The Struggle

     It seemed like the day I turned 40 my eyes decided to rebel.  I struggled more and more with reading things.  I went to the eye doctor thinking that, over all, my eyes or contact prescription had changed but the eye doctor said my prescription really had not.  He said to me "you just need a pair of reading glasses".  Inside I gasped, but I already had kind of known that this was the answer,  just didn't want to admit it.  He told me that I could just easily go to a store and pick up a pair of the weakest prescription they had and that should do the trick.  I really didn't want to, but eventually I caved.  Now I am much older and I pretty much have a pair in every room of my house, including my purse and at work in my desk.  I only seem to need them when I read or am working on the computer.  I can get away without them, but I have come to the conclusion of "why struggle?".  The battle was really with my admittance that I needed to wear them.  I have contacts because I don't like things on my face, but I also don't like how I look in glasses.  The battle was admitting that I needed them to make my life easier and getting over myself.  As I think about it, again the Lord used this to speak to my heart.  I laughed out loud because He just knows me so well and clearly how my mind thinks.
     It seems that when something is going on in our lives, where we know we are struggling, we either don't want to admit the struggle, admit we need help, or we don't want to release the struggle to actually receive the help, and maybe we are afraid of how we might look if we admit that there is a struggle.
What is going on in your life that you need to release to God?  You know you are struggling, but you are either afraid of admitting the struggle, asking for help, or we are just afraid to let go of it fully.
1 Peter 5:7 comes to mind where He tells us literally, to cast all our cares upon Him because He cares for us.
Then remembering that Ephesians 3:20 and that He is able to more that we could ever ask or think of in our lives.
Then lets not forget that He knows the plans He has for us.  He has plans to prosper and not to harm us, and one to give us a hope and a future in Jeremiah 29:11.
Also on of my favorites; Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your path.

We also need to remember that in our weaknesses He is strong.  I think that so often we forget that.  Our lives become so much easier when we allow Him to fight battles for us.  When we release our cares, be still, and allow Him to do a work because His grace is sufficient for us. Trust Him.

2 Corinthians 12:9

And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My 

strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I 

will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ 

may rest upon me.

Wear Your Own Shoes

  This morning I had a great conversation with my youngest on the way
to school.  She is struggling with feeling like she isn’t enough at times.
She is forever comparing herself with her older sisters
accomplishments.  Her sister who just graduated and busted her tail,
was a top honored multi-sport athlete, 4th in her grad class,
academic high honors, class VP, worship leader, and was a
quiet leader of sorts.  Every inch of what she accomplished,
she worked her tail off to earn. My youngest, who is 6 years
younger is comparing her life to her sisters regardless of the
difference in their ages. I have tried desperately to explain
that comparison is a TRAP.  We’ve had the conversation of
how sometimes God uses us a doors and some seasons we are
the hinges of those noticed doors, and in the majority of seasons,
we are hinges and need to be content with that if that is what
God’s plan is. How God gives us all gifts and talents specific
for us to be used in the plan that HE has for OUR lives, we
can’t compare ourselves with the gifts and talents the He
gives others intent for the plan He has on THEIR lives.

I used the scenario of my two co-workers Cory and Shelley.
 I explained that we are all doing the same job for 3 different
halls in my building and for one part of the day we all work together.
 I shared with her that both of them are gifted and talented in
their own ways and have areas they are strong in. I shared with
her that we work well together because we respect and appreciate
one anothers uniqueness and giftings. We use our differences to
learn from one another and share ideas with each other.
 If I sat and compared myself to both of them and where I lack,
that self conversation would not turn out well - comparison is
nothing other than a trap. . I am not meant to be them and they
are not meant to be me, but together we are an awesome team
complimenting one another’s strengths.

She said, well “My sister left big shoes to fill”, and my
comment back to her was “You are not meant to fill her shoes,
you are only meant to fill your own shoes.”

I don’t think her feelings are far off from many people who battle this.
 I, this year with my new job, took the place of a lady who I am
certain was an amazing teacher, and I applaud that - its awesome.
 I will never be her, I am not meant to be. God wanted me here,
evidently, to use whatever I have to offer in this season.
I am not here to fill her shoes...she took her shoes with her.
 I am meant to be wearing my own and walking out God’s plans
with them.

