As I reflect on the last year, its had its moments both good and bad. I'm in the second year of teaching at my school but overall, my 22nd year of teaching, its been the hardest year of my career yet both physically and mentally. I, however, would not have traded it, as both the lessons and the rewards were all worth it, even on the days I felt like giving up, God would show His face and sprinkle a reminder of why I am where He has me at this very moment.
In my home life, my kids kept me running constantly, and in marriage I am blessed to have a husband who "gets" my heart and understands it. In all marriages, it takes work, they ALL take work. Often people believe that you just fall in love and live happily ever after. You can, but it, love, truly is a choice, with some days that are easier than others and that is the honest truth. In my home, Christ is the center, and that may be the only perfect thing in our entire home - Christ himself. There are days that you all love each other madly and then there are days that you'd like to string each other up by their toes. You love, you yell, and cry, you love more, and forgive, and love, kiss, hug and laugh and you grow and love. Our house gets messy, because we live there, and keeping it clean is a constant, never ending chore. If you stop over I cant promise that there wont be dishes in the sink, but I've learned that they will still be there in the morning and that time with family and friends is far more precious. I've learned that "this too shall pass" even when it feels like it wont, it usually does. I am learning that even though I strive at communicating my thoughts, that not everyone is wired that way, and its okay. I've also learned to be silent, but the WHEN to be silent I am still working through ;)
I've learned that family is not just people that you share blood with. I've been blessed with another incredible year of amazing God ordained friendships. I have learned that its not about who you have known the longest but its about those who are there when things are both good and when things are falling apart. I've learned that its about those who will speak truth to you in love always, and still be there to wipe your tears because that truth might hurt a little. I've also learned that those same people will admit and apologize if they've done wrong. I've been reminded many times over that some of my relationships with people do not fit the "traditional" mold and people who don't know my heart, get their panties in a wad when it doesn't. I've learned that it is less to do with me and more to do with their own heart and thinking.
I've learned to deeply appreciate those who are REAL in my life at all times. This year, I've watched friends walk through tragedy of loss and triumph of victory, where we have both cried hard tears and laughed together where your tears wanna run down your leg.
I've walked through the motions, and tears, of begging God not to move one of my closest and best friends across the county, when it was a possibility, all the while asking forgiveness if I was being selfish still asking God to do His will and not mine. (although I wanted Gods will to match my own - just being real).
I've learned even more that when you step out of "the box" that the air is far more fresh than you could even imagine, and I'll never go back to a box mentality again. I've learned that true freedom might seem to cost you something (like stepping into the unknown), but that the payoff of blessings is beyond bigger than you could ever possibly begin to imagine.
I've learned even more, that Gods plan is bigger, more beautiful than I can still begin to comprehend, and just when I think that something is pretty amazing, He has shown me how its just a glimpse of what amazing actually looks like from His perspective.
Most of all I have learned even more to be a reflection of what you want to see. If you want love, then love with all your heart. If you want truth then tell the truth at all times. If you want compassion, be compassionate. If you want realness in others, then be authentic in ALL things without motive.
Most of all, to realize that you may never see this given back to you, but to DO IT ANYWAY. Be the reflection of what you want to see.
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