Nostalgia

 
 For the last couple of years I have noticed that I am drawn to things antique and have been feeling nostalgic.  Things that remind me of my childhood and years gone by.  This summer I watched the eyes of my daughter roll back in her head as I suggested we go into some antique shops while on a road trip.  She obliged me anyway, and in we went. This fall it was the same, although my oldest seemed to have a bit more appreciation for my stories and memories.  I loved looking at and being "taken back" to a time with things I hadn't thought of in years.   Its really less about the things and more about the memories that go along with it.  I've slowly watched my girls become more interested as they have heard me speak of and point at different things and say, "Oh I remember that" or "we had that" or "I remember seeing that at my grandmothers house" etc..

 I'm thankful for so much of my childhood as I have many great memories, and some not so great but that's okay too.   I'm mostly that my mom and step-dad specifically saw fit that I knew who Jesus was and who I was in Him.  The importance of having a relationship with Him and sharing His love with others.  The importance of knowing and understanding His promises, and that all my hope is to be in Him and in Him alone.  It has been remembering THAT specifically that has served me well in life.

     Recently I was dealing with some traumatic news I was trying to process concerning the future of my school and job as well as some concerns about my husbands work with word of a possible strike.  I had been truly struggling with deep worry and fear and it was tearing me up, making me almost physically ill.  I had spent several days trying to digest it all on my own, wallowing in my own worry, trying not to burden my family, but yet I was a hot mess. 

A few days later, my best friend called me, and some of the first words out of his mouth, when we actually began talking about it, was "Jen, lets take a look at your life and look at all the places where God has failed you.....oh that's right, there isn't any!"

  After quite a long conversation of me processing, spilling my guts and tears and him reminding me of Gods promises and that I needed to "be still", I had settled down and finally collected myself. Everything He told me, I knew already, but my head was in a place where I needed to be reminded of God's promises and I needed to refocus.   It was over the last several days I began to think more and more about this truth in my life....that God has never failed me.  I have truly walked some extremely difficult roads, but it truly was a fact that my God has walked with me every step of the way and has ALWAYS provided. 

     I've been studying the use of memorial stones in the Bible.  In the book of Joshua chapter 4.  It is one of the climactic events in all of biblical history. The Israelites had waited forty years, but now the time had come. It is a poignant moment as they stride across the riverbed of the Jordan, opened for them by the miraculous power of God. Behind them, they leave the wearying decades of meandering around in a barren wilderness and the tragic memories of countless funerals for an entire generation of people who would not trust God's promises.
A new and welcome chapter opens before them! Before them lay a land richer than their dreams, more fruitful than their hopes, and more beautiful than their imagination. Now it is theirs by God's steadfast promise.  It must have felt surreal to finally stand in Canaan, kind of like when you unlock the door to your first home. You've envisioned it, planned for it, imagined what you will do with it…but when you step in that front door, your emotions soar! To be the fulfillment of an ancient promise to Father Abraham must have been overwhelming.  Their joy had been magnified by recent events. When they arrived at the Jordan, they found it is flood stage, menacing in its speed and dangerous from what it concealed.  The river was impassible, its crossing impossible.
But God intervened. God rolled back the waters of the Jordan River, just as He had done with the Red Sea. God meant what He had said through Moses years before. Here was His signature again, in the same way, to assure His people that He was good to His word. 

     I imagine there were songs and shouts as God's people worshiped and exulted in Him. But there was also one important act that calls for our attention. After Israel crossed, God gave Joshua some very specific instructions, recorded in Joshua 4:1-3: After the entire nation had finished crossing the Jordan, the Lord spoke to Joshua, "Choose 12 men from the people, one man for each tribe, and command them, 'Take 12 stones from this place in the middle of the Jordan where the priests' feet are standing, carry them with you, and set them down at the place where you spend the night.' " Joshua did exactly what he was told, sending these select 12 men back to the riverbed of the Jordan where they were to bring back 12 stones—stones that at one point were buried, unreachable, covered by a challenge to the faith of God's people, but were now divinely accessible.  Twelve men hoisted heavy stones to their shoulders from Jordan's floor and then piled them together in the Promised Land, by God's command. They were stacked there as a sign, an unmistakable marker at the very place where God had demonstrated His power to overcome any obstacle to His will.
Because stones don't naturally stack, there would come a day when Israel's children would ask for an explanation for this phenomenon. Here's the answer God wants the next generation to know: "Tell them the story," says God in v. 7, "of how the waters of the Jordan were cut off in front of the ark of the Lord's covenant. When it crossed the Jordan, the Jordan's waters were cut off."
In verses 23-24, For the Lord your God dried up the waters of the Jordan before you until you had crossed over, just as the Lord your God did to the Red Sea, which He dried up before us until we had crossed over. This is so that all the people of the earth may know that the Lord's hand is mighty, and so that you may always fear the Lord your God."
This is what happens when the impossible meets the promises of God. This is the outcome when the implausible comes up against the glorious riches of God in Christ Jesus.
     As I have remembered my friends words, meant to get my attention to refocus on, not the negative that Satan wanted me to focus on, but on ALL God has done and will do.  To me, this is the best way to be nostalgic.  He simply wanted to remind me that God is TRUE to His promises to His people and to keep my focus on that.  It doesn't mean that life doesn't get hard but His promises are still true. As much as I love looking at antiques that trigger memories of days gone by, this is truly such a remarkable way to remember what GOD has done in my past, where He has carried me.   This reminder has caused me to begin writing down, or "placing" my own memorial stones......of all the times God has been faithful...to focus on THAT, to celebrate THAT, rather than what the enemy wants my focus to be.  
The stones out of the Jordan marked the movements of God among His people. They testified of the willingness of a people to leave what they had known in order to go with God, to face challenges to their faith, to step into the water, to believe in what they could not see.  As we face life's challenges, it can be so easy to lose our focus when we don't know what is ahead. I believe that God allows us  memories and times to be nostalgic to give us moments to smile back at and to be used as strength to move forward. Although I would not want to relive every place that I have walked, I'm thankful for those "memorial stones" in my life that just continue to prove that although life is forever changing, He indeed is the same yesterday, today and forever and His promises are enough, He just wants us to keep our eyes on Him.

*credit: The Lesson of Stones

Pick Up Your Mat!!