 When I hear kids singing songs sometimes it makes me laugh.
 One time I asked a girl why she was singing the song THAT
particular way.  I could tell by the way she was singing that it
was not natural for her.  She stated that it was because
that was how _(insert famous person)_sang it.
I said “Girl, do YOU!!  Sing the song, but DO YOU!!
Stop trying to be anyone else BUT YOU!!” She seemed to just
relax and smiled real big.  I think often we need reminders that
it is OK to be ourselves. Almost like we need permission.
If God wanted you to be anyone else he would have made you them.
 He needs YOU!! He needs the gifts and talents He gave
YOU to be used for His plan and nothing more or less.
Comparison is a trap….it’s a losing game. You will
never measure up to something you were never supposed to
compare yourself with.  

When flowers bloom, they don’t pay any attention to the one
next to them, they just bloom looking toward the sun. We also
need to bloom, looking toward the Son.

Don’t even try to fill shoes of someone else because they
weren’t made for you.  He loved you enough to give you your
own pair of shoes…..so walk it out and thank Him for
His provision over your life and ask Him where He needs you
or what He wants you to do...He won’t fail you.

Have You Been Wounded?

    

     This morning, before anyone else was awake, I some how cut my toe and took some skin off.  It bled briefly but I quickly had it under control but it was sore. I still have no idea how I did it.

 Today we decided to go to the state park and do some kayaking at the lake.  I honestly didn't think about my toe until it hit the lake and by then it was too late.  I just figured I would clean it out when I got home and that is exactly what I did.  On the way home I was thinking about what I would need to do to clean it out and God got me thinking about wounds.  Thinking about how we can acquire them at times that catch us completely off guard.  We can do our best to take every precaution but that doesn't mean you will never get wounded in your life.  Sometimes its not what you do or don't do, but what someone else does.  

Regardless of how the wound occurs, its important to get it cleaned out immediately.  If we don't do that, the wound can begin to try and heal, but infection could occur much more easily.  Also, if we wait to try and clean it out, the flushing of cleaning can be much more painful than it would have been had we attended to it right away.  Cleaning means exposing it right away, acknowledging it for what it is... a wound, an injury. Its important to assess the type of wound it is, to determine its depth and what is necessary to get it properly cleaned out, and then treated correctly.  If we ignore any of the above failure to heal properly could occur along with an infection.

So often when we are wounded, we put on a mask leading others to believe that we are fine.  We hide our wounds for fear of embarrassment, or for fear that we may look weak, or for fear of exposure.  Sometimes we don't ask for help or assistance in cleansing or dressing a wound for the same reasons.  We would much rather attempt it ourselves, still risking infection than to admit to anyone that we are struggling.  Sometimes we chase after people or things to try to heal the wound, things that aren't meant to heal or "clean", but seem like a good distraction to ignore that the wound and its pain are even there.  Its temporary. Eventually the wound will HAVE to be tended to.   The longer we go trying to hide it without proper treatment, or try to use other things to distract us from the wound, the worse the infection could get, festering, stealing from us the life of freedom that God intended for us to live.

To properly tend to and cleanse and dress the wound, it has to be exposed.  We have to acknowledge that the wound it self exists, and acknowledge that we may need assistance.  This is not always easy to do and can be incredibly painful and make you feel incredibly vulnerable. Its then possible that we have to also acknowledge that the lack of proper immediate care and the damage it has caused, so it too can be cleansed and addressed.  Often people become so used to their wound that they just become accustomed to it, they make excuses for it as they justify having it.  The wound becomes their identity in some instances.  This does not mean that infection is not occurring, they are just become desensitized to its affects.

Infection, if it sets in, will filter through the body slowly poisoning it. Its much like the root of bitterness taking hold after "injury" and robbing you of the life God intended and instead filtering in fear, anger, distrust, hate, discontentment etc..... into your life.  

Bitterness is what can happen when we choose to dwell on our wounds. Maybe we get into the habit of picturing the one who wounded us and imagining all sorts of bad things we would enjoy seeing come upon that person as payback. Bitterness can even lead to a desire for personal revenge.  

