Pressing On With Your Thoughts....First!

     One thing I have learned in this quarantine time frame is the constant need to refocus when my brain starts to go one direction or another.  I remember sitting on my best friends deck after a full day of biking with our families and finally getting to chill out and enjoy the sunset.  I remember telling him that the weather seems to have a serious affect on my moods. When it is sunny, I am all about smiling, getting outside, being active, soaking in the rays and the peace, and spending time with family.  On the rainy days, however, I just wanna wrap up, hibernate, and I'm bummed out a bit, with a side of being susceptible to depressed thoughts.
     I coached athletes for years.  Any good coach knows that a physically conditioned athlete is a good athlete, but a great athlete comes from those who are also conditioned mentally.  How you set you mind, sets your drive, sets your attitude and can launch a mediocre athlete into one of greatness. I used to tell my varsity teams that  "I would take a group of mediocre athletes with great attitudes willing to bust their tails, over tremendously gifted athletes with crappy attitudes - ANY DAY!!!"  Why??  Because attitude matters, and honestly, not just on the field.
As a teacher and an extrovert, I can tell you that remote teaching along being isolated from people I love has been HORRIBLE.  I did not handle it well at first at all, my closest friends and family can tell you that. Remote teaching is not meant for long term, it is flat out hard for everyone.  I have honestly put in double and triple the hours I would in a normal week.  It took my husband to remind me that it was okay to set boundaries for myself in my hours. We were given  9-3pm availability hours via phone and email, but I struggle with sticking to those, I always have because there is so much to do.  If you are a teacher that understands that education is really about relationships...that kids actually learn amazingly with a teacher they connect with, then you will understand that I will do anything to help my students be successful.  This includes trying to help them at all hours and just be there for them to listen, to explain and re-explain the same thing a million times over if needed.  That, however, along with the isolation from my loved ones...was wearing on me and on my mood.  Now add the crappy weather and you've got the perfect storm for disaster of sadness and of bad attitude. Why?  Not the weather, not the circumstance...but how I set my mind, and how I set my thoughts.

Philippians 4:8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

  My daughter, the last few weeks, has been given the opportunity to train with the high school cross country team.  Although not meeting in person but though video and email etc...  she has been training and adding to the team mileage tracker.  She is an athlete, but this is new for her so she is working at conditioning to run miles at a time.  It takes patience.  It takes good attitude.  One day when she was at the end of a 4 mile run (the farthest she had ever been so far), she verbally ripped her sisters head off wanting to know where the "finish line was" because she was exhausted, but we kept encouraging her until she was done.  We laugh about it now.   In true mom fashion I stood and watched her as she crossed into our driveway with her sister and screamed my head off cheering her on. When she realized she did it and how far she had actually run, she was shocked and so proud.  In her training, although I can no longer keep up with her, I have tried to teach her mind set. I've tried to teach her that attitude matters, that what you focus on matters...the pain or how far you have come?  She is not one to be known with a bad attitude at all, her teachers and past coaches would attest to that, but you know when you are tired and cranky, or exhausted and thirsty, etc.... you have to check your thoughts A LOT, and press on.  Today I had her run an extra 2 laps past the 2 miles she had already run, that she was not planning on. She is fighting being sore.  She was not happy about it, but she powered through which is exactly what I wanted her to do. In her tired jog I wanted her to think about what she was thinking on and refocus if needed. Those times are not only physical growing times, but MENTAL growing times. 

   In this quarantine I have really had to check myself.  I have had to really just look to God and say  HELP ME...SHOW ME THE GOODNESS, because I can't see it!

Once we begin to focus on the goodness of God, the negative will fall away.  We need to train our minds, no matter who you are or what you do, to think only on good things. 

Today, as you go about your day, refuse to focus on what you did not finish, what you felt wasn't enough, the pain of failing or what felt like failing, or what could have been better.  Instead, set your mind and thoughts on your accomplishments, where you've been and how far you've come.  Do not look at your shortcomings, celebrate your achievements.  Instead of beating yourself up for what you didn't do, thank God for all He helped you do, see, or focus on, and for all He has done.  Whatever is good and lovely...think on that and press on.  Its truly a game changer. 