     Months ago I had someone speak ill of me and my character as well as the character of a close friend.  Its not like its the first time its happened in my life, but it was someone I had trusted and never expected slander from, especially because of the leadership position they were in, but it happened.  It was words used flippantly and irresponsibly, not even something you joke about. It hurt me and hurt those I am close to.  One may not think that 5 little words about someone could have an affect but it did.  Sin does that.  We may think..."oh, I was just kidding" or "its just a small lie or embellishment", but a sin is a sin is a sin.  Some how, some where it has consequence. Even though its been many months later and I have forgiven for my own sake and my family and I have moved forward from it, but it has taken time and dealing with my own emotions of hurt and anger.   It is still having an impact on people I hadn't realized were affected who love me and are part of my "family" who are still dealing with anger over it.    Its the ripple affect of sin...doing exactly what Satan intended.  It is indeed Satan who comes to steal, kill and destroy (John 10:10) for the good that God is doing.  He will do anything to try and cease the work of the Father.  The enemy will do whatever he can to steal our joy at whatever moment he can....IF WE ALLOW HIM TO.  Its so easy to fall into that trap of letting the enemy steal our joy, Ive been guilty of it many times.
As I was talking with a friend last night about something they were walking through that started with sin on the part of another person and inevitably, it had stolen their joy, and left a big ole gaping hole.  They admitted that they were even a bit angry with God over the impact.  I am not for one second going to tell you that when someone sins against you that you aren't allowed to feel what you feel.  God gives us emotions as tools to help us maneuver through life and its challenges and sometimes we just feel what we feel when we are walking it out.  What I am going to say is that it is up to us how we allow those emotions to control us.  Go ahead and feel your emotion, but don't build a house there.  It seems way easier to say than to do, but it is a choice.  It's important to also pinpoint exactly where the emotions should be targeted.  So often its easy to blame God, but he is not the one seeking whom He may devour, that is the enemy. 1 Peter 5:8 Also I think the enemy gets blamed a lot for mans stupid choices.  The enemy may taunt or tempt people to do the wrong thing, but we do get a choice on whether or not we actually act upon it.  
So how long do we let the emotions fester?  Its hard to say, every person is different on how they deal with the load they carry.  Two things, however, come to mind in that statement.  First, we are not supposed to carry loads, we are supposed to cast our cares. (1 Peter 5:7)  Second, if its "festering", you need a physician.  I can think of no better Physician than the Great Physician, God Himself.
     When I was speaking to my friend and they were sharing their heart with me and I reminded them of all I have said above, I heard God then say to me in my Spirit "Pick up your mat and walk!", so out of my mouth came those words to my friend.  They became silent and reflective.  Finally they said with a smile and a chuckle "Yes Ma'am".
In John 5:1-18 and the story of the healing at the pool, Jesus asked the man who was invalid... "Do you want to get well?"  The man then responded with reasons he couldn't get well....because of what others were keeping him from doing (getting into the pool or not helping him).  Jesus then said "Pick up your mat and walk!"  Now the man could have chosen to stay on his mat and focus on the fact that he was invalid, or that nobody would help him or that they were getting in his way....OR he could decide to pick up his mat and walk.  I am happy he chose to get up.
Sometimes it takes someone in our lives to tell us to get over ourselves, suck it up, or call us out.  Sometimes we finally just get sick of sitting on out mats.  The beauty is that you get to decide and choose for yourself. Let God deal with the other persons sin.  I pray this day that you will have had enough of allowing your joy to be stolen by all the time you have given to sitting on your mat, even if it was someone else who put you there.  I pray that you will be moved to call the enemy out and let him know that he will no longer steal from you and that you are now PICKING UP YOUR MAT AND WALKING BY FAITH, FOR SUCH A TIME AS THIS.  Now GET UP AND WALK!

Deep Waters

     Yesterday afternoon, I had the pleasure of getting to go to the Dunes with my best friend, and a collective group of each of our own kids and friends etc..  Part of the fun of the dunes is going up the sand dunes, heading to the clay pits/ shoots and getting dirty, and walking through the muddy river/ creek to get back to the beach.  My youngest daughter is not a fan of getting dirty or muddy, and doesn't like bugs.  I had purposely not shared ALL the details of our fun adventure to come because I didn't want her to freak out.  She did great getting up the dunes and was fine until we got to the part where we headed into the water following the creek through the mud and muck.  She immediately hesitated and I assured her that she would be fine and that I would hold her hand all the way through if necessary.  I told her to trust me and she continued.  The water was cold and mucky and you sometimes had to climb over fallen tree limbs to get to where you were going.  There were bugs and probably other living things around that we were glad didn't make an appearance.  The water started out ankle deep, would get to waste deep at times and then back to knee deep.  You had to feel your way through the water with your feet because you didn't know what you were going to come upon you couldn't see, and have to climb your way over because the water was far from clear.  Much of the way she walked without assistance but needed reassurance that she would be fine.  There, however, was a part that the water dropped off and we had to climb over huge tree limbs and the water was close to being over her head.  I climbed over and stepped in first and she panicked when she saw me go into neck deep water.  I immediately turned around and held out my arms to her.  She put her arms around my neck, climbed on my back and held on.  When this first happen she was panicked, but again I assured her that I had her and would be with her through the deep water and would not let her go.  She held on tight and I moved forward through it without hesitation.  She soon realized that I truly had her and was not going to let her go, just as I had promised her.  It was literally in the midst of that, the Lord spoke to me in my spirit.  He said, "Just like I'm with you Jen", and I just smiled to myself and said "Thank you Lord".
  See, it had been a rough week as my summer comes to a close and I am also preparing to head back into teaching and coaching.  I  had been feeling very overwhelmed with the amount of all my duties, responsibilities, and training that had been going on.  Even at night my mind would not shut off to all I needed to accomplish.  I truly felt like I was starting on the journey of walking through water that was not clear and  of different depths, and feeling my way with my feet because I don't know what lies ahead, I just know I need to keep trudging through, moving forward, and trusting God.  At that moment, as I carried my own child, God used a visual, as He often does with me, to remind me of His promises to us.  He was reminding me that He is right there with us. 

Isaiah 43:2 says "When you go through deep waters, I will be with you...".

For many years, as I have walked through this journey of life, this has been one of my favorite verses.  He has proven just that to me over and over as I have walked through various depths of water, not sure if I would make it out, but He was always right there with His hand held out to me, and at times literally carried me.  I think sometimes in the depths of our panic, we forget this and we lose focus, but He is right there with us always, and reaching out for us to grab a hold when things feel deep and overwhelming. 
I pray that this is a blessed reminder to you as it has been to me, and brings peace to your heart this day.

