Under Pressure

     A close friend and I were having a conversation one day, and he said to me "Leading worship is a lot of pressure, I'd rather preach".  This comment made perfect sense to me because he IS called to be a pastor so the anointing is clearly there in his life for that, without question.  He wasn't, in any way, saying that being a pastor didn't have its pressures, because it does, just that he felt MORE equipped to do that, than to lead worship.  Like many things do in my life, this got the wheels in my head turning and thinking about pressure.  The Lord often uses these things in my life to speak to me and use them to minister. In true Lord fashion, He woke me in the night to speak to my heart.
 It is true that each calling on a Christians life has pressures, its own unique pressures.  In my own life I feel I have been called to do both, worship lead as well as minister the Word in maybe more non-traditional settings and have done just that, so although there IS definitely pressure in both,  I know that God has fully equipped me. When I am worshiping, I like to get to a place where its not about singing songs, in or out of key, who is leading, or how many parts there are etc....I like to think of the focus as if you are getting naked before the Lord, and just laying it all down.  The Lord is very aware of what our bodies look like under all the layers of clothes, right down to the dimples, the rolls, all crevices, and even the stinky places ha ha, so he is not surprised by it because nothing is hidden from God.  But its when we CHOOSE to lay it down on purpose,letting go of ourselves,  not worrying about the details or who might be staring but just wholeheartedly laying it out being incredibly vulnerable, being raw, real and free in your worship.  From that point He can do what He needs to do because you have been an open willing vessel.    If you are "worshiping" with the focus and expectation of it being for anyone or anything BUT the Lord, then there IS added additional pressure, because I am assuming that everyone else has never seen you naked and vulnerable, and then its just awkward.
  God has reminded me that there are some really cool things that are created under elevated heat and pressure, like gemstones.  All kinds of gemstones are created by pressure and each one unique.  If God has made me a diamond, then I only have to be just that...a diamond.  If I try to be a sapphire or an emerald then I am going to be dealing with a lot more added pressures that God did not intend because I was created as a diamond.  I don't need to try and be something I am not, just let go and be who God made me to be in MY calling.  By doing just that, He is able to, in my raw and real state, continue to polish me and shine through me as intended, beaming His light into all the world.  

I Don't Care What Others Think - Really?!