Deep wounds will never be healed if we let ourselves become bitter. In bitterness we want to spread the hurt. Share it with the ones who hurt us. But we do so at the expense of leaving our own wounds untended.  If we allow bitterness to take root, it can poison the rest of your life. 

Ephesians 4:31 says, Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger…

     Forgiveness is difficult when we’ve been hurt badly. The last thing we may want to do is forgive. But remember we’re talking about the healing of deep wounds. And deep wounds require serious treatment.  

Some people think forgiving is simply forgetting. It’s not. It is because of deep wounds are not forgotten that forgiveness needs to occur. Other people think forgiveness minimizes the hurt. Almost as though saying, “I forgive you,” gives the person the right to hurt us again. It doesn’t. It is because of the seriousness of the hurt that forgiveness needs to occur. Forgiveness and prosecution are not mutually exclusive.

The key to forgiveness is to understand how much we have been forgiven by God. Each of us have offended God in a major way because of our sins. But He sent Jesus to give us a way to be reunited with Him. Having faith in what Jesus did for us and accepting his grace, we are forgiven. God has taken leave of our sins in Jesus, so we too should let go of the sins committed against us.

Colossians 3:13  Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

     A deep wound will always stay open if we are unable to forgive. Do you have someone in your life you’ve sworn you’d never forgive? I know that I struggled with this until just a few years ago. Think that over again in your own life.  I know that some of you may be thinking, "but you have no idea what was done to me and how bad it was".  You are right, I don't, I'm not you.  I am not minimizing your wound, its pain or what proper dressing is needed for proper healing, but I can tell you that FORGIVENESS is key in healing. I am simply saying, with God’s help, take a step toward forgiveness. He’s the expert on the matter.

Keep in mind that God never puts a stamp of approval on evil and sin. I think of the story of Joseph after his brothers meant harm to him.  He was thrown in a pit, imprisoned etc... lots of unnecessary wrong and mistreatment still.....  had this to say in Genesis 50:20 You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.

     Many times we don’t know what God wants to do in our lives until after the fact. If you’re going through a deep wounding right now, or you have in the past, before you give up on God, consider what greater purpose He might have for you. He is in the process of bringing out great possibilities through your experiences.

He did that in Joseph’s life, and He’ll do it in yours. Believe in His greater purpose.

I'm pretty sure that in the midst of our wounds occurring we probably aren't able to see the whole big picture of Gods overall plan for our lives, because all we are thinking about is being wounded. Right?! 

In Josephs situation in Genesis, he believed the promise that God would never leave him. So because of that, he didn’t have to have an explanation for each of the trials he faced. He had hope in the midst of the unknown.

If you’re suffering from a deep wound, let me read to you some of God’s clear promises out of

 Romans 8

18 – Yet what we suffer now is nothing compared to the glory he will give us later.

28 – And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.

31 – If God is for us, who can ever be against us?

37 – No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us.

     It's so important to address wounds in our lives as soon as possible so that we can live a life of freedom through Christ, walking the path of peace that God intends for our lives.

I don’t know what deep wound there might be in your life. But I do know that God is with you in the midst of it. And His promises will bring you healing in a way searching for an explanation never can.

Please consider exposing the wounds you have encountered in your life and ask yourself if you need to guard against bitterness?  Is it possible that you need to work toward forgiveness?  Do you need help to see the greater purpose in your pain?  Do you need to live by promises more than explanations? 

God IS the Ultimate Physician and can cleanse and heal any broken place if you are willing to expose it to Him.  He is already aware its there, but He wants your heart to be ready to bring it all to Him for complete cleansing and proper dressing.  Blessings

Dealing With Rejection

    

  The most common phrase I hear people say when someone has dealt with rejection, is when they claim that they "don't care what anyone else thinks!"  Although there could be some truth to this, if we are honest its not 100% truth.  There will always be someone in your life that you care what they think, whether is be a spouse, parent, child, a best friend etc.... even if you never admit it to another soul, there is someone in your life where it matters.

The problem lies when we care too much what people think and begin to adjust WHO we are to gain some sort of acceptance.

