Pressing On With Your Thoughts....First!

     One thing I have learned in this quarantine time frame is the constant need to refocus when my brain starts to go one direction or another.  I remember sitting on my best friends deck after a full day of biking with our families and finally getting to chill out and enjoy the sunset.  I remember telling him that the weather seems to have a serious affect on my moods. When it is sunny, I am all about smiling, getting outside, being active, soaking in the rays and the peace, and spending time with family.  On the rainy days, however, I just wanna wrap up, hibernate, and I'm bummed out a bit, with a side of being susceptible to depressed thoughts.
     I coached athletes for years.  Any good coach knows that a physically conditioned athlete is a good athlete, but a great athlete comes from those who are also conditioned mentally.  How you set you mind, sets your drive, sets your attitude and can launch a mediocre athlete into one of greatness. I used to tell my varsity teams that  "I would take a group of mediocre athletes with great attitudes willing to bust their tails, over tremendously gifted athletes with crappy attitudes - ANY DAY!!!"  Why??  Because attitude matters, and honestly, not just on the field.
As a teacher and an extrovert, I can tell you that remote teaching along being isolated from people I love has been HORRIBLE.  I did not handle it well at first at all, my closest friends and family can tell you that. Remote teaching is not meant for long term, it is flat out hard for everyone.  I have honestly put in double and triple the hours I would in a normal week.  It took my husband to remind me that it was okay to set boundaries for myself in my hours. We were given  9-3pm availability hours via phone and email, but I struggle with sticking to those, I always have because there is so much to do.  If you are a teacher that understands that education is really about relationships...that kids actually learn amazingly with a teacher they connect with, then you will understand that I will do anything to help my students be successful.  This includes trying to help them at all hours and just be there for them to listen, to explain and re-explain the same thing a million times over if needed.  That, however, along with the isolation from my loved ones...was wearing on me and on my mood.  Now add the crappy weather and you've got the perfect storm for disaster of sadness and of bad attitude. Why?  Not the weather, not the circumstance...but how I set my mind, and how I set my thoughts.

Philippians 4:8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

  My daughter, the last few weeks, has been given the opportunity to train with the high school cross country team.  Although not meeting in person but though video and email etc...  she has been training and adding to the team mileage tracker.  She is an athlete, but this is new for her so she is working at conditioning to run miles at a time.  It takes patience.  It takes good attitude.  One day when she was at the end of a 4 mile run (the farthest she had ever been so far), she verbally ripped her sisters head off wanting to know where the "finish line was" because she was exhausted, but we kept encouraging her until she was done.  We laugh about it now.   In true mom fashion I stood and watched her as she crossed into our driveway with her sister and screamed my head off cheering her on. When she realized she did it and how far she had actually run, she was shocked and so proud.  In her training, although I can no longer keep up with her, I have tried to teach her mind set. I've tried to teach her that attitude matters, that what you focus on matters...the pain or how far you have come?  She is not one to be known with a bad attitude at all, her teachers and past coaches would attest to that, but you know when you are tired and cranky, or exhausted and thirsty, etc.... you have to check your thoughts A LOT, and press on.  Today I had her run an extra 2 laps past the 2 miles she had already run, that she was not planning on. She is fighting being sore.  She was not happy about it, but she powered through which is exactly what I wanted her to do. In her tired jog I wanted her to think about what she was thinking on and refocus if needed. Those times are not only physical growing times, but MENTAL growing times. 

   In this quarantine I have really had to check myself.  I have had to really just look to God and say  HELP ME...SHOW ME THE GOODNESS, because I can't see it!

Once we begin to focus on the goodness of God, the negative will fall away.  We need to train our minds, no matter who you are or what you do, to think only on good things. 

Today, as you go about your day, refuse to focus on what you did not finish, what you felt wasn't enough, the pain of failing or what felt like failing, or what could have been better.  Instead, set your mind and thoughts on your accomplishments, where you've been and how far you've come.  Do not look at your shortcomings, celebrate your achievements.  Instead of beating yourself up for what you didn't do, thank God for all He helped you do, see, or focus on, and for all He has done.  Whatever is good and lovely...think on that and press on.  Its truly a game changer. 