Being Exposed....Trust The Process

     If you know anything about me, you know I am obsessed with shells and the beach etc..    I love shells because they are so unique and they tell a story.  I've written about shells before because God uses them to speak to my heart, because of my fascination with them, and remind me that He works all things together for our good for those who love Him, according to Romans 8:28.
     This last weekend I was with my best friend, my nephew and my daughter.  We were bike riding and stopped at an area by a local river.  Everyone began to pick up rocks and start skipping them on the water trying to see how many skips on the water we could get.  This went on for awhile as we enjoyed the beautiful weather and scenery.  Pretty soon my best friend, who is familiar with that area walked over and handed me, what I though was going to be rocks.  When I looked at the handful of shells my mouth fell open.  I had no idea you would be able to find shells on this particular river.  He pointed out an area to me that they were scattered.  I was shocked.  I then teased him about a time when our families were somewhere, and he had told me I would find shells and did not...not a one.  Told him that "This was your way of making it up to me right?!", followed by laughter and him reminding me I had been in the wrong place is the reason I didnt find any.  
  Now that I knew what to look for  in this current location, I began to spot various pieces of shells...big shells.  At one point we both began digging in the dirt like little amatuer archiologists.  Although we were not aware until a few minutes later we were both doing the same thing and digging at what appeared to be LARGE shells for that area. I got the one I was digging out at first, and it was a broken, but large piece of a side of a shell.  He continued to dig and pretty soon he said, "I think I have a whole shell, with both sides intact".  That indeed got my attention.  Sure enough, he pulled up a large and intact shell that was covered in dirt, immediately followed by him saying "There might be a dead animal in there".  He then quickly handed it to me.  It was heavier than what I expected, and I was sure there was something gross inside. 

I took it to the water and washed it off, and whatever had been inside was now gone and rinsed out.  I only peeked through the hole that was on the side, and you could see light shining through the other side seeing that it was now clear.  It wasn't until I got home that I actually opened it up and peered at it.  What laid before me was this beautiful pearly inside that was smooth and shiny.  It was gorgeous.  From the outside you could see the knicks on it, the layers that had worn away, with some still peeling.  The dirt and scratches were evident, but what was the start of the pearly beautiful surface starting to show itself was also there.  The inside though.....WOAH! Lets just say the photos I have do not begin to do justice to its pearly elegance.
    Again, the Lord used this visual to remind me of the work He does in us.  His goal for our lives is to live in the freedom that He sent His son to die on the cross for.  
Shells get tossed around in the water, waves, and weather.  This one in particular had gotten buried on the shore, and when found was full of dirt and deadness until it was rinsed out.  
Sometimes in our own lives we deal with circumstances, of our own doing or someone elses, that causes us to be tossed and turned, or feel buried.  It can cause scratches, brokeness, and dirt in our lives that we have to deal with......eventually.  
Last summer I went to counseling because I was ready to deal with some yuck that had been forced in an area of my life years ago, and had not been dealt with. Instead, I had buried it.   It was affecting me deeply and how I looked at myself, as well as how I responded to those I love. It caused me to believe lies that the enemy had fed me for years because of the dirt placed there. 
 I can look back though, and watch how the Lord used that time of tossing and turning I had been through, to peel away layers and refine me. Remember, He works all things together for our good (Romans 8:28).  I, however, still had some work to do to get some things on the inside cleaned out that had been buried.  I had to get to a point of being willing to be cracked open, and rinse out some of the dirt and the dead things that still existed and affected other parts of me.  Im not going to lie, it was hard and painful at times, and hurt to crack that back open and expose it, but it was necessary and needed to be dealt with.  In order to get to the place where we are existing in the freedom God intends, we need to be willing to be cracked open and expose the yuck that may exist, and deal with it.  Sometimes its dirty, extremely unpleasant, and takes some scrubbing.....but the inside....woah...the beautiful inside.... ;)  
Some people may look at a shell and only see the peeling, dirty, scratched up, weathered, and knicked up parts.  Others, however, can see right past that, straight to its pearly essence that God created and intended.  It is all in the perspective in which you are looking - the eye of the beholder.  People will only see from their level of perception.
  Every person has dealt with circumstances and may have scars, and stories of how it all came to be.  Some people will be in your life and will only see your circumstances, battles, faults, stuggles, or imperfections, but God will send people to cross your path who will see the beauty behind all of that.  They will see the pearly shiny YOU, all along, that God created you to be. You will not have to convince them of your worth. They will cheer you on, and love you through the peeling, cracking open, exposing of the yuck.  All the while encouraging you through the cleansing and scrubbing, as they watch God heal you, as you emerge into more and more of what they have always been able to see......who God created you to be...the treasure of you. 
What is holding you back?  Is there anything keeping you from emerging into the freedom that God created for you? Are there areas that need exposing and cleaned out?  It's not that God doesn't already see it, nothing is hidden from Him. The cleansing process can be messy and difficult, but His resume of faithfulness in your life is THICK.  Ask God to show you the broken places, the places that need irrigating and cleansing, and trust the process. He will not fail you.  