     I've had the privilege of speaking on this very topic to hundreds of youth in the Midwest, but this topic does not apply to just youth.  If you are breathing, then it applies to you.  The Lord has brought it back upon my heart to write about more and so here I am at my computer.
I hear a lot about this these days, from adults and teens alike...."I don't care what anyone thinks", and in my observation, the more and the louder the screaming on this, the more that person is trying to convince themselves rather than others.  There, BAM, I said it!  Painful but true.  Let me give you a minute to let that soak in.  The truth about that statement, is that the very thing you scream that you "do not need" typically consumes you.  If it were a good thing, I'd tell you to get me a ladder and I would help you shout it from the rooftops.
Someone continuously screaming this is like the heroin addict who says that they can quit anytime they want to.  The truth is that even entire industries like fashion for example, exist because people care what other people think.  Its true that someone can say that they are dressing for themselves, but is it the whole truth?  I do think teens struggle in this area more than adults but its not just fashion we seek approval on it can be hair, music, even the way we talk....
Remember back in high school when the strive was to be popular?  I admit not really remembering caring that much whether I was or wasn't, but at some point it crosses everyone's mind, it did mine too.  Its reality.  So much so, that entire movies are made out of whether one is popular or is focused on as the nerd.  It's up to each persons perception however, on what they deem popular.  To this day, I never felt I was popular, but it depends on who in my high school I talk to, and their own perception.  Simply because I was an athlete, I was deemed "popular" by some, but as an athlete I didn't feel popular...I looked at another crowd as the "popular crowd".  Funny how that works and is all in ones perception.  The very thing we may strive for, we may never obtain because the grass always seems greener over yonder.
Caring, however, about what other people think isn't about popularity, its about BELONGING.
No offense to my cheerleader friends, but lets think back again to high school.  If a girl hates cheerleaders, she wants to be seen different than them - but still seen.  The desire to be associated or disassociated from anyone or anything is to STILL care what people think.  (let that one sink in a minute.)
     If a person gets a reputation for caring what other people think, they are called desperate, insecure, shallow, or mindless.  Today, however, people are trying desperately to be seen instead with the reputation that says "I don't care what you think"..... THE IRONY!!
When someone says "I don't care what anyone thinks about me", its never true.  What they may mean is that they don't care what a particular person thinks, that they don't care what YOU think about this issue, OR that you don't have all the facts about me so your opinion is irrelevant or incorrect.  BUT to say we don't care what ANYONE thinks is just not true, we all do.  Belonging is a powerful motivator.
Caring what other people think is NOT A WEAKNESS or insecurity.  (I am hearing gasps around the room right now).  It is born for the  need for relationship, and it IS a need.
God saw that it was not good for man to be alone.  Our primal desires for love, affirmation, validation, and friendship are reflections of that truth.  Caring what people think is not a character flaw that makes you egocentric or insecure, it is what makes you HUMAN.
     There IS a middle ground between obsession with being noticed, and total disregard for your reputation.  We need to stop wearing the whole "I DON'T CARE" thing like its a badge of honor.  Not caring doesn't make you stronger, it actually just makes you lonelier.
Lets give people the benefit of the doubt however, maybe the notion that some peoples opinions should carry more weight than others is entirely too much to handle, but personally that is how it works in my world.  All opinions are NOT created equal.
We all know that EVERYONE has an opinion, but we need to look at those opinions like life and death voices.  You get to choose whose opinions to listen to, and when.  You are allowed to listen to what is true and also to ignore what isn't.  Life voices will speak truth, and encourage you in your calling, while death voices with try to hold you back, and are usually full of confusion and untruths.
We have to always weigh out opinions because they are a dime a dozen, but they do not all weigh they same and weighting them incorrectly can cost you.
 With God, yourself, spouse, parents, children, friends, acquaintances,  and strangers etc...
 God is the ONLY ONE dealing with ALL the information.  I am thankful constantly that He looks upon the heart (Samuel 16:7).  People, on the other hand collect information from: your appearance, personality, choices, the company you keep, your social media posts etc...and whatever else measure of worth that seems important at the time.
Only God knows every minute of every single day.  Hebrews 4:13 states that "Nothing in all creation is hidden from God's sight.  Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account."  Only God knows your innermost thoughts according to Psalms 139:1-4  "You have searched me, Lord, and you know me.  You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar.  You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways.  Before a word is on my tongue you, Lord, know it completely."
Only God knows every hurt, motivation,  or experience that has shaped you in anyway.   Only God is working with all the information.
Romans 2:2 states that "Now we know that God's judgement against those who do such things is based on truth".
HE SEES ME AND HE SEES YOU!!  It will be God that you stand before ONLY...the only ONE who really knows you.  You are the apple of His eye and His word is final.  If He says you need to be saved - you do, if He says you are forgiven - you are, if he say you are pure and lovely - you are.  Only Gods opinion matters!!
You know more about yourself than any human being. You have a lifetime of thoughts, feelings and experiences that you have probably never shared.  A persons heart can be a deep ocean of secrets we may have never even thought to share.  When you value the opinions of others over what we know to be true, those false labels can wrap themselves around us squeezing the very life out of us like a boa constrictor.  Lets consider others in your life...  should their thoughts and opinions count?