To Be Understood

     As I sat in my car today laughing with my daughters about something as trivial as talking in funny accents like characters we have heard, and discussing bodily functions.... I just smiled.  I said to them..."This is normal right?  All families laugh and do silly stuff like we do right?!"  My oldest daughter assured me that we were indeed "different, and not the norm", but that they love every second of being different.  I personally don't know that we are much different than many families out there, but we definitely let it "all hang out" when we are together...we are just us, take it or leave it.  Over time I have learned that you will always be "too much" for some and "not enough" for others, and none of it really is your problem.  Life is short - so live it fully.  The whole conversation made me think of whom we act "ourselves" in front of mostly and that is those who seem to understand us - REALLY understand us, and we let our guard down.
AHHHHH! to be understood, such a refreshing concept.  EVERY PERSON on this planet desires to be understood.  Every time we attempt to communicate with others in some way, the desire is to be understood.  There is a quote I really like:
"There is nothing more intimate in life than simply being understood and understanding someone else". 
It is truly every one's deepest desire isn't it, even if we haven't always been the best at communicating it. 
     I think my favorite way to be "understood" is when I am in my mischief and shenanigan mode. I look over to my husband or at my best friends right before I am about to do or say something mischievous. I don't need to say a word to them....they just know I am about to do or say something simply by a look on my face and they know they can either join me or not.  Its because they truly know and understand me.
Recently I explained this "phenomenon" to someone who witnessed a non-verbal interaction in a crowded room between my best friend, who was standing across the room, and myself...we were clearly up to "no-good" and it was evident some type of mischief was about to go down (all in good fun of course)...all conversation done with a simple glance - ha ha! 
The other day I was with another of my best friends.  She could sense that I was upset about something and she simply looked me in the eye and said "Jen, I've got you, I know your heart, don't EVER doubt that" and as soon as she said that, the tears flowed.  I knew what she had said already to be true, but HEARING her say it was a confirmation that I needed at that vary moment.
I have tons stories just like these I could share.
     When we feel understood by others, who truly know your heart to the depths of your soul, we feel more free to just be, to let it all hang out.  Its true that there may be times that we just don't care what people think, but I believe it to be true that we have a chosen few in our lives that we DO actually care what they think...its the people of your circle, your tribe, your squad...whatever you might call them. Its those who know and understand your heart at its deepest depths that allows and encourages us to grow to our fullest potential that God intends.
My closest dearest friends and family, those that know my heart  fully, who understand me and love me in all kinds of weather...my tribe...my squad.... still don't know my heart like its Maker.  Its not for lack of trying, but if you want to be understood, there is no better One to go to than that of God himself. As much as I know and love my best friends and family and I can see or sometimes God allows me to sense the hurt in them before I see them.....He still created their hearts...... it's He who understands every nook and cranny of the heart. 
Maybe you are feeling like you don't have anyone, or that nobody understands you and you feel alone.....still know this....NOTHING is hidden from Him, and He is not surprised by ANYTHING.
I find great relief and peace in that, because by Him understanding you, He also knows your every need,  every desire, your every tear, every fear,  as well as your every joy...etc........EVERYTHING.
Hebrews 4:13
Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account.



Psalm 139:23
Search me, God, and know my heart;    test me and know my anxious thoughts

Whether in joy, mischief, or sorrow, the people closest to our heart may understand us, or we may understand them, and its good
for us to feel with other people in their life's situation. It's good for us to empathize with someone else in their pain. But we must remember that we mere human beings can only do that partially and imperfectly. Not so with God! Our God empathizes with us completely and perfectly. In all areas of life and in all situations of death, our Jesus faced them for us and gives us strength to face them with Him. Through Jesus our God says to us, "I know how you feel, I understand you"

Live Without Regret

     At 4:45 am this morning I was awoken with a friend on my mind.  Someone who is part of my heart with a, what I call, "grief anniversary" coming up tomorrow.  Its the anniversary of when they lost someone who was truly a part of their heart to death.  First, I was shocked that I would remember such a specific date, but then again it was also a shock to wake up and immediately think about it at 4:45 am, but that is God.  I've walked through plenty of significant and  types of loss in my life in various ways and I have seemed to remember dates of normal and wildly ridiculous things at times, but my heart is for people and God wired me this way.  Loss hurts...I don't care what kind of loss, or who you are....it's devastating.  After I finished praying about the above mentioned person who is remembering their own loss, I began thinking about how loss, different kinds of loss, changes people. 
When I look at my own life I've gone through seasons after loss.  I went through a season of tremendous fear.  A season so devastatingly fearful, that had not God intervened I may have had more loss to my life.  Not loss to death, but loss to relationships of various kinds.  Fear is something that can debilitate you if you don't get a hold of it.  I was afraid to lose people close to me again so I became controlling and afraid to try things.  It had a ripple effect on my family that can only add to the damage of loss itself.  I've since been delivered after strong Godly counsel, but once in awhile that same fear of the past will try and grip me with various things.  I'm a detailed planner.  Some of that comes from thinking things through out of protection at a normal motherly level and then a whole other element is in place due to the pain of loss that is added to that planning.  I'm always thinking about "what could go wrong?"  We have to learn to live our lives using full wisdom in decisions AND using our faith in God and His promises.  Fear tends to wipe all that out, trusting nobody but your own instincts, plans, motives etc... and that gets exhausting and its NOT living in the FREEDOM God intended, instead its a prison of your own making.  Living like that, with lack of trust, not only tends to push others away, either from their doing, or from a standpoint from our own doing because we fear of being hurt again.   We need to live life trusting His plan for our lives and following His direction, even when we don't understand - He still has us in the palm of His hand.   I've been blessed with Godly mentors that have shown me this and continue to remind me of this along the way.  Its a day to day battle of holding thoughts captive and determining their origin.  Fearful thoughts are not of God. (2 Timothy 1:7)
    I'm now in a season of gratitude - PRAISE THE LORD!!. 
I recognize what it is to have lost and all the things I wished I would have done, said etc....things I wished I could have done differently, but didn't.  Loss has filled me with a sense of embracing each moment and each person present in our lives.  To love so fiercely that to the normal naked eye...you seem like a weirdo.  I'm OK with that. 
   When my birthday was approaching my oldest daughter asked me what I wanted for my birthday and I told her that I didn't need anything, that I really had not given any thought about my birthday.  She commented to me about how sad she thought that was.  I told her that it wasn't sad at all because I am perfectly content with all that I have.  I feel incredibly blessed with all God has given me and the family and friends that I have.  I told her the best gift is when I get to hang out with those closest to my heart and simply enjoy having them in my life.  Its not the "things" to me that are valuable its the intangibles that are priceless to me - things that can't be bought or forced.
     As I lay in bed last night, knowing that I am having some of those closest to my heart over to be together today in my home, tears began to leak from my eyes - the happy kind.  I'm so incredibly thankful for them.  I began to thank God for each one of their presence in my life. They are family to me.  For their gifts of friendship that have consisted of love, loyalty and trust not only to me but to my family.  I'm thankful for each minute with them and I don't take it for granted.  Of the group, I am the "picture taker"...and I often get teased about it and its OK with me.  I purposefully capture times, even times that seems insignificant, on film because I am so incredibly thankful that I want to have those memories of those I love.  I'm just so thankful for those God has given me, and I don't want to miss a moment. 
I often hear people, after a loss, say..."don't take moments or anyone for granted."  I never REALLY understood that until it was me who had actually walked through it.  I don't think that a true level of full understanding is there until you can grasp the impact that loss can have, and then, even in some aspects, it may be too late.  After loss, regardless of the kind loss, you actually still get to choose how to live out the rest of your life.  You can't change what has happened in the past, but you get to choose moment by moment how you treat those who cross your path. Why wait until loss occurs?
I remember telling my best friend in a conversation one time;  "I never want to have regrets",  "I never want to look at my life ever again and wish I would have done or said more, so I do it now".  "I never want anyone to look at my life and wonder how I felt about them".
   I just want to encourage you to BE THE CHANGE.  Don't wait until its too late - decide to sit down and look at your life, even if for just that moment, and be thankful for what and who you have.  Tell people you love that you love them, and tell them why.  Hug people. Thank people. Smile at people.  Sure, some people wont get it and will talk about you, and that is OK but do it anyway.  Tell the truth and be transparent.  Live your life in such a way that people, even those who may not know you well, will associate you with His Love.  Not because you ran around shouting it, but because you simply walked your life transparently showing it.  Believe it or not, whether loss in your life has  even happened - you get a choice daily, as long as you are still breathing, on how you live it.  Be blessed.

