Since then, you would think that I would have learned my lesson....you'd thnk. All that aside, anyone who has ever ridden with myself and my daughters in a car at the same time for any period of time, is either begging to get out quickly there after, or is laughing, yelling, singing or joking right along with us. We are always up to something.
So last summer I was with my girls, and we had pulling into a fast food line, and my youngest daughter reminded me of my onion ring story. She said "Mom, tell us the story again about the onion rings". I quickly responded with a "NO!" because I didn't want to think about how stupid I felt that I had dropped them. After pulling out of the drive thru, again, same situation. Fries between my knees trying to open my ranch, and down to the floor they went. Seriously?! I COULD NOT believe it. My girls laughed hysterically, but I was soooo mad. When they realized I truly was irritated, they offered some of their fries to me, after I jokingly said to them that I would take theirs if they didn't stop laughing. Then we all laughed at how stupid and funny it was that I had done it again.
Last night I was with my oldest daughter, again, the rare moment of pulling out of a drive thru after a busy evening. We began laughing about the previous times, over the years, that I dropped my fries while driving. Before proceeding, I stopped my car promptly in the parking lot to be sure that while I was opening my sauce that I did NOT drop my fries, that I had situated, once again, between my knees. I was so proud of myself that I had actually thought to do so. However, after celebrating my victory briefly in my mind, it all came to a crashing halt. In my mini-celebration I became ever so slightly over confident, and as I moved forward thinking I had secured this moment as history, I then realized I had not actually secured my fries - AGAIN! As I started driving in my confidence, of course, down my fries went, straight to the floor. I screamed, and Kennedy choked on her food and spit out what was in her mouth she was laughing so hard. I was SOOO MAD, but I did slightly laugh in disbelief. I had nobody to blame but myself. Without question, many of you may be yelling, "DUH Jen, why would you do that again?" I know, I KNOW! :)
God in His sense of humor and wisdom often uses my own stories of stupidity to bring across a point to share in ministry, He is so good like that. I laugh because He knows my sense of humor so well, and also my willingness, long ago, to be a willing vessel for Him. I'm just thankful for the ability and grace to be able to laugh at myself in the process.
The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over, and expecting a different result. How often, though, have we gone to God and prayed for Him to change a situation or especially a situation with a specific person, expecting Him to do the changing, yet seldomly taking a long hard honest look at our own hearts. Ouch! We pray and pray again and again, and maybe even become frustrated with God because we don't see the situation or the person changing. I have learned over the years that often, the first examination we need to do when we feel a certain way about a situation, is to examine our own hearts. That really can be tough if we are certain that it is someone else that is the one who really needs to change. Its not that someone else in your situation doesn't need to have a heart change, but they may not be the only one. That truly is something that can be a concept that is hard to swallow, but often it can be truth. It can be a difficult place to be, examining our own hearts and taking that long hard look. When one does this, its a spot of vulnerability but can really be a place where tremendous growth can take place. It causes you to have to be transparently honest, even if its just with yourself.
Take time to ask yourself if change needs to take place in your own heart. At what point in the situation did you feel things made a turn? How did you react or not react, or what could you have done differently? Most importantly, however, what would Jesus tell you to do?
The blame game really never does anyone any good. Truly the best way to have a heart change toward someone is to, not only pray for them but to, ask God to show you how to look at them with Jesus glasses on. Then, ask Him to point out the areas of your own heart you might need to change, that might best help that situation, or situations. You can choose to continue to look at the situation the same as you always have, and then get irritated after you have prayed a million times, only to have things turn out the same. However, you COULD continue to pray for that person and for that situation and ALSO sincerely for yourself, asking God to show you any needed heart changes you may need to make. You just might be surprised what God might be trying to show YOU.
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