"He has made everything beautiful in its time." Ecc. 3:11

“Behold, I am making all things new.” Rev. 21:5

"Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” Matt. 11:28-30

Control Freak, is That You????

     I have a very open relationship with my kids, family, and closest friends.  I want my kids, family and friends to know I'm real, make mistakes, apologize when I'm wrong, and that REAL love is calling each other out while still walking in love. Transparency and authenticity defuse pride. My kids love to tease me...actually my family and those closest to my heart love to joke around a lot.  They tease me about things I've openly admitted in the past have been issues because I am okay with joking about them.  I think their favorite is a meme they have seen on social media of the person who is freaking out because the house is a mess and company is coming over. They are fluffing and re-fluffing the pillows, vacuuming the dog to get the extra hair picked up, shouting orders to everyone, and other crazy things.  They jokingly say that this is how I get.  Slightly exaggerated but it is true to a far less extreme, or used to be. There is no question that when Momma is stressed, it's not a pretty site.....I'm working on it, nothing more I can say to that other than I'm human.
 The most stressed-out people are control freaks. Although far better than I used to be, I admit at times I fit into this category. Control actually comes out of the root of fear. The more they try to control the world, the more they realize they cannot. Life becomes a cycle of anxiety, failure; anxiety, failure; anxiety, failure. That is because we’ve allowed fear to occupy a space it wasn’t intended to. This may have happened because of a circumstance of your own doing, or a circumstance out of your control.
One of my favorite verses:
1 John 4:18, “Perfect love casts out all fear” His perfect love.  
     In most living rooms in America, there is probably a Master chair of some sort.  I picture some sort of Lazy Boy Recliner type chair, and its where the head of house is designated to sit.  When you live a life of fear, you have allowed the Spirit of Fear to occupy that Masters Chair.  That is not what God intended for our lives.  Tell it to GET OUT in the name of Jesus, but then fill it quickly.  Fill it with His perfect LOVE.  Why?  Reread the verse above. 
When you recognize Heaven has an occupied throne, you allow the Lord of that perfect love to be in control. God then calms your fears, not by removing the problem, but by revealing His divine power and presence.   Your anxiety decreases as your understanding of God increases.
With all that is going on in the world currently,
the next time you fear the future, rejoice in the Lord’s sovereignty. Rejoice in what He has accomplished. Rejoice that He is able to do what you cannot do. Fill your mind with thoughts of Him. Recall His resume of faithfulness in your life. Where others see the problems of the world and wash their hands, see those problems and bend your knees. Intentionally lift up your mind to thoughts about your King. Don’t get lost in your troubles, dare to believe that good things will happen, because you KNOW who holds the future. Examine what sustains your belief, and make sure your belief in God is founded in trusting that HE is in control.