Amazing Dad's - Happy Fathers Day!!!

     A topic I am thrilled to write about in my life is Fathers.  At one time in my life, long ago, I am not so sure I could have done such a thing.  I had struggled with feeling slightly rejected from my own father, and never felt like I was good enough, but as an adult I recognize truly, that this was really not the case at all.  My father, who didn't actually reject me,  struggled with his own personal battles.  He loved me, with all his heart, the very best way he knew how.  I see that so much more clearly as an adult.  I am thankful to my own mother as I was growing up, I NEVER heard her say ONE harsh word about my biological father - NOT ONE.  In her wisdom she knew it would not do any good, but instead she was positive, supportive and encouraging to the best of her ability. 
 I too was also blessed with an amazing step-father who loves me as his own.  Who has spent beyond his share of money, time,  blood, sweat, and tears on me over the years trying to get my butt on the right path, whom I know, because of his deep love for me, would do it all over again in a heart beat.
 My husband, who when we married, became an instant father to my then five year old. He was in her life as a father figure from the time she turned two, and truly is the only father she remembers as her own loving father passed away when she was a tiny baby.  God has surely blessed me in this area of fathers.  This is not a statement I could have made earlier in my life, but I see clearly now that its so true....and it really doesn't stop there.  This is what amazing fathers do. 
     I feel that fathers get the short end of the stick so often and it stirs something up in me that is not pretty when I see this happen.  I am fully aware, as a mother myself, that we as mothers are the ones who carry the child for 9 months or longer because God created us with such a blessing, but this did not happen because of our own doing.  We as mothers have an amazing sense and connection to our children because of this bond.  I would not think to change that for anything as its a blessing from God.  We may THINK they are truly OUR children, but we are only HALF of that equation.  Dads truly are more than just sperm donors or child support check writers.  I can hear some of you ladies out there grunting...calm yourself and breathe.  I truly understand that there are the few who have dropped the ball of responsibility and are not "present" due to whatever circumstances.  Though the same grunting could be said about some mothers out there, as well as the mothers who speak poorly about the fathers to their children, or who keep their children from their fathers using them as pawns simply for their own self-centeredness. This, however, is not the focus of my writing.  Regardless of whatever your experience,  Dads are a true gift from God and there is a reason God has placed on them such a responsibility...its not for nought.  Their roles and the effect of them on our lives should be celebrated.  All kids need their fathers, no different than we need our heavenly Father.
    I remember when my daughter was a tiny toddler.  It, at that point was just she and I for awhile since her father, my husband, had passed away when she was just 8 months old.  I remember when I started dating my husband now and then allowed my daughter and he to finally begin to bond.  I remember watching her blossom like a flower that had not had adequate sunlight or watering now begin to bloom, thrive and grow in a way that was mind blowing.  I was not aware she was lacking ANYTHING as I was fully taking care of her and loving her to the best of my ability, but now....NOW there was a man in her life.  Not just any man, but a STRONG Godly man.  It wasn't that I had done anything wrong in my raising of her, but this man who she now knows, and has known for nearly 16 years, was the father figure her heart dearly needed.  She has amazing grandfathers, but she needed the touch that only a father could give. 
Ladies, sometimes I think we truly need to get over ourselves in the thinking that because WE gave birth to them, and WE went through the physical labor and pain, and WE nursed them, wipe their butts, give medicine, and wipe their snotty noses more than Dads' do, that we are MORE valuable than they....this is just simply not the case.  ITS NOT A COMPETITION, nor was it ever intended to be.  Its a partnership whether you are "together" or not...each one truly has a purpose that God created.  Lets take a look at some great examples.  Although none of these men were perfect and made mistakes in their lives....they were still great fathers:

     Noah is an excellent father described in the Bible. He is famous for building an ark and believing in God when everyone around him called him crazy.
Noah didn't care that the world was against him. He had faith. He believed in God's word and he raised his children to believe the same.
When God's warning of a flood proved true, Noah saved his children from certain death and can be seen as the father of the new world, which flourished because he put in the work to build the ark and house two of each animal.
Today, fathers resemble Noah when they refuse to let what other people say bother them. True fathers love their children in whatever ways they know to love and they go above and beyond to protect their sons and daughters from anything threatening to harm them.

     Abraham was constantly challenged by God and he constantly met those challenges head-on. When he and his wife Sarai were unable to conceive, God blessed the couple with their son Isaac.
God challenged Abraham again by ordering Isaac be sacrificed. Though Abraham's heart was broken, he knew to trust in the Lord and at the last moment his hand was stilled by God and Isaac's life was spared.
Abraham's difficult life is a reflection of difficult lives still lived today.
Many modern fathers meet several challenges and learn, through experience, how to trust God. Once that trust is developed, fathers pass that unyielding faith and trust to their children, who grow to love God as well.

     Moses is famous of hearing and obeying the Word of God. He did several amazing things, including free the Hebrews from slavery in Egypt and returning from Mount Sinai with the Ten Commandments we all continue to live by today. 
Moses serves as an example of overcoming obstacles that seem impossible to conquer. Today, fathers must overcome several difficulties to help their children and serve as a reliable messengers of God's Word for their children.
Fathers everywhere can turn to Moses for encouragement and faith.

     King David's story, much like Moses', begins in childhood. Much like Moses, David encountered a series of trials and overcame each with the help of God.
Neither David nor the other fathers of the Bible were perfect but each asked forgiveness for their sins and lived on to spread God's Glory.
With God by his side, David defeated the giant Goliath, he survived slavery and near-death experiences and eventually grew to become one of Israel's greatest kings.
King David is an amazing example of a father figure who understands what it means to live through difficult times - as well as how to conquer them. Many fathers today would do well to learn from his examples.

