Joy Confuses The Enemy

  As crazy as this may sound to say (or type) outloud, today I made a decision to choose joy.  It sounds simple enough but lets think on this for a bit.   I'm unsure how many of you have ever given birth, or have been constipated (yes I went there and I heard God laugh).  You know that when you give “birth” (whichever way you go - lol), there are uncomfortable moments.  There are downright painful moments…I have lived both scenarios.

Life sometimes deals us with circumstances that the enemy will use to steal your joy.  He cannot steal it if we don’t leave it available for him to take.  He can only take it when we allow it.  We can be in a valley so deep, so painful, that to push through is some ugly hard stuff.  Sometimes we don't even know how or when to take a breath. It is incredibly heavy and suffocating.   We have a choice to stay there or to press forward.  Just like in birth or yes, even in constipation,  if we dont push forward the result of not doing so will cause complications or even cause death.  Regardless, we have to make a choice.  We can sit in that season grasping on to the teeny tiny bits of joy we can get our hands on, like drowning and take gasps of oxygen only when we come just above surface, or we can race to the top, pushing, swimming, pressing, and finally bust through

Ive been in a valley in the last season.  Within that season I left my joy exposed and the enemy swiped it from me, and I didnt stop him.  I stopped doing things God has called me to do, like writing regularly, writing songs, speaking publicly etc…smiling, being an encourager etc….just being WHO He made me to be.   Today I made a choice to stop being “constipated”.  Today I made a choice to stop being a bottom dweller and bust through by racing up, against the current, busting above the surface and staying at the top.  Today, as I forced myself to not only bust through, but to take a huge solid breath of refreshing oxygen once I got to the top and stay there.  It was hard.  It has been way easier to simply sit on the bottom and soak in all I have been dealt.  Some days I really wanted to do just that.  

Today I chose joy.  As I went to drop off my daughter for her last day of school of her sophomore year, I rolled down the windows the last half mile, and cranked up the music.   I watched her face go into shock and she literally said “Oh God, Oh God”.  As I started singing the lyrics to “We will rock you” at the top of my lungs we both began laughing hard.  I pulled into the high school with an all out party in my car as I sang, shouted, danced and cheered her on for her last school day of the year out the window for the whole world to hear, and I didnt care who didnt like it.   She was super embarrassed but in the same breath, she also loved every single second of it.  If you have known me for a long time, none of that behavior probably surprises you in the least.  If you have known me less than a year, then that probably is a behavior you have not yet seen.  I'm not proud of that but it's true.  I am, by taking my joy back, starting to remember who God created me to be. I have honestly forgotten what that felt like.  I have allowed some of that to be buried in my circumstances, unless you are in my small trusted tribe (who got to see glimpses of that from time to time) in those “gasping for oxygen” moments I spoke of earlier. 

Joy confuses the enemy.  Joy and praise allow God to demonstrate His mighty power on your behalf.  I watched it happen today.  It was a breakthrough that I have needed for quite some time and it was all in my own grasp right there extended by the Lord the whole time.  A hard and sobering thought to me was, in the process of me NOT choosing joy this whole time,  was WHOM was I drowning in the process? Who  did I also suffocate and keep sitting at the bottom with me entangled in my sorrow.  My kids?  My best friend? My family, friends, co-workers, students, acquaintances?  People who have prayed for me and been there for me every step….how did my “not choosing joy” hold them back, because I know it did. I can’t change the past now, but I can press forward.  It doesn't mean there will be no tears, or that we don't feel sadness or grief.  We may pocket joy for a moment, but it is still on our person while we sift through those moments, eventually pulling it back out.  It's not like I didn't know all this information before.  I did, but I had to be ready to push.  Remember the “giving birth” scenario? You have to make a decision to “push” forward.  The longer you wait, refusing to move, the more complications or losses.