What Your Worry Can Do or What To Do With Your Worry?!

     There was a woman who began to worry extensively about those she loved. She worried about their health, their circumstances and their needs so much that she ended up in the hospital with chest pains because she thought she was having a heart attack. It was a wake up call.
There was a man who began to worry that he would get cancer because it had been prevelent in his family.  He worried about it for years and years and then suddenly died of a heart attack.
 Worry does nothing but waste your time. I have used the scenario when speaking to groups about the rocking chair.  Worry is like being in a rocking chair. You use all your energy rocking back and forth and never get anywhere. Not only that, but it puts you in negative self talk that can affect your choices and your actions. How do I know? I am the woman in scenario number one above.  Worry became my way of life for years. 

Matthew 11:28-30  Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest..........

I remember sitting in front of a Pastor/Counselor years ago, in the defense of my worry, and told him "but if I can look ahead and imagine all that could go wrong, then I can then plan against it in the hopes of preventing it." I will never forget him looking me boldly in the eye and saying: "What a way to live out your life...Is that the way you want to live out your days?"   I knew I didnt, it was exhausting and was taking a toll. Fear is nothing but torment.
  I have worked very hard over the last several years to correct my stinkin' thinkin', as I hold every thought captive and determine what type of thought it is.

Psalm 56:3  When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.

In todays happenings, it is easy to get sucked into a mindset of worry. Just turn on the news media, or social media...it wont be long reading or listening to it and it's possible that you will allow your mind to get sucked in to the web of worry. 
 Is it important to be aware of what is going on in the world? Absolutley! Should you be concerned about your health? Yes.  Should you be concerned about the health and well being of others? Yes.  Should you make efforts to eat wisely and exercise and follow guidlines to stay healthy? Yes.  Should you manage your money well? Yes.  But to be bound to worry on these things will only prevent you from enjoying your health and blessings...the things right smack in front of you.
Jesus told us to get rid of the worry that he forbids by changing our priorities.  He says, "Seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added unto you." (Matthew 6:33)  The problem with worry is that we are seeking the wrong things.  We need to seek God and His kingdom and everything else will fall into place. Does this mean I should not concern myself or act in a responsible manner? No. Should I blindly cross the highway and claim "Well I am seeking first His kingdom, so I dont need to concern myself with getting hit by a vehicle" ?  No.  That would be stupidity.  You must use wisdom and basic common sense as you are led by the Holy Spirit.  
If you are prone to struggle with the stronghold of worry, I suggest doing what I do and have suggested to others at many speaking conferences.  Write it down.  
Write down that worry. When Satan drives you to worry (and he can be relentless), write your worry down. Write in a journal, a notebook, somewhere you can easily access it again.  Write down the things that keep you up at night.  
 Talk to God and tell him that you have written it down.  Along with that worry, also write down what Gods Word states about that worry.  
Maybe you are concerned about lack at this time.  I would suggest looking up Matthew 6:26-34.  If you are concerned about health and protection, read Psalm 91.  Honestly, even if you are not sure, you can do a scripture web search and type in something like "worry about health Bible verse" and you will be given a ton to read. 
Once you find a verse that speaks about the very worry you are concerned about - WRITE IT DOWN.  When that worry comes to mind, instead of focusing on the worry, focus on the WORD.  Repeat it, sing it, etc.....do it over and over.  Retrain your brain to focus on what Gods Word says. 
Will doing this make your problems go away? Probably not.  What it WILL do is shift your focus and shift the weight of those problems off of you and back on to God, right where we should be casting them in the first place. (1 Peter 5:7, Phillipians 4:6-7, Proverbs 12:25)
He is strong enough to carry your burden, so let Him.  Some of us have done this but then later take it back.  Do we think we can out do God?  He has a resume of faithfulness in your life....think about that. Place your worry and concerns in His lap and let it go.  When you do this, you will find that peace that passes all understanding.  It is an on going action.  Sometimes it is daily, even hourly.  Give yourself some grace as you may have to retrain your brain, but trust Him to do what He says He will do.