     Though Jesus takes center stage, it is important to remember Joseph, Jesus' earthly father, was partially responsible for raising the Christ child.
Joseph ensured Jesus received an education in carpentry, ate well, was not in danger and grew to love God, the Father.
Joseph was a righteous man and was chosen to help care for Jesus as an earthly guardian.
Without Joseph's care, Jesus may not have grown in a loving home and wanting for nothing.
Joseph is a wonderful father figure for Jesus and the several children he later fathered. Each was a follower of Christ and refused to allow his wife to be humiliated or disgraced.
Today, fathers can learn to be compassionate, loving and righteous.

The one thing each of these Biblical fathers have in common is their faith in God. Each of these men believed God would bless them and turned to God in times of tribulation. Modern fathers would do well to learn to do the same to then turn and teach their children to trust in God as well. 

     As I think personally of each on of these men of the Bible, I can easily look into my own life and see Godly men who are fathers, who are JUST LIKE THEM.  Not perfect, but hearts running fast after Jesus.  These men,  have not only impacted their own children with their passionate fire for God, but they have affected mine in a way that allows me to blossom much like the description I gave earlier of my own daughter.  I am so incredibly thankful for the role of Dads, and those who continuously work hard to learn to be the best they can.

If you have a man in your life who is a father, stop looking for all you think might be wrong with them, but encourage, support and build them up, and ALLOW them to be the father they were created to be, and by all means CELEBRATE them. 
Happy Fathers Day to all those amazing Dads out there and thank you for all that you do!!

What About Boundaries

     I've been thinking this week a lot about boundaries.  Years ago we once had a neighbor who had a dog who used to constantly come in our yard and wreak havoc.  Don't get me wrong, I love dogs, all kinds of dogs, big or small, short or tall, etc.... but when your dog comes in my yard, gets my dog upset, and or damages our property, or keeps us awake barking through the night, I have a problem.  When this happened, my husband and I were very patient  when we spoke with our neighbor. We took the dog home various times until it became clear that our neighbor wasn't "getting it" and didn't seem to care what we thought anymore.  When damage occurred on our property from the dog (me getting it on video) and then our neighbor became angry that we were upset about it and threatened us. This is when we began to lose patience.  At this point we were left with no choice but to call the police when the dog would come into the yard.  Eventually, through a series of situations way beyond us, our neighbor is now not allowed to have any animals.  This was not something we caused for our neighbor, this is something that our neighbor, through a series of actions and lacking to take responsibility as well as honor boundaries, brought upon herself.  I remember how angry I was in the first place, that our neighbor was upset at us for calling the police after we had been so kind and asked repeatedly.  They did not understand that boundaries matter and that when boundaries are violated repeatedly, there are consequences for those actions. 
Whether we are talking dogs, property or people, boundaries matter considerably and we should honor and pay attention to them out of pure respect.  When that doesn't happen, consequences arise.

     The concept of boundaries is rooted in the nature of God Himself.  God defines Himself as a distinct, separate being, and He is responsible for Himself. He defines and takes responsibility for His personality by telling us what He thinks, feels, plans, allows, will not allow, likes, and dislikes.

He defines Himself as separate from His creation and from us. He says, I am who I am and there is no other God but me. He says he is love and he is not darkness.

God limits what He will allow in His yard. He confronts sin and allows consequences for behavior. He guards His house and will not allow evil things to go on there. He invites people in who will love Him, and He lets His love flow out to them at the same time. His gates open and close appropriately.

God made us in His image and likeness. We are also to take personal responsibility.

There is a reason that property lines are set up, so that it distinguishes a line between what is yours and theirs. Skin is a great boundary line because it separates us from what is yours and mine.  This is why those who have been sexually abused sometimes get boundaries confused, because they were taught early on that their property did not begin with their skin and as a result MAY struggle with defending their boundaries later. 

"No", is the most basic boundary setting word.  The Bible is very clear on this.

Mathew 5:7  "Let your yes be yes and your no be no."  Sometimes if we don't say no quick enough or we are not direct enough, we open the floodgates and then our boundary lines are blurry and confuse others.

The Bible says we are to confront people we love saying, “No, that behavior is not okay. I will not participate in that.” The word NO is also important in setting limits on abuse. Many passages of Scripture urge us to say no to others’ sinful treatment of us. Matt. 18:15-20 tells you what to do when someone sins against you—how to confront them.

The inability to say no to the bad is pervasive. Not only does it keep us from refusing evil in our lives, it often keeps us from RECOGNIZING evil. We can have broken spiritual and emotional “radar.” No ability to guard our hearts.

Matthew 18:15-20

“If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over.  But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.  If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector.

“Truly I tell you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.
 “Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.”

The Bible urges us to separate from those who continue to hurt us and to create a safe place for ourselves. Removing yourself from the situation will also cause the one who is left behind to experience a loss of fellowship that may lead to changed behavior. (Matthew 18:17-18)

Not sure if your boundaries have been crossed?  Pay attention to your feelings.  Whatever you are feeling, feelings are like the light on a car’s dashboard: they tell us that something needs attention. Anger is a hot feeling that says, “My boundary has been violated.” Don't ignore it or be made to feel guilty, especially by the very person who has crossed your boundary line.
After you have confronted the violator and they continue be controlling, here are some things to consider.

They have a problem hearing and accepting others’ boundaries. "No" is simply a challenge to change the other person’s mind. Controllers can’t respect others’ limits. They resist taking responsibility for their own lives, so they need to control others.

They tend to project responsibility for their lives onto others. They use various means of control to motivate others to carry the load intended by God to be theirs alone.  Manipulative controllers try to persuade people out of their boundaries and by doing so take away your choices. They talk others into yes. They indirectly manipulate circumstances to get their way and force things to happen. They seduce others into carrying their burdens. They use guilt messages, and will do and say things to try to gain your friendship.  Any friendship/ relationship that has to be forced will eventually fall.

Sometimes when people have had enough of the boundary breaking violator or  those who aren't getting it, the hard truth is that they may not talk to you anymore, or they will leave the relationship/ friendship. This is a true risk and the consequences for not honoring boundaries. God does this every day. He says He will only do things the right way and that He will not participate in evil. And when people choose their own ways, He lets them go. Sometimes we have to do the same only loving people from a distance. 

When we begin to set boundaries with people we care about, a really hard thing happens: they hurt. They may feel a hole where you used to plug up their aloneness, their disorganization, or their financial irresponsibility. Whatever it is, they will feel a loss.

If you love them, this will be hard to watch, remember that your boundaries are both NECESSARY for you and HELPFUL for them. If you have been enabling them to be irresponsible, your limit-setting may nudge them toward responsibility. 

Persistence

     Over the years I have watched my husband come upon various tasks in our house or with our vehicles that were broken or needed fixing etc... and although he may not have known how to fix it at the moment, he taught himself how and through trial and error and constantly learning was eventually successful.  He has taught me so much about persistence. Persistence is defined as "firm or obstinate continuance in a course of action in spite of difficulty or opposition." and this word has been floating around in my spirit all day.  