Right now I want you to stop what you are doing and raise your hand.....if you are breathing, you have dealt with some sort of rejection in your life. I know that I have.  Sometimes the instinct or defense mechanism of many is to jump quickly and say "not me!" or "I'm fine, it doesn't matter". The quicker I usually see someone react this way, usually its the deeper the wound.  That defense response, which is understandable, is "reacting" to protect you from feeling vulnerable, I get it.   The truth is, however, the quickest way to healing and to move into a life of freedom is to admit that we have all dealt with rejection at some point in life to some degree.

  Lets be honest, rejection hurts.  Why?  Because it attacks the very person that you are.  It attacks the core of our self-esteem and attacks who we are and our very purpose in life.  It has to be one of the most common tools that the enemy uses to try to detour the path that God has laid for our lives in the attempt to try and destroy a persons life and make them feel worthless.  Rejection can cause you to analyze and question every single person you come across, and their motives.  It can cause you to shut people out before they have even had a chance.  It can also cause you to become extremely needy in your actions, because deep down...EVERYONE desires to be accepted.

Let me give you some serious TRUTH:

God never intended us to feel rejected, actually the opposite is true.  He CHOSE us.  He has a PLAN for our lives with a HOPE and a FUTURE.  He truly desires for you to know exactly WHO you are.  He ACCEPTS, LOVES and APPRECIATES you and wants you to live in the fullness of ALL that He has for you, a life of FREEDOM. I mean, after all, it is HE that created you and God doesn't make junk.  God's Word tells us that without being rooted and grounded in the love (and acceptance) of God, that we cannot experience the fullness that God has for us.

And to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with the fullness of God.  Ephesians 3:19

Facebook is good for reminding us of posts from years back through their "Memories" link.  I find it interesting that exactly a year ago today I made a post where I admitted that I had been struggling with my worth for a couple of days, but finally had gotten my head out of a fog to recognize Satan's lies for exactly what they were.....LIES.  Rejection is just that, it attacks your worth....it tells you that you are not worthy.

Rejection has a way of destroying a persons life in a way that few other things can.  The sad thing is that the number of people affected by rejection is staggering.  If we want to be all that God created us to be, overcoming rejection is essential.

The root of rejection can begin in an endless amount of ways and result in fruits of unresolved emotional wounds, if not addressed, can grow and fester into emotional baggage against others, ourselves and God.  A big mistake I see people make A LOT is when rejected by someone else, a spouse, a friend etc......., they tend to try and run out to fill that void, the hurt, the empty feeling that left your heart gaping open. In a quick fix they try to fill it with another person, or fill it with things to try and feel loved or worthy again - another lie from the enemy.  The truth is that another person or things will never be able to fill that hole,.....God is the only one that can truly do that.  Until we allow Him to fill that space and heal the broken places, that space will never be fully filled.

The truth is that we were created to be loved, accepted, and appreciated. Rejection opposes the very nature that God created in us.  Rejection starves a person from love and acceptance that they were designed to receive.  The problem is that when we turn to others or even ourselves for that love and acceptance, we are setting ourselves up for failure and the damage of rejection.  Only God can be trusted as the source of our identity.  We are actually loved with the same love that the Father has for Jesus himself.

John 17:23  I in them, and You in Me; that they may be made perfect in one, and that the world may know that You have sent Me, and have loved them as You have loved Me.

You will never settle rejection issues until you get into your spirit that you are LOVED, ACCEPTED AND APPRECIATED by God.  Dealing with religious strongholds is vital to this process because religion paints God as distant, cold and impersonal.  Its all about RELATIONSHIP.  Bringing your relationship with God into proper perspective is key to overcoming the strongholds of rejection.

Tearing down rejection strongholds is as simple as receiving, with childlike faith, that what God's Word has to say about it and your identity is TRUE. That who you are as a new creature in Christ to a life of purpose and meaning through Jesus Christ.

The Holy Spirit has been faithful to show me that when we feel the hurt or pain that rejection brings, that it is because we have placed our identity into what that person thinks of us.  If our identity didn't depend on what others think of us, we would be immune from the damage of rejection.  THIS is why our identity must be based upon God's Word and what HE says.  Are you building your house upon the ROCK or upon sand?

Wounds of rejection can run deep and there is no doubt that it can cut to the core especially when its from someone you trusted or who was close to your heart.  I have seen its effects from the past in my own life.  Forgiveness is also key.  (I can hear some of your groans).  Forgiving that person who has rejected us is vital.  If we want God's help in the healing process, then forgiveness is not an option.  