Spouses or parents should count.  They know you, and we are also called to honor them.  As a personal rule, I don't keep things from my husband.  Sure, there have been things I have forgotten to tell him from time to time, but to live on purpose, means to keep nothing from him if I possibly can. Are there a few things he probably doesn't know about me still even after 13 years of being together, for sure, because they are things in my past that I haven't even thought to share (stories or things that have happened in my life that probably are irrelevant anyway, but not kept away on purpose).  His opinion matters to me because I want to be walking in the shadow of his blessing.  I do a lot in ministry, and I always ask his opinion on things because in Gods eyes we are one.  Have we ever disagreed? For sure.  Have I ever gone and done something against his wishes?.....I admit I have and later wished I had listened.  He would say the say the same.  It matters to me what he thinks because by Gods divine plan, I am under his leadership.  I also care what my children think because I am their role model, I want to be sure I am modeling to them a Godly walk as much as possible.
     Relationships matter, so friendships matter, and I don't just mean ANY friends.  I mean your closest most inner circle.  Best friends are more than people you just hang out with, or laugh with.  Best friends are the people that are there for you in ALL seasons, those that speak truth in your life to you even when you may not want to hear it.  Those people that love you enough to pull the corn cob out of your behind, or that tear up your ticket when you have gotten aboard the "bitter bus" when your have gotten on the wrong path.  The friends that love you through thick and thin, right where you are, who are more like family to you.  They are the family that YOU get to pick.
Don't misunderstand, there is a huge difference between caring what friends think and internalizing everything they say and making choices just to appease people.
 I recently had a  best friend contemplating a job offer that would have moved him across the country.  I admit I was devastated at the thought, and cried many tears.  I knew it was safe to share with him my feelings because I KNEW he would do what the Lord was calling him to do regardless of my thoughts or feelings.  Did he care about my feelings, for sure, and definitely didn't want me to be sad, but knowing his heart and thoughts and him knowing mine, it was safe to be honest with him because his focus (and mine) was Gods complete will for his life, as it SHOULD be.
Consider Galatians 1:10  Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or God? or am I trying to please people?  If I were trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.
     Now lets take a look at the community...or everyone else...
This comes down to your reputation, and we all have one.  I want to be clear when saying the word REPUTATION.  Reputation does not mean the stuff that people make up about you, imagine about you, or presume about you.  Reputation is the things that YOU ARE KNOWN FOR.
One person can misjudge you.  A group of friends can misjudge you, but if what you are KNOWN for in your community is being a snob, for example,  then this either means you are or whatever you are putting out there makes you appear that way.  If one person sees something they may be mistaken, if ten people see it, it COULD be true.  Communities are on the witness stand, and our behavior is evidence, with the verdict being our reputation.  I can hear groans out there and people still saying "who cares about reputation", but the truth is that it does matter, and this is why.  You want your friends and family to trust you, you want your boss to give you a break if you make a mistake or if you need a reference for your ideal job,  you may need help with something some day...like moving, and nobody is going to want to help you if they think you are a snob.
Honestly, ignoring reputation is not empowering, its stupidity!!  Even Proverbs speaks of it in 22:1 saying "a good name is more desirable than great riches; to be esteemed is better than silver or gold."   When a person lives with integrity and grace, a good reputation will inevitable follow.  We should all endeavor to live so that if anyone were to speak ill of us, no one would believe them.
   Lets not forget strangers.  I get hate mail all the time for things that I post or write,  I would imagine I will get some from this post as well.  The truth is that you can't make everyone like you or agree with you.  You honestly would have an easier time trying to wrestle a pig covering in vasoline then trying to defend yourself to some, so don't waste your energy.  If I ever reply to that kind of mail, I have been known to tell those people to take a number or save their breath, but that I love them anyway.
     Our society is guilty of half-truths that contain within them lies...WHICH MAKES THEM ONLY HALF TRUE.  Relationships matter, reputation matters, testimonies matter, people should care about what others think about them.  The world however is full of over-correctors.  In our zeal of screaming or demonstrating that "we don't care what anyone else thinks" we take it too far and end up uncensoring ourselves and being down right RUDE.  Telling the truth does not give permission for rudeness, ever.
Maturity plays a huge role in this.  Yes, its time to put on your big girl or big boy pants.
Being nice to someone you don't like isn't hypocritical, its mature.  Keeping your mouth shut isn't cowardly, its mature.  Accepting criticism and using it to grow isn't letting other people define you, its being mature.
I believe the balance is grace.  Grace for ourselves in that what others think doesn't define us.  Grace for everyone in that their opinion is valid, so I will listen and discern graciously, but ultimately you need to follow what Christ is leading you to do because in the end.....even though your actions can have a ripple effect consequence with others.....it is HE that you will answer to.
 I know that when I get to Heaven I want to hear "Well done" for whatever my actions here on Earth were..
 So by making a statement of "I don't care what ANYONE thinks" is just NOT TRUE for anyone, because if it matters to you what ONE thinks...then this in itself, is a false statement.