I remember early on in our marriage and things began to get challenging as we had both brought things into the marriage that we did not realize until we were married. He brought his own battles, but for me the struggle was with abandonment issues, and major  fear from being widowed earlier in life, caused me to be controlling and did not mesh well with a man who truly was trying to be the head of household God calls men to be.    We had to work it out in marriage counseling over the course of a few months.  The first time we went, things did not get fixed...it took persistence.  I remember the first time we went did not go well, it actually was pretty ugly, but God had His hand on us.  We, even though I am uncertain how much hope we had to work things out, we continued to be persistent and continued to go.  Each time we went each week, things slowly began to get clearer.  We slowly began to not only look at our own lives and things we needed to correct clearly, but we began to see each other through the eyes of Christ.  We learned much about ourselves and each other and had better tools to maneuver through the challenges of marriage.  Marriage is a huge blessing, as are any relationships God bring together, but they take work, they take persistence.  

When I think of my very closest friendships and my small circle of my best friends, I think of how easily those friendships came about, we just meshed like puzzle pieces only God could put together.  We have  many things and personality traits in common and seem to have the same blood pumping through our veins which could only be of God.  I don't always get to see these people daily, but I know that at any second of any hour, if I need them, they will be there without hesitation.  These friendship consist of  a deep loyalty, trust, and honesty.  It has not always been easy - let me explain.  When you are in such a relationship, committed as true friends, there are times where you have to speak hard truths because that is what real friendship is made of.  Although being friends is easy, it take persistence to have built such a trust in both good and bad times.  Persistence of loyalty and love in being there not just when the weather is fair, but when it is turbulent too. Persistence

    God calls us to be persistent in soooo much.  Think about it.  We are to run with perseverance the race marked out for us.  The definition of perseverance is: "steadfastness in doing something despite difficulty or delay in achieving success." which basically is identical to the definition of the word persistence.  

This means even in the way we love others.  Even those people who continue to be hurtful, self righteous, arrogant, jealous and flat out mean.....even those people, the ones who aren't so easy to love.  He calls us to be persistent in prayer, persistent in service, persistent no matter how difficult things get or how much people hurt our hearts or those we love...we still need to be persistent even in forgiveness. Ouch. 

    Because of my husbands persistence, I have watched him for years fix things on our cars and save us thousands of dollars. I have watched him refinish our entire basement after a flood we had years ago, and now I'm watching him work hard on fixing one room at a time upstairs to update the house, again saving us thousands.  

I thank God mostly that both he and I were persistent in the fight for our marriage early on so that we knew how to, not only love each other better, but be honest with ourselves about our stuggles.  Being persistent isn't always easy, actually it can be super hard, but we are called to do it regardless.  We are to be persistent in being persistent. ;)  

Galatians 6:9 

And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.

Philippians 3:14 I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.

1 Thessalonians 5:17  

Pray without ceasing,

1 Corinthians 15:58 

Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain.

I thank God that He is persistent with us.  He never gives up on us despite how difficult or stupid we may get or how far away we may get from Him, He continues to pursue us persistently.  

He is also aware of our struggles, our heartbreaks and every tear we have shed that might make us want to quit and give up.  DON'T!  He knows your hurts and your pains, yet He is continuing to remind you to press on and press through the difficulties.  

Let me encourage you today to battle on and continue to be persistent in your walk in all He has called you to do.   To move forward and not shut down, especially when you feel like it, and to continue to love others the way He continues His love for us -  Persistently

SHHHHHHHHHH!

     This weekend I took time away from the craziness which is my life.  Every direction I look there seems to be something going on.  As a teacher my school year is ending as I try to wrap things up, I am having to switch rooms for next year so everything has to be packed up and moved, my house is in renovation so it seems that everything is in disarray, my daughter is getting ready to enter her senior year of high school, so much scheduling for things that go along with that as well as having her wisdom teeth out, traveling to look at colleges, her needing a car, etc... and that is just one of my  kids....... I am also a head volleyball coach and our unofficial season begins this week....along with other countless things running through my head or things needing to be done.  Overwhelmed has been an understatement, but I have learned to make myself just STOP and examine my thoughts to hold them captive and determine their origin before I act.  It doesn't always work but never the less I have gotten better at it little by little.
I decided I just needed a weekend to chill and step away from it all and just be quiet.  Some may call it running, I just call it stepping away from the noise.
During our time away, there were a few times that I looked at my kids who were getting loud and just simply said "shhhhhhhhhh".  I jokingly said that there was a "noise ordinance this weekend" and we all just laughed.  They know my life and they understood the need for the weekend away with my family.  We spent much time sitting by the lake in the sun and just taking it all in listening to nature, the sound of the waves, the birds, the frogs....just being still with Gods creation, something we all needed.
  I was reminded of the story in Mark 4:39 where Jesus was on the boat with the disciples when the storm began.  The disciples were afraid and woke Jesus from his sleep.  He rebuked the winds and said to the sea "peace be still" and the winds ceased and there was a great calm.
As I thought of this, God showed me that Jesus arose and said "Peace be still" over the storm and over the storms that may be raging in our lives.  Upon the start of my weekend the weariness was upon me until I decided to sit in the stillness and soak in the peace and the weariness was washed away.  Sometimes we need to just "SHHHHHHHHHHH!"   Last summer I bought myself and my best friend and each my family a Mud Love bracelet that says "Be Still".  It was a reminder to myself and to each of them that sometimes at times we just need to STOP and Be Still, just like Jesus said to the storm.  The word peace actually means silence, a hush, a stillness or inability to speak or muteness.
When we get quiet in faith, we allow God the ability to reduce all things causing a heaviness or weariness to be silent.  They no longer have the power to speak into our lives and that is such a powerful thing.
He not only did that for me, but will do it for anyone who is willing to receive it.  He is trying to remind us that he is here to speak to the storms of our lives, the things that are causing us to feel weary, things that are trying to steal our peace.  He is speaking to the storms of our lives and commanding peace, to be silent and to cease working in your life.  He is speaking into your life and commanding a great calm to be present.  Nothing is impossible with Him, so don't jump ship.  
I know that there are times in our lives that the storms seem to speak louder than the Word of God that He has placed in our hearts.  There are times when lack speaks loudly, when pain seems to speak louder than God's Word.  Times when situations are yelling at us and telling us we are going to fail or that we are not going to make it, BUT GOD has says "SHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" He is commanding peace amid the storm.  Whenever He does that, the storm WILL cease.
   I don't know what storm is raging in your life, but I do know without a doubt that the Lord is present to calm the storm if you will receive it.  I pray that every storm in your life is silenced and that you experience a great calm.  We have to be willing to SHHHHHH so that we can hear and know that God will command those storms to also SHHHHHHHH!  Peace Be Still.  