“For you shall go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and the hills before you shall break forth into singing, and all the trees of the field shall clap their hands.” Isaiah 55:12

      The first 13 words though…I experienced today.  For you shall go out in joy and be led forth in peace.  After I busted out, swiped my joy back, there was peace and has been all day.  Doesn't mean I havent had to deal with junk, but as the Bible says in Neh. 8:10 The joy of the Lord is our strength.  I literally watched that happen today.  Not only that, I physically WATCHED how it affected my daughter.  She was embarrassed but laughed and smiled the whole time and actually pulled out her phone to video it.  That says a lot to me, she wanted to save the moment.  

My goal for myself and for you is to continue to CONFUSE THE ENEMY.  I don't want to forget what this feels like.  I want to remember what that gulp of “fresh air” felt like and run with it. If you have given your joy away, you can also get yours back.  I'm not pretending it will be simple and won't be a challenge.  I am certain I will be coming back to this writing to remind myself at some point, but know that it is possible, and starts with a choice.  Don’t allow the enemy's crap to “constipate” you.  Lets confuse the crap out of him.  Make the choice to rejoice. I'm sure gonna keep reminding myself.  Blessings.

Be Happy?…..How?!

   Yesterday I cried in the arms of my co-worker, two actually, who offered me hugs that were needed and words of encouragement that were much needed after dealing with the loss of my father-in-law, and dog in the same weekend. This didnt include other battles that are being had in the midst of it all. .  Life has been down right hard, and I have been sad.  Battling depression at times as the weight of everything feels so heavy even when I have been doing my best to “Cast my cares”.  After being gone much of last week, talking with people,  and today,  running a meeting this morning with co-workers and chatting, I realize that many many people are struggling or battling something. It’s not just me.  I sat at my desk and cried yesterday during my lunch for a moment.  It, to be honest, has felt like that for months…heavy and hard for many people I love.  

Yesterday, my first day back at work, after being out for bereavement, students during my plan time came walking into my class ,with a camera, to interview me for the news about ‘What makes me happy”.  I laughed right out loud.  They realize recently I have been through a lot lately and one student said to me, “Its okay Mrs, Hock, take a breath and remember what makes you happy and we will wait until you are ready.”  I took a breath, rubbed my face, as if to wipe away sadness and put on a smile, collected my thoughts and got myself prepared to speak.  I explained during my interview that my family and going to the beach make me happy.  I also explained that when I get those two things together, that it really makes me happy.”

This morning before a staff meeting, my boss had the front screen covered in “Be Happy”.  I kind of laughed to myself and sighed in the same breath. I did appreciate the reminder.  Being happy IS a choice.  Right now I just feel overwhelmed with sadness a lot of the time.  It is not for lack of trying.  I will have moments of laughter, but mostly it feels like they are short lived.  At times it feels like that movie “Inside Out” where, “Joy” is the one that is lost or has been misplaced, or went in the wrong direction and is just not around.  I realize it is a season.

I know I am not alone in that, as I get paid to engage with both adults and children on the stresses of life.  It's part of the job, but I also feel like the struggle is real for many and I am not sure how to help myself navigate let alone help others at times.  We are all walking it out together.  Here is what I do know as I said it to my best friend yesterday….  ” I guess when we no longer know the words to speak, we still have God's Word that is alive.”  It is living and active.  It is sharper than a two-edged sword (Hebrews 4:12).  As a Christian, it is what we are to stand on and put our hope in.  God knows everything (1 John 3:20).  Nothing is hidden from Him (Hebrews 4:13).  He sees every single tear (Psalm 56:8) and knows the desires of our hearts (Psalm 37:4).  He is our protection, provision, (Phillipians 4:19, Psalm 91) and our ever present help in time of need (Psalm 46:1).  He is able to do immeasurably more than we could ever hope or imagine (Ephesians 3:20).  He knows the plans He has for us, plans for a hope and a future.(Jeremiah 29:11).  

