ask or imagine, according to HIS power that is at work within us; to HIM be glory....forever and ever! Amen." Eph. 3:20-21