Stopping the Noise to Refocus

I'm not a "rescue mom". I'm a full believer to let consequences fall when a child doesn't follow through on their end of the deal. Although it's hard, that is how they learn.  Today,  however, one has to make the determination between still allowing consequences to fall but also knowing when to take a time out, to hold her and wipe the tears, and helping her recognize and stop the noise, helping her refocus when her world feels like it's caving in from her perspective. I know it's not, but from her 4th grade perception, that's what it feels like....and everyone's perception counts. So I've stopped my schedule and what I'd had planned and taken time to do just that. What a difference it's made as she was able to gain perspective, learn and walk it out.

I've felt this way very recently....like the walls were closing in. I've cried a lot in the last couple months and have become frustratingly impatient for God to move....even angry..yep I said it. Angry to the point of feeling it start to seep in like poison to my soul.  Thank God for my best friends who aren't afraid to call me out.  Ive had to take a step back and examine my heart and clear my head, and shut my mouth more so than normal (a work in progress).  And there is God in all His fullness and glory ready to hold me, wipe my tears....knowing what my world looks like from my perception...but seeing the fullness of it from His. Reminding me of His promises, helping me refocus, and helping me recognize and stop the noise. To take back what the enemy was trying to get his grubby little mitts on. To show me where I had misplaced and stuffed away my joy.  To show me how to get it right.  A work in progress.

He didn't even have to rearrange His schedule....I am His schedule. All I had to do was STOP and crawl up in His lap and focus on His beating heart.  Nothing else matters when you can focus on that. When He becomes your focus, everything else falls into rhythm. God is good. 

Beautiful Aftermath

I had so much fun this last summer with my friends at the Blueberry Festival  just hanging out and watching the fireworks.  As we were watching the fireworks in all their glory, in between loud booms, laughs and the cutting of jokes,  I sat there watching with such gratitude for where God has brought me. Im a visual learner and  He likes to remind me, and show me things through every day happenings.  As I watched, I began to think about the times in my life where I felt things were blowing up with what felt like in my face....explosions that made my world shake, difficult circumstances that felt like my life was falling apart.  But He has taken those instances and made beauty from them...each one of them.  Some explosions in my life were from my own doing, my own choices...I was the one who held the match.  Other times it was someone else doin the lighting and it may have been out of my control, but the explosion happened regardless and I was left to deal with the fall out.  But, just like fireworks, the beauty comes after the "boom".....thats when God takes it and makes it all beautiful and we can stand back and be in awe of what He has done and continues to do in each of our lives after blow outs or explosions, because He loves us, and in Romans 8:28 we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
Beauty from ashes if you will.  
As I sat there in my gratitude, surrounded by friends He has brought into my and my family's lives for such a time as this, I was thankful for the "booms" and "explosions" Ive had to walk through and what He has made of them.  No, I wouldnt want to go back through those things again, but I am thankful for what He has done in my life and who He has placed in my life as a result having to walk where I have walked....the beautiful aftermath....the stuff that makes you go oooooh and ahhhhhh.......the good stuff.  I'm so thankful.

Friendship....What is it?

This last weekend, which ended up being a four day weekend for me, went by so fast but it was such a great weekend. I've been wanting to have my closest friends over for awhile, but until volleyball season was done there was just no time. Although I wasn't able to have them all over because of their various, previously planned family activities, I was sure glad some could come. We certainly didn't lack for humor or entertainment. Next time we will get us ALL together. :)

I began to think (which is typical Jen), and reflect on what makes these people so special to me.....I could name a million things easily.  A couple of them I knew immediately upon meeting them that there was an immediate bond of friendship almost before words were spoken. Some I've spent years and years knowing and bonding. Some I've known approx.5-10 years and one of my closest and dearest, for only 2 years this fall, and another for 2 in December. It's not the amount of years though that matters to me in any of these friendships.  It's not even the gender of some, and I hear a lot of flack over that from people....but I laugh, because even my own husband has no issues because he knows my full heart on the matter,  so what others think or have to say is irrelevant to me. 