We All Need......

     While driving back home from our Christmas vacation with family, my daughter, a social work major, was working on paperwork she had to fill out.  One question recalled her experience in dealing with diversity and what it meant to her.  It started us on a conversation about what that meant to each of us.  She has had the blessing of being able to travel to several different countries, work with other cultures etc... in her short 19 year old life, as well as working with much inner city culture.  She has witnessed much diversity in her experiences and it will serve her well as she walks the path God has for her life as he catapults her where she is headed using her gifts.  In our conversation we talked about the different things she's encountered.  Stories, people,  various examples of diversity in culture, religion, race,  etc.....     
     Jumping back over the last few weeks, it has hit me several times that I have watched people do various things to try hard to either impress others, or be deliberate about keeping things so private because of being in fear of what others might say about it.  Those might seem like things on the opposite ends of the spectrum but there is still a common thread of FEAR and being a prisoner to others thoughts about your life.  
     As my daughter and I were talking about the various people and the diversity she has encountered and what she has learned from it,   I reminded her that no matter what differences people have, there is still a common human need, and will always be, no matter diversity.
People can come to you from any walk of life.  They can come from any culture, religion, or ethnicity.  They can come from fortune or from famine, and anything in between.  They can have any kind of ability or disability, and can be of any age.   The bottom line is that even in diversity the most basic human need is still and will always be the same..... the need to be loved, and that they matter.  
This is why people go out of their way to impress, or out of their way to hide things..... it is still the root of fear of not being loved for who we are.  We have all walked this road at one time or another.
     As the new year is upon us, a few things are upon my heart:
1. Let us love people without stopping to inquire about whether they are worthy of it....because they are.  
2. Let us love people, right where they are, so intentionally that it allows them to grow and blossom into who God created them to be.
3. Let us love people so ridiculously strongly that they don't have to worry about fear of rejection. It takes so much more energy to strive to impress or strive to hide parts of our lives than it does to just be real, raw and open.  Sometimes people have done this their whole lives and lost who they are in the process.  
4. Let our fierce love for others help them have a platform to discover or rediscover who God  actually created them to be so that they can walk in His truth, His love, His freedom, and His promises fully without fearing what man may say.

 “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. We love because he first loved us.”

— 1 John 4:18-19

Happy New Year Friends! 

Lets love others fiercely and intentionally in 2020!!