     Because I know that the joy of the Lord is my strength (Neh 8:10),  I am able to walk through this season.  It might be a step by step, or millisecond by millisecond kind of thing but it is still pressing forward. If  the only joy you can muster up is solely relying on His promises, then HOLD FAST to them. Never done that before??  Try it.  Grasp onto them like you are grasping onto the hem of his garment as He is walking (Matthew 9:20).   Move toward them and keep your eyes in full focus on HIM as you step out of the boat onto the water with the storm raging around you (Matthew 14:28-29).  Watch in these seasons specifically for manna that He provides, and celebrate each morsel you find and let it bring you joy.  I find the more you begin to look for the things to celebrate and be glad for that He provides the easier they are to find. Thank Him for those moments and allow that to fuel your joy. He will not fail you as His resume of faithfulness is without negligence.  He is the same yesterday, today and forever.  Remind Him of his promises and watch Him follow through. I am believing this whole heartedly for my own life so believe it for yours, letting the joy of the Lord be your strength.

Who is Holding Your Arms?

 Almost every day in my classroom, I attempt to teach kids empathy. Sure, we talk about academics too, but in a world that lacks empathy and compassion, but is full of narcissism, insecurity and selfishness they need to understand the differences when they are brought to their table. We also talk about what real insecurity looks like because it often comes out in the form of arrogance, or in bully form no matter ones age. I talk about recognizing who their friends are and identifying whether these people are those who will be around when the weather gets stormy or if they are only sunshine seekers. We talk about the 5 people closest to you and how it can show you your future. It matters who you are giving pieces of yourself to or whom you allow in to sit at your "table".

Although I don't remember where I read this the other day, I liked it and saved a paragraph from it:
“Find yourself a friend who will hold the truth for you when you've lost your grip. Find that friend BE that friend too.
Find yourself a friend who reminds you of who you are when you have forgotten.
Find yourself a friend who says, "I know today is hard, so, so hard, but it will get better I promise".
Find yourself a friend who loves you when you're at your worst and most broken.
Find yourself a friend who holds your hand in the dark.
Find yourself a friend who tells you that depression and anxiety aren't who you are, but something you're walking through.
Find yourself that friend that is a truth holder, and be that friend.”

Who is holding your arms up for you?
With that statement, I've just confused several of you, but bare with me for a moment.
The other day my best friend and I were talking about life's happenings and how sometimes in those really hard moments, we have no idea how we are gonna get through because sometimes those times sap your strength to press forward. I was quickly taken back to a time when I had become a new mom, had been widowed, and lost my dad, all in less than 8 months. Or when I found out my job was closing on top of other financial challenges we already faced with vehicle break downs, and challenges of home ownership. In those moments, where we can't seem to see next steps, it can be scary and we feel incredibly weak.
I'm a strong believer in the fact that, although our focus is to always remain on He and His promises, I believe God ordains people for your life to help hold you in those moments. They are what I like to call "all season" or "all weather" people. When the sun is out they are there to bask in it with you, but when the storm rages they are still around. Not just in the vicinity, but right next to you, without motive. They do this simply because they love you even when you have nothing to offer but yourself.  These people are rare, but such God given gifts.
There is a story in the Bible of Moses who held up a staff in order to defeat an army, but he wasn’t able, in his own strength, to do it alone. He had people who helped hold his arms up in his weariness until the fight was over and had been won, and was victorious by the promises of God. Read Exodus 17:8-16.

    Personally I am incredibly thankful for those God has provided in my life as both friends and family.  We have held one another's arms up on various occasions over the years.  Some times it is in a physical sense but also in prayer, worship, encouragement and straight up truth.  Those who remind us of our callings, remind us of God promises over our lives when we have forgotten.  People who will speak truth in love to you even when it is hard. People who will wipe your tears and hold your pieces when you are broken. Those whom will defend you both to your face and behind your back.  Whom you can call at any hour because you need them.

Don't, however, just seek that friend, BE that friend too, without motive.

I pray today, that God reveals to you your arm holders and that you count it all joy.  Over my own arm holders, I thank God for you by reading and praying over you Philippians 1:3-8

 

Thanksgiving and Prayer

3 I thank my God every time I remember you. 4 In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy 5 because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, 6 being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.

7 It is right for me to feel this way about all of you, since I have you in my heart and, whether I am in chains or defending and confirming the gospel, all of you share in God’s grace with me. 8 God can testify how I long for all of you with the affection of Christ Jesus.

