Today as I pulled up my memories section, I had a plethora of memories and the various emotions to go with all of them. Last year I had photos from a bon fire with my best friends and family the night before and then another set of photos from being out to eat after church for Sunday dinner with both family and friends. I also had one from few years ago, pictures from doing prison ministry with my best friends, and what a blessing that was. Then I had a post after my best friend lost his beloved pet and the sadness that went with that. Then another one from being without power for several days after a storm and the dilemmas that go with that, along with the announcement of some shocking celebrity deaths that had occurred that week.
When I look at the full range of emotions that went along with all that I had posted over the years, I began to wonder about memories. My first reaction to my own question was that memories are a wonderful thing, but then I began to think about painful memories I have in my life of experiences in my past. Pains of loss, and hurt. Pains of rejection, and fear...the not so good ones.
Psalm 103: 1-2
103 Bless the Lord, O my soul;
And all that is within me, bless His holy name!
2 Bless the Lord, O my soul,
And forget not all His benefits
As we get older, its true that we don't have the ability to recall things like maybe we once did. I joke with my husband that he can remember what tools he needs to get for his motorcycle build, but can't remember where I told him I was going 20 minutes earlier. Ha ha
The human brain is truly a phenomenal piece of art work that God created. God gave us the ability to recall a ridiculous amount of information and the ability to categorize it.
When dealing with painful memories, its easy to wonder why God would give us the ability to do this. The honest truth is....so that we remember. There are so many things we need to remember even though we would like to forget some. What is the saying.... if we do not learn from the past, we are destined to repeat it. Life lessons are truly important that we remember so we don't repeat it. They are important to remember so that we can pass the knowledge down to our children so they don't make the same mistakes. This is one reason I am and have been so open with my children about my life...past and present.
But what about the painful, hurtful, gut-wrenching memories....the ones bathed in tears? Yes, we remember those as well.
Holding my husband Todd's hand as he took his last breath and died with his mouth and eyes open as his body became lifeless and the doctor nodding to me that his heart had stopped beating even though they did everything they could to save him. The numbness that I felt in my own body as if I was living someone else's nightmare, but it was mine. Death is not a pretty thing....they portray it unrealistically on TV. I will have that memory forever ingrained in my head...but never the less, its a memory.
Memories are God's gift in so many ways....stick with me on this...... The good ones, the tender ones that make us smile and bring joy, are Gods gift to us to celebrate and remember various people, things and experiences...these are the kinds we strive for. The tough ones, the ones that bring tears to your eyes and leave an ache in your heart.. God doesn't want us to be paralyzed by these tough memories. He wants to lead us to healing if we will ask him to.
Psalm 102:17 says, “God will respond to the prayer of the destitute; he will not despise their plea.”
God can be the healer of your damaged emotions and memories. Don't let what happened in your past control your present and determine your future.
Philippians 3:13: “But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead … I press on.”
While pressing on, I want you to take a look at a different perspective in those tough memories and how they can actually be a gift...maybe not to YOU, but maybe to someone else.
What have I done in my life with that tragic experience....that memory of death ingrained in my brain forever? I can tell you that I have used that experience of death countless times in my life as I have walked with others through their own losses. I have let them know, after my experience nearly 18 years earlier, that they indeed are not crazy, with all of the emotions they are walking through, but that the full range of emotions they are dealing with....all normal. The billion questions that come to ones mind when they wonder how they will even begin to walk through such a devastation.....my memories allows me to love them through it right where they are. When they feel alone, or judged or confused....my memories allow me to hold their hand and assure them that its okay to go on with life at their own pace, that there is no time frame for grief.
This brings me to my final thought on memories, the trusting ones. Along with those tender and tough memories, we cannot forget about the trusting ones. These are the ones that allow us to remember God's faithfulness in His promises.
I will never forget in this last year when I was having a moment of fearful panic over a life situation, being unsure of how I was going to get through it. I remember my best friend calling me, not mincing words for one second, saying it the only truthfully direct, loving, and gifted way OUR friendship allows, "Jen, lets think of all the times that God has failed you??? Oh yea, that's right...there isn't any!!" Ha ha. I will never forget that sweet slap back to reality across the phone lines that I needed, and he knew it. I'm so thankful for that memory that brought me back to my own trusting memories. It is imperative to have trust memories, but they must result in some positive action. Trust memories are designed to inspire us to continue trusting in the Lord. Let me encourage you to study some verses in trusting God. Here are a couple to start with.
Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and he will make your path straight"
Jeremiah 17:7
“But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord,
whose confidence is in him.
8 They will be like a tree planted by the water
that sends out its roots by the stream.
It does not fear when heat comes;
its leaves are always green.
It has no worries in a year of drought
and never fails to bear fruit.”
whose confidence is in him.
8 They will be like a tree planted by the water
that sends out its roots by the stream.
It does not fear when heat comes;
its leaves are always green.
It has no worries in a year of drought
and never fails to bear fruit.”
Memory is a great gift from God. Use it in the most positive way that you can. Rehearse your tender memories and laugh, remembering the joys. Recall your tough memories and how God saw you through them, and then relate your trust memories along with those who may need to hear them, to instill trust in them as well. May the past mercies of God serve as an assurance for the present and a hope for the future!
Thank you God for ALL of our memories, may we use them to continue to build YOUR kingdom!