Building Walls

     Over the last year I have taken time to walk through some things in my past that have caused me to build walls in my life.  These walls were built, I assumed because of the lack of trust and fear of getting hurt. FEAR being the key word here. I've had to break down some walls built on lies that the enemy had placed there, in order to discover truth.
In my process of healing, I have learned the importance of building walls but looking at it with a different perspective using different tools. 
Ecclesiastes 3:3 comes to mind "a time to break down and a time to build up."  Over the last few weeks He has instructed me to indeed build a wall...let me explain.
Back in Bible times, walls were built for protection and built for security as defense against the enemies.   Nehemiah rebuilt walls in the second chapter of Nehemiah.  We know that great resistance came against him while he was building these walls.  The enemy knew that once the walls were built that Nehemiah and his people would be safe from harm.  Therefore they were resisted on every turn it seemed.  Psalm 122:7 says;  "Peace be within your walls, prosperity within your palaces. 
 Isaiah 26:1 says "In that day, everyone in the land of Judah will sing this song;  Our city is strong!  We are surrounded by the walls of Gods salvation."  This was enough of a revelation for me to recognize that walls are not a bad thing when done with the right purpose, using the right tools.  How do we build walls??  We need to build them the way that God did with the words of our mouths.  
When speaking of building walls, I think that the best walls need great foundations or they will not stand.  Everyone knows the kids song of the wise and the foolish man building the houses on the rock vs the sand. The BEST foundation if you are wall building is JESUS!!  He is also the cornerstone.  We need to build walls on Him and His word...which are ONE!!
In the book of Joshua, the walls of Jericho came down in a shout.  If the walls came down with the words of their mouth, they can definitely go up with the anointed, God breathed words of our mouth.
Every time we pray, confess or worship God we are building our walls.  The more we do this, the greater, the stronger  our walls become as we confess His word over the life of our families and those we hold closest to our hearts.  As we build walls, the good kind, you and those you love become surrounded by Jesus Himself.  If Jesus is surrounding you then you are safe and protected.  I'm reminded of the story of the 3 pigs who built houses to protect themselves from the wolf.  They did it with good intentions, for protection, but what the first 2 used, seemed good in theory but not a solid and therefore not really and truly protected.   For so many years I have built walls to protect me, but it was with the wrong intent... and done out of fear,  with the wrong perspective and based on lies of the enemy because I had been hurt.   They did not protect me, they just caused more hurt, more confusion.
God actually tells us to build walls.  To create, with His word,  a fortified place where we are protected from our enemy.  That place is Him.  That place is the blood of Christ.  I have begun doing just that recently as I pray for those closest to my heart.  For my family, my best friend, finances, my health, my home, etc... etc...  I can feel God's pleasure in this as He shows me how to build walls the correct way.  As I was studying I came across Micah 7:11.  "In the day when your walls are to be built, in that day the decree shall go far and wide."  WOW!!!
Building our walls has everything to do with our decree!! The day we begin building our walls the limits are removed!!!

Feeling Weak?

 