Just Trying to Get to the Other Side

      As I stood in the chill with my best friend, awaiting the Notre Dame football game,  I was taken in by what the crowd was doing.  I began watching a line form and realized something was about to take place.  I have been to many Notre Dame football games but this was the first time I was able to be at the game early enough to see the football team enter the stadium.  The fans had formed a line with an open path for the team to come down and into the stadium.  As we stood there watching and waiting for the team, about 3 people deep from the inside of the open path, many people were simple trying to just get though to the other side.  The line formed was blocking passage to get easily to the other side of the stadium.  It seemed that they kept attempting to get through right where WE were standing. Each time they would come and say "Im just trying to get to the other side", and we would let them pass.   I laughingly teased by best friend about it and said to him, " Dude, what are you doing that makes them think its okay to cross here?" when there were hundreds of other places to cross through.  We both laughed.  It seemed that each time someone asked to pass us and cross over to the other side, the crowd would shift and we would get closer to the inside of the open path. It wasn't long before we were just one person away from the opening of the path. Eventually we watched, in all its celebration, Head Coach Brian Kelly, with his oodles of security surrounding him, lead his team proudly into the stadium to get dressed, ready and warmed up for game time as the crowd cheered them on. 

   As we headed into the game, we both had life heavy on our hearts.  It had been a difficult week of challenges, heart ache, dealing with anxiety, and trying to trust God in the thick of it all.  We had decided that the tickets to the game given to me would be a great distraction to all life had been throwing at us from different directions, and to give our minds a break, for a couple hours, to focus on something else for a bit and find some simple joy in friendship, as we cheered on The Fighting Irish as they beat UNC.

     Later as we headed back to the house we were chatting and trying to encourage each other and remind each other of Gods promises for our lives, and each of our families lives as we were looking to the week ahead.  As it has happened many times in my life before, God uses regular every day events or happening to speak into my minds vision to help me to grasp his reminders, encouragement and to remind me that he has me in the palm of His hand.

  While we were standing there talking, the vision of people "trying to get through to the other side" at the game came to mind.  I simply said to my best friend, "That is what we are also trying to do, just like those dozens of people, just simply "get to the other side" of our mountains."  Those fans at the game were able to cross because they were persistent in moving forward even if it was one baby step at a time.  They had their eyes focused on where their destination was "the other side".  They had to maneuver their way through. It was not a straight or easy path, but they persistently, holding hands,  linked arms and staying close to those like minded, made their way eventually to "the other side" with the whole time having their eyes focused.   I could not ignore the message in all that God had downloaded to me as a reminder.   My prayer that night was that the Holy Spirit would engulf us as we face our challenges in trying to "get to the other side", even tighter than the mind blowing impenetrable security that had observed surrounding Brian Kelly on his way into the stadium. Knowing that the Holy Spirit could do just that.  That all attacks would be thwarted, that any fiery arrows would be deterred and extinguished.  

I'm not sure what you are facing today.  Maybe you are simply feeling weary because you are "trying to get to the other side".  I know it is hard, I am walking it too.  Keep your focus on God, and trust that He will get you there. Hold your thoughts captive. It may feel like you are not making progress, but know that with each guided step, you are not alone and you will arrive at His perfect timing.  He is working all things together for our good.  Know that you are surrounded by the best security He has to offer by dwelling the the shelter of the Most High.  Invite and welcome the Holy Spirit to surround you and be your Comforter at all times.  May any challenges you face only be ones from God to help your faith grow and that all others of the enemy are thwarted, including the chatter the enemy often sends. I pray today that you feel the peace of being surrounded by the Holy Spirit and that it penetrates your soul.   For further encouragement, read Luke 8:22-26 as a reminder to STAND on the promises God gives us.  I need this reminder DAILY.

Hills and Valleys

     

      As I spent some much needed time at the beach with my Bestie this weekend, it never fails that God uses the water to calm my soul. Using nature to speak to me is not uncommon, so why should I be surprised by it right?! Yet He always, always, amazes me. As we were walking the shore line heading toward the pier, I of course, was on the look out for shells. Im a bit shell obsessed so Im always watching. As we walked, I noticed again something I’ve  seen a million times before….all the ripples in the sand from the waves. Ive also felt them under my feet all the way out as far as I could touch. 