When I think on these people, there is a huge bond of trust.  It's a trust I've NEVER had to question. It's a trust that gives freedom of being able to be 100% me...no masks, pretending, no filters...just me. If that means me furiously angry, me hysterically freaking out,  me bawling my eyes out with snot dripping and make up down my face, or me jumping up and down, unrestrained peeing my pants laughing me....it's all ok. I've never had to force my way into their lives, it was an easy fit.  These people have been there not just in word but in truth AND deed.....even when it was hard. Some have had to talk me down or slap me with hard realities. They've held my hand or wiped my tears and fervently prayed for me at times I just couldn't find the words. They've cheered me on and reminded me of the song in my heart when I couldn't remember what I'd been singing.   The beauty in it all.....is that I've had the blessing of doing the same for them at various times, even if it was just a moment. They will all tell you that I'm an emotional, living out loud,  deep thinker and feeler of things,  but it's not just things about my own life but about theirs as well. When I'm in a friendship I know God has placed there clearly, and purposefully, make no mistake...I'm IN IT FULLY. They became family, and a girl STANDS with them, behind them, and often in front of them to protect, when that IS needed. 

I have lots of people I call friends, but only a handful of friends in my entire life that I consider family. This is not by accident but for such a time as this. For a super exciting time that God has a purpose and plan laid out long before any of us ever saw the womb. 

I talk a lot about my friendships. I value them deeply. They've taught me a ton about what true friendship is. It's a beautiful rarity, a treasure from God. We have, all of us, so much in common, but mostly it's a deep burning passion to run where the Lord is calling us relentlessly, and knowing that is truly all that matters....HIM. It's an understanding that our lives are created not about us, but about Him.  When the race gets tough, we are there to scream to each other,  "suck it up cupcake", to "you can do it" to "I'm so proud of you", to "love you",  and packing punches that will knock the T right off the word can't reminding us we CAN.  

It's taken me years to understand the true meaning of REAL RAW friendship and I am still learning...endlessly learning. 

Most of all I'm thankful that God looked at me and said "because I love you, I'm putting these amazing people in your life because they are part of the beautiful big picture". I am truly BEYOND blessed. 

Trying to Limit Conception

     In my job I get the blessing of teaching students both health and scientific facts.  I’m kind of a science and health geek because I love learning and teaching about the cool creation that God has made in the human body.

   Recently I read an article about how the body reacts to stress.  When couples are trying to conceive, stress makes it very difficult to do so for various reasons.

As I began to think on this, as I am finished having children, I thought that this information did not pertain to me, but yet I realize it does.  The Lord began to speak to me about my own life.  Here, in the last two weeks, I have been waking up at night 2 or 3 times sometimes with something on my mind….stressors. 

 My volleyball team just competed in Semi-state so I assumed it was that in all its excitement, but that competition was last weekend, and it still happening.  I then had to start looking at WHAT I was thinking of when I woke.  I have been thinking on things of the future.  I have a daughter who is now at 15, seeking out colleges and coaches because she has plans to play volleyball in a few years in college.  I’ve been worrying (although I know we are not supposed to), about where she will go, and although I have been able to save some money for college, it will not be near enough, so wondering how we are going to pay for it.  I have been thinking about the sudden items breaking down in our house that need repair,  or how I am going to get kids to this or that...etc... The list seems endless to me, but lately its been waking me up in the night, which should not be. 

 God does not want us to worry.  365 times in the Bible, is says “Do Not Fear”…this includes worry.  When we worry, we are not walking in faith.  Fear and faith cannot be in the same place.   Stress can cause infertility physically but can also cause us to not be able to conceive in the Spirit.  It is very difficult to conceive when you are in stress, fear or anxiety.  Stress is not a good breeding ground for miracles to be conceived.  It also makes it very difficult to hear His voice when all you hear are the thoughts of anxiety buzzing around.  His voice is heard best in peace and not in  “Chaotic Crazyville”.  God is a God of peace.

Stress is a tool that we hand right to the devil when we open the door to those thoughts – I am guilty.  He takes it and runs with it and wreaks havoc in our lives if we let him.  When he attacks, stress and anxiety comes, and fear comes.  We then begin to seek God out of desperation and not faith.  As long as we allow it to remain, it will be difficult to hear God and even more difficult to conceive the possible miracle that we need.

I find it interesting that reproductive systems in both humans and animals may shut down during times of stress and that the LAST thing the enemy wants is for a Christian to "reproduce", especially if they are ON FIRE for God.  If he can keep you in stress, he can keep you from spreading the Word and getting others born again or bringing others out of bondage and into freedom because they have heard Gods truth and experience revelation in their own lives.  If we are caught up in our own kingdom with stress, we cannot begin to help build Gods. 