I want to encourage you to study what God says about you in the Bible. I always encourage my friends to write down the lies they believe about themselves and combat it with a Bible verse of truth of what God says. 

I personally journal daily whatever is on my heart about anything, but especially when I am struggling with something.  I then find a verse that speaks truth over that situation.  The enemies goal is to fill our head with lies lies lies.....he desperately wants you to buy in.  DON'T DO IT.  Instead, meditate on God's Word and the truth of what He says about you.  The enemy comes to steal kill and destroy by whatever means He can, and getting into your head is the first step.  So fill your head and your heart instead with true, noble, right, pure and lovely things (Philippians 4:8).  Make a habit of it, do it daily and let TRUTH flow from your heart.  Blessings

What About Memories?

     If you are familiar with Facebook at all, you know that there is a "memories" button where they give you to opportunity to see all that you have posted on this day, every year, for as long as you have been on Facebook.  I actually love and appreciate this part of Facebook because it allows me to see photos I had forgotten about or it reminds me of things that happened of days gone by. Some of these memories are good, some not so good and everything in between.
Today as I pulled up my memories section, I had a plethora of memories and the various emotions to go with all of them.   Last year I had photos from a bon fire with my best friends and family the night before and then another set of photos from being out to eat after church for Sunday dinner with both family and friends. I also had one from few years ago, pictures from doing prison ministry with my best friends, and what a blessing that was.  Then I had a post after my best friend lost his beloved pet and the sadness that went with that.  Then another one from being without power for several days after a storm and the dilemmas that go with that, along with the announcement of some shocking celebrity deaths that had occurred that week.
   When I look at the full range of emotions that went along with all that I had posted over the years, I began to wonder about memories.  My first reaction to my own question was that memories are a wonderful thing, but then I began to think about painful memories I have in my life of experiences in my past.  Pains of loss, and hurt.  Pains of rejection, and fear...the not so good ones.
Psalm 103: 1-2
103 Bless the Lord, O my soul;
And all that is within me, bless His holy name!
² Bless the Lord, O my soul,
And forget not all His benefits

 Memory is such a remarkable thing. I can think of no more dreadful, tragic disease than Alzheimer’s or dementia. I have been blessed with a good mind, analytical and perceptive, and I admit I fear losing those cognitive skills more than I fear cancer or heart trouble … not that I am inviting any of them!   My step-dad always uses a funny statement when he can't remember something "Of all the things I have lost, I miss my mind the most".  He says it jokingly, but if you suffer from one of the above mentioned disease's, its not so funny, its a very true statement.

As we get older, its true that we don't have the ability to recall things like maybe we once did.  I joke with my husband that he can remember what tools he needs to get for his motorcycle build, but can't remember where I told him I was going 20 minutes earlier. Ha ha

     The human brain is truly a phenomenal piece of art work that God created.  God gave us the ability to recall a ridiculous amount of information and the ability to categorize it.

When dealing with painful memories, its easy to wonder why God would give us the ability to do this.  The honest truth is....so that we remember. There are so many things we need to remember even though we would like to forget some. What is the saying.... if we do not learn from the past, we are destined to repeat it.  Life lessons are truly important that we remember so we don't repeat it.  They are important to remember so that we can pass the knowledge down to our children so they don't make the same mistakes.  This is one reason I am and have been so open with my children about my life...past and present.

But what about the painful, hurtful, gut-wrenching memories....the ones bathed in tears?  Yes, we remember those as well.

     Holding my husband Todd's hand as he took his last breath and died with his mouth and eyes open as his body became lifeless and the doctor nodding to me that his heart had stopped beating even though they did everything they could to save him.  The numbness that I felt in my own body as if I was living someone else's nightmare, but it was mine.  Death is not a pretty thing....they portray it unrealistically on TV.  I will have that memory forever ingrained in my head...but never the less, its a memory.

Memories are God's gift in so many ways....stick with me on this......  The good ones, the tender ones that make us smile and bring joy, are Gods gift to us to celebrate and remember various people, things and experiences...these are the kinds we strive for.   The tough ones, the ones that bring tears to your eyes and leave an ache in your heart..  God doesn't want us to be paralyzed by these tough memories.  He wants to lead us to healing if we will ask him to.