Seeing them hit me differently yesterday. It was at that point I felt the Lord speak to me as I watched the waves crash over them. I said to my friend, “They are much like life arent they? Hills and valleys throughout our entire lives.”  I quickly asked him if he would take a picture of it since I didn’t have my phone handy, so the photo credit is all his. We then just stood in silence for several minutes studying all the “hills and valleys” as the waves covered them and moved toward shore.

There is no doubt that in life we are constantly transitioned between hills and valleys. I was quickly reminded of the song “Hills and Valleys”.  I don’t know anyone who is a fan of the valleys, but we cant deny how much we learn when we are there. It is only by being in a valley at our lowest, that we can then recognize and know the fullness of joy of when we are on the mountain top. In both scenarios however we are surrounded by Gods love and grace, and never never alone. 

Interestingly enough you will find these same ripples (hills and valleys) in the dry desert that are made by winds. Don’t take my word, research it for yourself. 

In the Bible, water represents “life”. It also represents refreshment, fertility, birth and cleansing.  Ezekiel 36:25-27

Biblical stories such as Jesus changing water into wine, baptism, and other occurrences serve to emphasize the spiritual and physical significance of water. “Living water” is referenced in the Bible as a gift from God in John 4:10 referring to eternal life.  Christians are baptized with or in water, symbolizing a purification of the soul, and an admission of their faith.

The desert, on the other hand, often symbolizes hardships, famine, obstacles, isolation, or even death. 

Its not that hills and valleys, wherever they occur in life, aren’t difficult, but if Im gonna walk through them, Id much rather do it with the hope of Living Waters flowing over me than alone and isolated in the dry desert trying to make it on my own. Amazingly, the choice is fully ours.  He doesn’t promise things to be easy, but He does promise when we choose Him, and to keep our focus on Him, that He will be with us and never alone. Choose wisely. Jeremiah 29:11 Tells us of the hope we have in the promise He does give for our lives. 

Hills and Valleys (some of the lyrics)

“I've walked among the shadows

You wiped my tears away

And I've felt the pain of heartbreak

And I've seen the brighter days

And I've prayed prayers to heaven from my lowest place 

And I have held the blessings

God, you give and take away

No matter what I have, Your grace is enough

No matter where I am, I'm standing in Your love

On the mountains, I will bow my life

To the one who set me there

In the valley, I will lift my eyes to the one who sees me there

When I'm standing on the mountain aft, didn't get there on my own

When I'm walking through the valley end, no I am not alone!

You're God of the hills and valleys!

Hills and Valleys!

God of the hills and valleys

And I am not alone!

I've watched my dreams get broken

In you I hope again!

No matter what I know

Know I'm safe inside Your hand

On the mountains, I will bow my life

To the one who set me there

In the valley, I will lift my eyes to the one who sees me there

When I'm standing on the mountain aft, didn't get there on my own

When I'm walking through the valley end, no I am not alone!

You're God of the hills and valleys!

Hills and Valleys!

God of the hills and valleys

And I am not alone!”

Song Link: https://youtu.be/p4rRCjrAyCs

Photo credit: Sean D. Mullins

Not Today Satan!!

 Vulnerable and transparent moment here:

     A few weeks ago I was really really struggling with anxiety. It is something that I battle from time to time, but this spring/summer it got really bad with various issues that felt like they popped up one after another, after another…home owner challenges, vehicle challenges, medical challenges, concerns for loved ones, my mom ending up in the hospital etc…  Im not proud of it because what it means is that somewhere along the the lines I let the enemy place a thought that I allowed to seep in and grow. The enemy of our hearts comes to steal, kill, and destroy. He will do it by whatever means we allow…that is the key. We have authority over him because of Jesus. 