The Wait

     When you and I find ourselves staying in the same place until an expected event happens, or until someone arrives, or until it is our turn…we may be in for the spiritual battle of our lives. Because we really don’t know how it’s going to turn out, our thoughts become vulnerable to enemy attack.
Like when Abraham took matters into his own hands while waiting on Gods promise to bring him an heir (Genesis 16:1-4) , David also floundered escaping to the land of the Philistines, thinking that if he did not, Saul would eventually find and kill him (1 Samuel 27:1).

Suffice it to say, waiting for God to will and act in our lives is not all roses. Extended languishing for what appears improbable is the perfect environment for taking matters into our own hands rather than lifting them up in surrender to His sovereignty. The enemy will jump all over any thoughts of doubt and run with them.

We have to go with what we know, and it's a choice on what we focus our thoughts on. God has given us promises in His word. You and I do not know for sure how it’s going to turn out. But we can know in whom we have believed (2 Timothy 1:12). We can trust that He has a purpose for our lives (Jeremiah 29:11). We can rest assured that our God is not a quitter. He finishes what He starts (Philippians 1:6). And most certainly, we can know that He is faithful (1 Corinthians 1:8).
It is this knowing that enables us to get up and move forward while we wait…

TRUST IS A FUNNY THING

     Several days ago I was hanging out with my best friend and we were talking about trust. We were about to hang out with someone new and I could feel my guard was up a bit. I said to him something he already knew about me and my lack of trust; "I hate when I get like this because I try to be open, but I've been used by people with ulterior motives enough times that it's a natural thing that seems to occur when I meet or spend time with someone new."
Trust is a funny thing, and I believe we have levels of trust. I have friends that I trust with general knowledge of my life but I don't trust them with the deep parts of my heart. There are only a tiny handful of people that I trust with the deep parts of my heart.

I trust God with my eternal salvation, my body and health, my finances but I have had to ask myself if there are some areas I don't trust him with. I believe it is that way for most people. We trust God in one area but perhaps not in every area.

Proverbs 3:5 says; Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not to your own understanding.

The word 'trust' here means to have trust and confidence in, to be bold and secure in the Lord. However, as I did a deeper search, I found it also means to lie helpless, face down. This is a picture of a servant, totally submitted to God, waiting for his instruction or command. The depth of trust is literally, submission. To completely trust God, we must have a heart of full obedience to God, one that is fully submitted to God.
The phrase 'lean not to your own understanding' is interesting as well. To lean is to prop yourself up against something...usually we are trying to prop ourselves up on our own understanding, and God says 'don't' do that.' Man's wisdom, man's understanding cannot support the weight of our lives, however, God's wisdom is more than able to support the weight of our lives. When we choose to trust in God, the full weight of our lives, settles on him, and friend, that is good news!

      I don't know how many times I have leaned on my own understanding, fully thinking I was going the right way, only to have God stop me and get me back on HIS path. My way, even if it is good, is not always God's way. The only way I can continually go God's way is to lean entirely on him and refuse to lean on my own understanding, my own insights or my own wisdom. That begins with seeking his face in every step, every decision, and every challenge that comes my way. That begins with getting his point of view and acting on that alone.

      Proverbs 3:6 says; in all your ways acknowledge him and he will direct your paths. I dug into that scripture on yesterday's video teaching that I posted, I only wanted to remind you of that scripture to say this;
Trust begins by acknowledging God and his wisdom and then acting on what we have acknowledged. To acknowledge God and then act on what he says, that is truly trusting God.
The bible tells us over and over again to trust in God alone, and not to trust in flesh, that means our own flesh as well. Today I challenge you to seek Gods way - in the big things but also in the day to day small decisions. Trust him. He is worthy of your trust and has a good plan for you. He has a good outcome for you. He will not fail.
And of course, I too today, as I say all of this, am reminding myself     Blessings

"Even the Broken Ones are Beautiful"

     So if you know me well, I have a slight, obsession with shells. While visiting the Bahamas a few weeks ago, my youngest and I were walking  down a beach looking for shells. We have quite a few and I told her, as she was looking, try to only pick up ones that aren't broken. She stopped and looked at me puzzled and said,
 "But Mom, even the broken ones are beautiful, God made all the shells. Just cause they're broken doesn't mean we shouldn't value them"
And BAM! There it was.... the Lord in His goodness downloaded a message as He often does as I go about my day to day events. These words were like a bolt of lightening that hit me right between the eyes. 
Shells, ones we collect, are tossed and turned in the ocean.  Each shell is unique with not one being identical to another.   Can you imagine the storms, the waves, and things they've been thrown through to get to a point where we pick them up on the beach? It's unusual to find a whole shell without blemish or  some kind of brokenness, yet we place value on the whole shell? 
     As people, we all contain broken places. We've been tossed and turned by the waves of circumstances. Some not our doing, and some from our own choices. Our broken places may exist, and why we need Jesus.... our only hope of being whole again as he fills our broken places. We need to love others in this way too.....be Jesus with skin on so that others can know His love and have Him fill their broken places as well. I am so thankful that God loved me enough to send people into my life who love me right where I am, and where I have been and all the waves that have crashed over me in life.  Me, with all my jagged edges, rough parts and imperfections, yet they still love me with the love of Christ, and more importantly, He loves me despite it all.  I'm thankful that God can use those broken places that I have been tossed and turned, chipped and scarred, and fill them with love and compassion for others dealing with their own broken places and remind them of their value and show them Christ's love, just as He has done for me.   
1 Samuel 16:7
But the Lord said to Samuel, " Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him.  For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart."

What To Do With Your Heart when it Hurts.....