 Psalm 102:17 says, “God will respond to the prayer of the destitute; he will not despise their plea.”

God can be the healer of your damaged emotions and memories.  Don't let what happened in your past control your present and determine your future. 

 Philippians 3:13: “But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead … I press on.”

While pressing on, I want you to take a look at a different perspective in those tough memories and how they can actually be a gift...maybe not to YOU, but maybe to someone else.

What have I done in my life with that tragic experience....that memory of death ingrained in my brain forever?  I can tell you that I have used that experience of death countless times in my life as I have walked with others through their own losses.  I have let them know, after my experience nearly 18 years earlier, that they indeed are not crazy, with all of the emotions they are walking through, but that the full range of emotions they are dealing with....all normal.  The billion questions that come to ones mind when they wonder how they will even begin to walk through such a devastation.....my memories allows me to love them through it right where they are.  When they feel alone, or judged or confused....my memories allow me to hold their hand and assure them that its okay to go on with life at their own pace, that there is no time frame for grief.  

This brings me to my final thought on memories, the trusting ones.  Along with those tender and tough memories, we cannot forget about the trusting ones.  These are the ones that allow us to remember God's faithfulness in His promises.  

I will never forget in this last year when I was having a moment of fearful panic over a life situation, being unsure of how I was going to get through it.  I remember my best friend calling me, not mincing words for one second, saying it the only truthfully direct, loving, and gifted way OUR friendship allows, "Jen, lets think of all the times that God has failed you???  Oh yea, that's right...there isn't any!!" Ha ha.  I will never forget that sweet slap back to reality across the phone lines that I needed, and he knew it.  I'm so thankful for that memory that brought me back to my own trusting memories.   It is imperative to have trust memories, but they must result in some positive action. Trust memories are designed to inspire us to continue trusting in the Lord. Let me encourage you to study some verses in trusting God.  Here are a couple to start with.

Proverbs 3:5-6  "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge Him and he will make your path straight"

Jeremiah 17:7

“But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord,
    whose confidence is in him.
⁸ They will be like a tree planted by the water
    that sends out its roots by the stream.
It does not fear when heat comes;
    its leaves are always green.
It has no worries in a year of drought
    and never fails to bear fruit.”

     Memory is a great gift from God. Use it in the most positive way that you can. Rehearse your tender memories and laugh, remembering the joys. Recall your tough memories and how God saw you through them, and then relate your trust memories along with those who may need to hear them, to instill trust in them as well. May the past mercies of God serve as an assurance for the present and a hope for the future!

Thank you God for ALL of our memories, may we use them to continue to build YOUR kingdom!

Ladies ONLY: Chocolate Chip or Raisin?