There is no doubt that when attacks come it is extremely difficult to NOT be stressed, to not feel pressure of the attack.  Its difficult, but not impossible.

For me this was revelation knowledge that God brought into my mind.  When I know the enemy’s tactics, it helps me a lot.  Knowing that he is trying to keep me from conceiving what God has for me helps me.  Knowledge alone will help me recognize and overcome.  When I came to this realization I actually laughed out loud and thought "I dont think so devil!!"    I am not surprised at these attacks, as I am stepping into a new season, along awaited one, and I KNOW God has big plans for this season.

Isaiah 26:3 says that God will keep us in perfect peace when our mind is stayed upon Him. 

 He has done this in many times in my life, I have watched it over and over.  The problem occurs when we take our minds off of Him and lose focus while the enemy is breathing his stanky breath in our ears.  God, however, is the author of peace.  Jesus is the author and finisher of your faith.  If God is for us, who can be against us?  The enemy could not stop Him from reproducing and he can’t stop us either, if we stay in peace.  Keep your mind off the battle and on God, He will do the fighting for you. 

Obsession and The "F Word"

I, by nature, am an over-thinker. Sometimes its because I can't get my mind to shut off and another is because I am choosing to dissect things.  I am a true science geek at heart with a little bit of psychology thrown in the mix as I try to not only understand myself but those around me.
After having a conversation with one of my best friends, where we had briefly talked about the word "obsession" and it affects, I began to think more and more about that word, its meanings, and its root.  
Websters defines it as:
 "To preoccupy or fill the mind of (someone) continually, intrusively, and to a troubling extent."

   In the world people are obsessed with money, people, things, fame, health, exercise, and a plethora of other things......., If we are honest, we are all probably obsessed with something in our lives.  I can tell you honestly that in my life I have struggled with being obsessed with my schedule and getting things done or being on time.  I have gotten much better over the last few years but I catch myself being that way at times.
I like to break things down and think about where they start....maybe I am "obsessed" with understanding people.  ha ha.  The definition talks about "becoming preoccupied or filling the mind", so at some point it begins with a thought or even a fantasy...a need that maybe we are trying to fill.  If this is the case, then in our minds, we must have felt a type of lack, or a fear of coming into lack.  Fear is a HUGE key here.  If I am speaking of my own life, my "obsession" with time and scheduling appears because I hate to be late.  The reason I hate to be late is because I do not want to miss out on something like time with family, friends or participating in an activity...valuable time.  Something in my life I deem very precious because one never knows when time is going to run out.
So again the root - FEAR...that "F word" again.  
If we are obsessed with things, or obsessed with someone, you have to ask yourself WHY?  I guarantee that if you trace it down to the root....its that "F word" Fear again.  
What is it that we are afraid of?   Fear is a tricky thing that in the long run can rob you of so very much in your life.  I like to use the "3 D's" to describe it.
Fear destroys, distorts, and discourages.    So much damage is already done before we even realize it.  That is the enemy's goal..."to steal kill and destroy" as stated in John 10:10.  He wants to kill your focus, steal your time and destroy your relationships.....that IS what obsession does.
The enemy WANTS you to be in fear of LACK, but what does the Bible say about lack?
I love these verses:  

Deuteronomy 2:7 "For the LORD your God has blessed you in all that you have done; He has known your wanderings through this great wilderness These forty years the LORD your God has been with you; you have not lacked a thing."'

James 1:4 
Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.


The Bible says so much more but I do love these verses.  God provides all we need, so if there is lack, or fear of it, God says we lack for nothing.  
He has also given us all we need and promises to supply all of our needs according
 to Philippians 4:19. 
If you are finding that you are dealing with obsession, trace it back and address the fear.  It is not God that gives us the spirit of fear, that instead comes from the enemy.  God gives us one of power and of love and of a sound mind according to 2 Timothy 1:7.  
I am NOT promoting obsession by any means, but if we are to be obsessed with anything, God wants us to be obsessed with Him.  We should be obsessed with hearing His voice and His direction and in fear of having things in our lives that keep us from hearing Him clearly.  If your focus is THOSE things and those alone, all else should fall into place and the need to obsess about anyone or anything is irrelevant.  Blessings