If you have been on social media, you may have seen a set of questions posted by someone you know where you answered questions about them etc....  The one I remember seeing was for parents, and having your child answer questions about what they knew about you etc...  A few years ago I remember having my kids doing it separately, and posting their answers.  It was both eye opening and comical.  I recall my youngest saying that she thought (at the time) that my age was 28.  Of course I laughed at this, but my oldest daughter, who was like 16 at the time, became logically irritated and told her younger sister to "do the math".  She said "If mom was 28 and I am 16....how old do you think she was when she had ME?".....my youngest responded with an "Oh!"  Personally I just laughed and was glad for the compliment on my age. ha ha.  When my oldest daughter had answered the questions, one in particular took me back.  The question was, "What to you admire most about your mom?"  Her response was "She is physically and mentally one of the strongest people I know".  I'm not gonna lie, I was very taken back by that.  Why?  Because I do not feel strong on most days.  I actually, often, feel very weak on most days.  When I asked her about it, she said to me "Because you never give up".  Still I was taken back by her answer, but was thankful for her response.  I guess I was glad that she saw things that way.
This morning I was reading a devotional and it reminded me about the above memory.  I couldn't tell you the other answers that my oldest answered in those silly surveys a few years back, but the ones mentioned, I do remember.  
This morning I read about Paul. (2 Corinthians 11:25-27).  Paul was a beast!!  Paul was tough, bold and fierce.  He endured many persecutions.  "There were times I was beaten with rods, once I was pelted with stones, three times I was shipwrecked, I spent a night and day in open sea, I have been constantly on the move.  I have been in danger from rivers, bandits, and my fellow Jews, in danger from Gentiles,; in danger in the city, in danger in the country, in danger at sea; and in danger from false believers.  I have labored and toiled and have often gone without sleep; I have known hunger and thirst and have often gone without food; I have been cold and naked."
See, Paul was a beast.  Who else could endure that kind of persecution and still be standing?  Even with his physical and mental strength however, Paul still considered himself weak.
It turns out that Paul wasn't much different that you and I.    He put on a good front.  Paul tried to maintain a positive attitude.  However the worries and terrors Paul endeavored, could even overwhelm him. Still, he pressed on in a bold, confident and courageous manor because he understood that his weakness was the best platform for Gods strength to shine.  (2 Corinthians 12:10)
    I have always been taught to be self sufficient.  My mom is an amazing Godly woman who had to walk through some of her own challenges in life.  I watched her do it with strength and trust in God.  She taught me to work hard for what I wanted.  She taught me to stand for what I believe in.  She taught me to protect those I love and to treat others how you want to be treated.  She taught me to own my mistakes, to pick myself up when I fail and move forward.  All of those are excellent things to teach, and they have served me well.  Where I have often missed it however is forgetting that God is part of that equation.  I feel like I just heard "gasps" around the room - calm down.  Lets be real for a moment.  I think in our own focus sometimes of working hard, pushing to be our best selves, we often can come to rely on "self" in moments at a time.  If you are going to tell me that you have never done that, you need to go repent right now because its simply not true, we have all been there. Its not that I forgot about God being a part, its that my focus was doing the best "I" could do...not a bad thing, just a bit off.  I need to remember that I can do ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST WHO STRENGTHENS ME. (Philippians 4:13)
Self-sufficiency displays nothing of God's power.  Dependency however, sets the stage for strength to shine through.  Weakness allows the glory of God to move in our lives. This is how Paul endured.
Paul believed that Gods strength would not fail him.  Despite what you may have heard, God doesn't shake His head at us when we fail in this area.  When we deal with fear, worry and failure, He is not disappointed and ashamed of us, He sees a man or woman who is dependent on His strength to come in and save the day.  How do we do this (like Paul)?  By choosing to believe it even when we don't feel it.
As I pondered my daughters "strength" response again this morning as I was doing my devotions, I was reminded and it sobered up my thoughts on how I was feeling.....  WEAK, but banking on God to show up....I had almost forgotten. 
 When students in my class reply with excuses like "but, but, but", my reply is often "butts stink, I don't want to hear a BUT from you".  They always laugh, but it clearly gets the point across.  In the phrase above however "WEAK, but banking on God to show up" the "BUT" in that is key!!!  Strength isn't stamina.  It's refusing to quit when you have none.  
I have a dear dear friend, an evangelist, Kent Fishel, who I have known since I was a pre-teen.  I remember him saying this phrase over and over in my head. "A Christian is someone who gets up one more time than he or she falls down."  I have used that saying as a reminder many times in my life, but I would like to add one more thing to it.  "A Christian is someone who gets up one more time than he or she falls down, by grasping the hand of Jesus who is reaching out for them".
We are not self-sufficient.  We must become Jesus dependent.  Day after weary day.
   I still remember my best friends loving but direct words ringing in my ears over a year ago when I was struggling and felt incredibly weak.  He said "Lets see Jen, how many times has God failed you...hhhmmm...none, that's right, so why would it be different now!!!?"
No matter what is sapping your strength or causing you to curl up into fetal position...turn your attention away from circumstances, from what you lack into what He can give.  
     A few weeks ago my dear friend Taylor sang the song "You Say" at the end of our church service.  I have heard this song a million times.  Taylor and I are close, she knows me well.  She knows my heart, our souls are connected, and some how always has seen it clearly...the tender, weak mess that it sometimes is, she knows my deepest desire is to be all that God has called me to be, and sometimes its just hard as I fight through lies that the enemy placed in my head over the years.  When she sang this song, the same song I have heard a million times, I WEPT.  I wept all the way through it.  I have asked myself why, but the truth is because she knows me, and God used her to slap me upside the head.  I was feeling weak, I was believing lies the enemy was throwing at me because that is what he likes to do.  I knew the truth but I was relying on my own "self-sufficiency" to pull me through....It wasn't working. DUH!  It was in this moment as she sang this song that God was saying to me "HELLO, remember me?!    Right after she was done singing, it was only a few minutes later that my best friend also said to me "We've got you" without me having to utter a word. 
Even when we cant remember because life gets blurry sometimes, God will send people or reminders to let you know that your strength is in HIM, in HIS word, His promises, that you are not alone.
When you are feeling ill-equipped, overwhelmed, and weak, Gods grace, God strength, is sufficient for you.  Believe that His strength will not fail.