Have you ever been in the water trying to get above the surface because you are gasping for air? It felt like that. About the time Id get ready, fighting hard, to resurface for a breath, Id get yanked under again with something else, never able to fully catch my breath. The truth is, that I had the ability to tell what (my thoughts) was allowing me to choke on water to GO in Jesus Name. I was so distracted with circumstances that I couldn’t get my mind to focus and shut out the noise of distraction although I really wanted to. Its almost like I couldn’t shut the sounds of Hell up in my mind.  I got to the point of literally throwing up and being physically ill because of anxiety before it came to a head from a final blow. All of it just before heading out of state to attend a family camp.  I knew I needed that time away, and so did the enemy who was trying so desperately to keep the noise going. It was during that time of quiet I decided I didn’t want to “go back” to that “place”.  Id almost forgotten what that peace really felt like. It was always there for me to obtain, but I have a responsibility to tend to it and receive it.  

Responsibility is two words. Response and ability. If you have the ability to change a situation, what will your response be?  I realized that I had not been using my ability and my response was not good originally. I decided to start choosing differently, but it took me getting into that quiet place to refocus. We have the ability to resist the devil. We have the ability to refuse to listen to him. We have the ability to send him fleeing.  So many people I know are struggling this way. If you belong to God, the devil has no authority over you. He cannot rule your life. He cannot rule your thoughts…unless you invite him in or allow him to stay. The bible says resist him and he must flee. Resist him.

It is your responsibility to resist him. Jesus made a strong statement in John 10. He said His sheep know His voice. He went on to say, His sheep will not listen to, nor follow the voice of a stranger. Only listen to Jesus’ voice. Refuse to listen to or follow the voice of a stranger. The enemy is  relentless. Remember that he doesn’t need a full door open to your mind, but just a sliver of a crack where he can sneak a lie or thought in.   Ive KNOWN these truths for years but he never stops trying to find any crack where he can steal your joy. That IS his primary focus. Its not your family or finances etc…. It IS your joy!!  You know why? The joy of the Lord is your STRENGTH!! If he has your strength then you are easy prey to destroy. It is like little by little he strips your joy until you’re too tired to fight. I felt like Ive been there at times where Ive wanted to give in, fold, just be done…..BUT GOD!!!  God will always send you reminders of His truth. He will prompt people to pray, send reminders or encourage. He will speak to you but YOU need to be listening and willing to use your ability, your AUTHORITY. 

How do we do that? We hold every single solitary thought captive. It is in that moment that you have to determine what to do with that thought. Is it true, noble, right, pure, or lovely, As stated in Philippians chapter 4?  Or is it a fearful thought, one that steals your power and makes you feel like you are unstable and not of sound mind? You will know the difference by taking a look at 2 Timothy 1:7. Whatever the thought, if it’s not of God…shut it down immediately. Practice it as your RESPONSE within your ABILITY. Tell that devil NO!! NOT TODAY SATAN!! 

When You Feel Like The Unchosen

 When I was a kid in elementary school, every recess we chose teams for various games. Typically kickball and football. Nobody ever wants to be that person who is chosen last. Being an athlete and one of the biggest girls in those days, that was not something that usually happened to me with sports. I was actually recruited by a coach to play football on the boys elementary school team way back in the day, but mom said no, and that is another story. Lol. 

Every recess however the picking of teams, no matter the sport, was inevitable. The empathetic part of me always absolutely hated it for those who were chosen last. The pain on their face of being the last one picked. Ugh! That is the reason why, to this day, I will never ever allow that to happen in my classroom when dividing up for something.

     Im not sure about anyone else, but there are times in life we feel “not chosen”. Or maybe, you were chosen to start with, and only later to feel disregarded.  Regardless of the scenario up top, I do know very much what it feels like to not be chosen. Ive had those I called family “unchoose” me. I had a very close friend many many years ago who was put in a position to choose (not by me) and chose to walk away even though it wasn’t necessary, it still happened. I had a biological father who chose alcohol instead, so it felt very much like he didn’t choose me at times. I had potential jobs, auditions etc…. who I had “chosen” in my heart and applied for, not choose me. I could go on and on. 