  Have you ever been so hungry that while shopping in a bakery, you grab quickly what you think are homemade chocolate chip cookies, only to get them home, take a bite and realize that they are raisin cookies?  I have done this and let me tell you that I am not a fan of raisins, so I wasn't any too happy when I bit into them.  Had I taken time to look deeper past the surface, stopped and used wisdom in my head, instead of the hunger in my gut, and slowed down a bit, I may not have made such goof up in judgment.
  I have sat back and watched women for years....young women, old women, and every age in between, in a world that promotes women equality and empowerment, and is big on GIRL POWER, try and chase men down this way.  Listen, I have nothing against strong women, but there is something to be said for being pursued.  It seems that some are so hungry to get connected to someone, that the first man that smiles their way or is kind to them, they latch on and obsess over without letting him up for a breath.   You may think he's a "chocolate chip cookie", but he could be "raisin".   I already know what you are thinking....that is a stupid comparison.  Maybe so, and you are entitled to your opinion, but hear me out.  Sometimes we are so "hungry" for a mans attention that we don't even realize what we are doing. Ladies, a real man that is brought up correctly, should be nice to you when acknowledging you.  They should smile, be kind and genuine in their actions and they may even open the door for you.  This is called being polite and respectful.  It is not necessarily a green light for "I'm into you".  
Men are born hunters and providers.  They are created to lead, to be the head of the house. When you lead by initiating everything...every conversation, every moment to connect, and you are around every corner, you take away their chance to lead. 
I have had women over the years say to me about their significant other...."I'm just tired of always being the one to initiate everything".  I then ask...how is or was your dating life?  Did he/ is he pursuing you or was it you pursuing him?  Lots of times it turns out that they had/ have done the pursuing and NOW want to be pursued by the man,  yet the whole relationship thus far has been based on her pursuing him. 
See, you really wanted a chocolate chip, but didn't take time to see that it was really a raisin. Now you are mad because you got a raisin. 
Some of you, still annoyed that I am using a cookie comparison, are rolling your eyes and thinking....
"well he just doesn't know he wants me or that I am "the one" so I need to get his attention to let him know I am here."
Let me tell you something....
if God has a plan for your life, which he does, and His plan is for you to be with this man, whose attention you are trying so desperately to gain, don't you think God will let him in on the info???  Do you think that God would actually leave your "future husband" out of the loop on this?  If he is a man who is truly following after Gods own heart, which I assume is what you would want, don't you think HE would also hear the voice of God?
Maybe he IS the one, but he's also not a raisin fan, and he's taking his time to be sure he's indeed getting chocolate chip instead of raisin.  Maybe he's looking for peanut butter instead.  If that is the case, he's gonna wait on God to make sure he's got what he is looking for.  God works in His timing...the perfect timing, so trust it.
I get that the cookie analogy is starting to crumble....but you get the idea.  I am all about being straight forward.  You can let a man know you are interested, but then chill.  Let him pursue you. If it is indeed Gods plan, he will not fail to reveal it amazingly.   Guys aren't stupid...at least any guy worth your time shouldn't be.  They may see your interest but aren't feelin' it so they don't initiate.  They may be nice to you, but again, they may just be being polite, please don't mistake the two.  When your pursuit becomes over the top, its seen as neediness, and THAT, ladies and gentlemen, is not a turn on for any gender. Also again, its YOU pursuing him.  
So you may be asking "Then what can I do?".  First, take a deep breath.  Then look in the mirror and say this;
God did not make a mistake when creating me, I was fearfully and wonderfully made.  He has a plan for my life, one with a hope and a future, and He has created me ENOUGH. 
Then refocus your pursuit on God, on His complete direction for your life.  Focus on the gifts and talents He has given you.  Focus on being the daughter of the King and how precious you are in His sight. Keep running your race that He has marked out for you and do it with joy.  You should be running that race so focused on God that you may actually all of a sudden notice  coming up beside you, the man He has planned for you also running His race, part of which may be pursuing you. 
Don't lose heart Beautiful....He has not forsaken you, but let His plan unfold in His timing, for it is PERFECT.

    

Clean Slate

     Being a teacher as long as I have, you figure out that you will always have some “problem students” or those that are more challenging, simply because they battle anyone who is in authority over them.

Not to long ago, I had someone say to me “I dont know why you are so nice to them, they have no respect for anyone and Im tired of dealing with them, but EVERYDAY you are nice to them?!”  I simply said, without hesitation;  “I believe everyone should start with a clean slate regardless of what happened the day before”.

They  just shook their head in disbelief. I really did understand the reasoning and frustration behind the comment, but I still believe what I believe. The comment did bother me a bit, not personally, but what that person said just didn’t settle right in my Spirit....then in true “Jen fashion” I began to dissect my thoughts to better try and understand what I was feeling...then it hit me and I smiled to myself.

Lamentations 3:22-23

Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed,

    for his compassions never fail.
²³ They are new every morning;
    great is your faithfulness

Thank God, these are my Lords promises.  Thank God He allows us to fail, day after day after day and yet still loves us and still treats us with respect.  This doesn't mean He agrees with our choices or even that He is thrilled with them.  It doesn't mean that we don't drive Him nuts when we don't choose His wisdom, and that we don't break His heart when we choose poorly. What it does mean is that He continues to love us, continues to wipe our tears after we fail, continues to pick us back up and dust us off after we fail to heed his wisdom.  His mercies NEW every morning.  Should we not walk and treat others with the grace that He gives us?  Should we not love people RIGHT WHERE THEY ARE????
If He loves us in such a beautiful way, shouldn't we treat others with the same grace?