     God brings people into our lives for a reason.  Sometimes we know why, but other times we are just trusting Him by faith and walking it out and may truly never understand the whys.  This morning as I was heading to work, I'm not gonna lie, my heart hurts.  I stood before the Lord long ago and told Him to use me as He sees fit in whatever way necessary to build His kingdom.  Often in speaking to people in ministry and in living my life, I encourage others to live authentically.  Part of living an authentic life is being transparent.  When you become transparent, there is a vulnerability that comes with that. Whenever you allow yourself to be vulnerable, you are allowing yourself to be exposed, especially your heart, and sometimes its not pretty.
  When I love others the way God wired me to, that love runs passionately deep.  Those closest to me know that if I love you, I will do it with a passion that means that I would go to the ends of the earth to help you if you need me, and I will fiercely protect you, even if it means being gashed open in the process.  Love is always a risk no matter the level we hold it at, there is always a risk of getting injured.  I'm talking about ANY kind of love.  Between lovers, between the best of friends or family, or those we are simply compassionate about.  When you love, each time you love, you give part of yourself away.
As I was on my way to to work this morning, my heart, feeling slightly nicked open, was not ready to take on the day and the tears, not yet flowing, were sitting right on the brim.  On my CD player, my best friend Sean singing "Give myself away".  Ive written about this song before, from a different angle, but again it brought me to tears because my heart was already tender.  Sean is a soul  that the Lord uses often to speak into my life and into that of my family, he is truly part of OUR family. He knows my heart and the calling on my life, and has spoken truth to me on more occasions that I can count.  So to hear Sean's voice again singing this song with my injured heart, was Gods way of using Him one more time in my life and the tears began to flow as God's truth fell from his lips.   In this song is a message about how God calls us to give ourselves away to be used for His glory, to build His kingdom, for a bigger purpose.  In doing so successfully, it often means setting ourselves aside keeping in mind that He has a plan that is more than we could ever hope or imagine.
     The truth is that when we love people the way God intended, sometimes we get hurt in the process by the very humans we extend our love to...because we are just that - human. This is why we need Jesus. So what do we do?  Do we then run and close ourselves off?
It is said that there are two ways to deal with pain. One is to shut your heart off so it won’t be hurt; the other is to open it bigger to allow more love to find it.
Amazingly, your heart is a muscle. It has inherent strength that can be made stronger, like every other muscle, simply by using it.
      Choose to use your heart as the wall in which to protect you. Confused?  Listen close....  Even when hurt, continue to build the heart muscle from use. Yes, it feels weakened by the sting, but it’s still capable of all the strength it had before.
A strong, loving heart is more prepared to absorb hurtful blows than weak attempts to hide it from the world. Even a broken heart continues to feed the body.
Grow your heart by learning from the pain and continuing on. Continue on as before, loving as deeply as you can, especially when you want to run and hide. The more you love, the more strength your heart retains and builds.  Love. Learn. Love more.
Imagine your heart as a castle. When something approaches, let it in just as a castle’s drawbridge lets in its guests. Let your still loving heart’s strength protect you from emotional attacks, catapulting letdowns, and poisonous relationships, like the stone walls of those castles.
You see, walls are built stone by stone. Let your stones be loving acts both given and received, instead of compounding defense mechanisms. Give and be grateful for receiving each piece of strength to your wall, knowing there’s still a drawbridge.
 You may be saying "But I loved them dearly and still got hurt!"  No matter how much someone hurts you, you can never un-know that love.  Your ability to love is unchanged, it just comes down to whether you are willing to do it or not, to let down the drawbridge.
Those that I meet now, that approach my castle, are greeted and welcomed with the love instilled in me when I allowed Jesus to come in and make me new. Does it make me vulnerable?  Definitely.  Sure, some people may aim to hurt, or do so unintentionally, but they have no idea the strength they’re up against.
Love after love, my heart becomes stronger. With each loss, a new layer of muscle rebuilds over the last.  With a stronger heart, a stronger love, and a new, different, more beautiful cycle is born.  With each situation we encounter we still have a choice to make each time,  - draw bridge up or draw bridge down.  It can sometimes be very difficult to  walk through when making that decision.
So, in all honesty, what was the point of the defense mechanism walls? Nothing. They only served to contain, block, and otherwise stifle the beautiful strength the heart could build, and otherwise, steal your future joy.  The more you compound your defenses, the more you stifle your heart. The longer you wait to love, the more your heart rusts. Conversely, the more you simply love, the stronger your heart-wall becomes and the more able you are to absorb the hurt and build again.
I guess that is part of giving ourselves away so that others can know that love, the love of Christ.  It is possible that when you love someone that way, they have never felt it before until they met you. Even in the end, if you walk away from a situation, whatever it is, they can't, no matter how hard they try, "Un-Know" that love.  Its a seed planted, maybe meant for someone else to come along and water etc...  but when that love is true, real and raw authentic Christ like love, they will not be able to forget it.  God will use it for Kingdom building, but we can't close ourselves off.  May I encourage you to go ahead and make a mental note of lessons learned, but also to love even more fiercely with every God given opportunity, and not close off or harden your heart by closing the draw bridge. Blessings

Choosing Love........Consider the Packaging

     Think of your words as a kind of product, something you hope to sell to someone else. Most products begin their lives in the Engineering Department—that's where the original concept and design are developed. But once the original design is complete, the product leaves Engineering and goes to Marketing—that's where decisions are made about how the product should be packaged.

     No successful product jumps directly from the Engineering Department to the retail shelf. Imagine breakfast cereals in brown paper bags, or perfume sold in a jelly/ jam jars. Impossible! For some products, such as cosmetics and perfumes, more money is spent on the package than on the product it contains. The product spends more time in Marketing than it does in Engineering.  Why? Because in the real world, books are always judged by their covers, and perfumes are sold by the appealing curves of their bottles', just like pantyhose are sold because their package is shaped like an egg instead of like everyone else's boring box. When it comes to the success of a product, packaging is almost everything.  Strangely, however, when it comes to communication, the packaging is often ignored. If you think of your words as a product, that product should begin its life in Engineering—that's where you think of the idea you'd like to get across. Once that idea leaves Engineering, it OUGHT to head directly to Marketing—that's where the idea is given its look and feel.  Paul encourages us to speak the truth in love. In communicating with those in our lives, truth should supply the content, and love should supply the package. All of us need to become packaging experts because in communication, as in manufacturing, packaging is everything.

   So many people are out in the world are yelling "choose love", “Build bridges, not walls!”, or “We need unity!!”,  which is a great message, YET the more they yell and scream, the louder the yelling gets, the more extreme the demands and wailing for you to LOVE! DON'T JUDGE! LOVE! DON'T JUDGE! LOVE!, the content no longer matches the packaging they originally put out.  When one disagrees with the way things are being presented, often bridges get burnt, those exact same bridges they first yelled should be built. Its then labeled as hate, negativity, or even bullying...but wait, aren't we supposed to choose love, not judge and be united?!  Now there is food for thought. 

1 Corinthians 13:4-7
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

 Its not only important to actually taste your words before you speak them out, but evaluate the force in which you spit them out with.  Determine your goal of the words.  Is it to truly speak loving truth or simply to place blame for what you feel is wrong with the world?  After all, words are just that...WORDS. As the saying goes, "You will catch more flies with honey, then you will with vinegar".  If I truly want to deliver my message of choosing love effectively, then its important to actually be living it, not screaming it at others.  Sometimes words aren't even needed at all, but to simply just live by example and model the love that is needed. 
You can disagree with someone and still treat them with complete love and respect, anything less just causes division. Make sure that the product your claiming as a "must have" is what is being demonstrated on the "packaging". It's just a better technique and will raise your over all "sales" volume, without having to raise your audible volume.

"If we could change ourselves, the tendencies of the world would also change.  As a man changes his own nature, so does the attitude of the world change toward him...we need not wait to see what others do" ~ Gandhi  or as most recently his words tweaked to "Be the change you wish to see".