Whether it was for a job, a position, a friendship or relationship of any kind, or any other situation. The feeling of not being chosen stings and can bring all kinds of feelings or responses of fear, abandonment, rejection, or feelings of inadequacy.  Even thee most confident person in the world can struggle in this area depending on how deep the root goes. It can make you question your vary existence. No one likes rejection. No one especially like to admit these things because it forces you to open up, to show vulnerability, to shed their protective emotional armor. No one wants to express themselves, put themselves, their dreams, their resume, their skills, talents, or fondness of another out there…ONLY to find out their feelings, hopes, dreams, goals etc….are one-sided and or unreciprocated.   

The truth is that we all know that not everyone is required to love us, appreciate us, believe in us, or see what we have to offer.  We all know that there are no guarantees in our transparency or vulnerability. 

Some who have dealt with hurt and rejection in their own childhood, but now grown up adults, feel better temporarily sometimes, by purposely rejecting others. Hence the saying “hurt people hurt people”. Some, however, grow up and become extremely empathetic, loving others hard. 

Either way the wounds of feeling not chosen need to heal or they will remain on going from place to place. 

So where is the hope? How do we maneuver through these crappy moments when they happen. How do we keep ourselves from building up walls of fear around ourselves to protect? Truth is those walls sound good in theory, but also they keep blessings out. Often we may think it is the person, people, or situation that didnt choose us, and that may  very well be. More often, however, it is how our minds perceives or deal with the still open and unhealed wound.

     Imagine a world where everyone chooses us? Sounds good in theory right?!  When would we grow and be stretched? If every audition or try out we nailed? Every person we every thought we wanted to date chose us….yikes, then what?! I remember having the biggest crushes on some people way way back, that I thank the good Lord now that they didn’t reciprocate or it just didn’t work out. Lol whew!  Ive heard a saying “mans rejection is Gods protection”, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t still hurt right?! Maybe some things happened in our lives and we never got clarity on the “why” of it all. The truth is that you may never know.  The hanging on the “why?” will also hold you in place instead of in forward motion. 

We must examine our thoughts when we feel this way….unchosen. The truth is that through the hurt of not being chosen, we are still chosen daily by the One who matters. The One who created us and gave us breath. God himself……He’s been choosing us before we ever filled our lungs with that breath. When I am feeling this way and these thoughts or feelings of feeling “unchosen” rear their ugly head, I try and remind myself of Gods promises and that He goes before us. 

Deuteronomy. 31:8 “The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”  

He has seen every rejection and knows your heartache and not one tear has fallen out of His site. When my children were little and going down a hill or steep path, I would always go before them to make sure it was clear to keep them safe. God does the same for us. He is surprised by nothing. 

 He has a plan and a purpose. There can be growth in the No’s. Or protection in redirection. Jeremiah 29:11 is that reminder. “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” 

Good can come out of not being chosen, but so can pain. We do get to decide how we handle it. What thoughts we allow to rule our mind matter when these times happen. Sometimes a perspective shift is needed. It took me over 40 years to address “not being chosen” by my father when I finally went to counseling over it. As it turns out it wasn’t that he didn’t choose me, he chose me within his realm of capability at the time. That feeling of being unchosen still rises up from time to time when something triggers it. Sometimes it can be the simplest of things; a text not returned, not being included in something random. Again, that enemy though, places those thoughts there. He is trigger happy. We have to take authority over those thoughts. 

When things happen and we don’t have the answer, we have to immediately turn it over to God and trust His perspective. He has the full view of the path he has already walked. Ask Him to protect your mind from the enemy trying to feed to his lies that you aren’t enough. 

What else can we do?  Love people anyway. Love regardless. Love people hard. See the best in them. Give the benefit of the doubt. Seek to understand their root system as it may tell a bigger picture. Pray for people. When you cant find it within you to do so, ask God to help you. AND CHOOSE PEOPLE!! Choose people using your empathy. Choose them with your joy. Choose them daily with a smile or kind word. Choose people in your manners, and in your words of encouragement. Look for people to choose. Step outside your comfort zone. 

Remember what it feels like to not be chosen and be the opposite of that for others. You woke up today, so God chose you for another day, so use it. Be the change you wish to see.