Being Exposed....Trust The Process

     If you know anything about me, you know I am obsessed with shells and the beach etc..    I love shells because they are so unique and they tell a story.  I've written about shells before because God uses them to speak to my heart, because of my fascination with them, and remind me that He works all things together for our good for those who love Him, according to Romans 8:28.
     This last weekend I was with my best friend, my nephew and my daughter.  We were bike riding and stopped at an area by a local river.  Everyone began to pick up rocks and start skipping them on the water trying to see how many skips on the water we could get.  This went on for awhile as we enjoyed the beautiful weather and scenery.  Pretty soon my best friend, who is familiar with that area walked over and handed me, what I though was going to be rocks.  When I looked at the handful of shells my mouth fell open.  I had no idea you would be able to find shells on this particular river.  He pointed out an area to me that they were scattered.  I was shocked.  I then teased him about a time when our families were somewhere, and he had told me I would find shells and did not...not a one.  Told him that "This was your way of making it up to me right?!", followed by laughter and him reminding me I had been in the wrong place is the reason I didnt find any.  
  Now that I knew what to look for  in this current location, I began to spot various pieces of shells...big shells.  At one point we both began digging in the dirt like little amatuer archiologists.  Although we were not aware until a few minutes later we were both doing the same thing and digging at what appeared to be LARGE shells for that area. I got the one I was digging out at first, and it was a broken, but large piece of a side of a shell.  He continued to dig and pretty soon he said, "I think I have a whole shell, with both sides intact".  That indeed got my attention.  Sure enough, he pulled up a large and intact shell that was covered in dirt, immediately followed by him saying "There might be a dead animal in there".  He then quickly handed it to me.  It was heavier than what I expected, and I was sure there was something gross inside. 

I took it to the water and washed it off, and whatever had been inside was now gone and rinsed out.  I only peeked through the hole that was on the side, and you could see light shining through the other side seeing that it was now clear.  It wasn't until I got home that I actually opened it up and peered at it.  What laid before me was this beautiful pearly inside that was smooth and shiny.  It was gorgeous.  From the outside you could see the knicks on it, the layers that had worn away, with some still peeling.  The dirt and scratches were evident, but what was the start of the pearly beautiful surface starting to show itself was also there.  The inside though.....WOAH! Lets just say the photos I have do not begin to do justice to its pearly elegance.
    Again, the Lord used this visual to remind me of the work He does in us.  His goal for our lives is to live in the freedom that He sent His son to die on the cross for.  
Shells get tossed around in the water, waves, and weather.  This one in particular had gotten buried on the shore, and when found was full of dirt and deadness until it was rinsed out.  
Sometimes in our own lives we deal with circumstances, of our own doing or someone elses, that causes us to be tossed and turned, or feel buried.  It can cause scratches, brokeness, and dirt in our lives that we have to deal with......eventually.  
Last summer I went to counseling because I was ready to deal with some yuck that had been forced in an area of my life years ago, and had not been dealt with. Instead, I had buried it.   It was affecting me deeply and how I looked at myself, as well as how I responded to those I love. It caused me to believe lies that the enemy had fed me for years because of the dirt placed there. 
 I can look back though, and watch how the Lord used that time of tossing and turning I had been through, to peel away layers and refine me. Remember, He works all things together for our good (Romans 8:28).  I, however, still had some work to do to get some things on the inside cleaned out that had been buried.  I had to get to a point of being willing to be cracked open, and rinse out some of the dirt and the dead things that still existed and affected other parts of me.  Im not going to lie, it was hard and painful at times, and hurt to crack that back open and expose it, but it was necessary and needed to be dealt with.  In order to get to the place where we are existing in the freedom God intends, we need to be willing to be cracked open and expose the yuck that may exist, and deal with it.  Sometimes its dirty, extremely unpleasant, and takes some scrubbing.....but the inside....woah...the beautiful inside.... ;)  
Some people may look at a shell and only see the peeling, dirty, scratched up, weathered, and knicked up parts.  Others, however, can see right past that, straight to its pearly essence that God created and intended.  It is all in the perspective in which you are looking - the eye of the beholder.  People will only see from their level of perception.
  Every person has dealt with circumstances and may have scars, and stories of how it all came to be.  Some people will be in your life and will only see your circumstances, battles, faults, stuggles, or imperfections, but God will send people to cross your path who will see the beauty behind all of that.  They will see the pearly shiny YOU, all along, that God created you to be. You will not have to convince them of your worth. They will cheer you on, and love you through the peeling, cracking open, exposing of the yuck.  All the while encouraging you through the cleansing and scrubbing, as they watch God heal you, as you emerge into more and more of what they have always been able to see......who God created you to be...the treasure of you. 
What is holding you back?  Is there anything keeping you from emerging into the freedom that God created for you? Are there areas that need exposing and cleaned out?  It's not that God doesn't already see it, nothing is hidden from Him. The cleansing process can be messy and difficult, but His resume of faithfulness in your life is THICK.  Ask God to show you the broken places, the places that need irrigating and cleansing, and trust the process. He will not fail you.  

"He has made everything beautiful in its time." Ecc. 3:11

“Behold, I am making all things new.” Rev. 21:5

"Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” Matt. 11:28-30