I have sat back and watched women for years....young women, old women, and every age in between, in a world that promotes women equality and empowerment, and is big on GIRL POWER, try and chase men down this way. Listen, I have nothing against strong women, but there is something to be said for being pursued. It seems that some are so hungry to get connected to someone, that the first man that smiles their way or is kind to them, they latch on and obsess over without letting him up for a breath. You may think he's a "chocolate chip cookie", but he could be "raisin". I already know what you are thinking....that is a stupid comparison. Maybe so, and you are entitled to your opinion, but hear me out. Sometimes we are so "hungry" for a mans attention that we don't even realize what we are doing. Ladies, a real man that is brought up correctly, should be nice to you when acknowledging you. They should smile, be kind and genuine in their actions and they may even open the door for you. This is called being polite and respectful. It is not necessarily a green light for "I'm into you".
Men are born hunters and providers. They are created to lead, to be the head of the house. When you lead by initiating everything...every conversation, every moment to connect, and you are around every corner, you take away their chance to lead.
I have had women over the years say to me about their significant other...."I'm just tired of always being the one to initiate everything". I then ask...how is or was your dating life? Did he/ is he pursuing you or was it you pursuing him? Lots of times it turns out that they had/ have done the pursuing and NOW want to be pursued by the man, yet the whole relationship thus far has been based on her pursuing him.
See, you really wanted a chocolate chip, but didn't take time to see that it was really a raisin. Now you are mad because you got a raisin.
Some of you, still annoyed that I am using a cookie comparison, are rolling your eyes and thinking....
"well he just doesn't know he wants me or that I am "the one" so I need to get his attention to let him know I am here."
Let me tell you something....
if God has a plan for your life, which he does, and His plan is for you to be with this man, whose attention you are trying so desperately to gain, don't you think God will let him in on the info??? Do you think that God would actually leave your "future husband" out of the loop on this? If he is a man who is truly following after Gods own heart, which I assume is what you would want, don't you think HE would also hear the voice of God?
Maybe he IS the one, but he's also not a raisin fan, and he's taking his time to be sure he's indeed getting chocolate chip instead of raisin. Maybe he's looking for peanut butter instead. If that is the case, he's gonna wait on God to make sure he's got what he is looking for. God works in His timing...the perfect timing, so trust it.
I get that the cookie analogy is starting to crumble....but you get the idea. I am all about being straight forward. You can let a man know you are interested, but then chill. Let him pursue you. If it is indeed Gods plan, he will not fail to reveal it amazingly. Guys aren't stupid...at least any guy worth your time shouldn't be. They may see your interest but aren't feelin' it so they don't initiate. They may be nice to you, but again, they may just be being polite, please don't mistake the two. When your pursuit becomes over the top, its seen as neediness, and THAT, ladies and gentlemen, is not a turn on for any gender. Also again, its YOU pursuing him.
So you may be asking "Then what can I do?". First, take a deep breath. Then look in the mirror and say this;
God did not make a mistake when creating me, I was fearfully and wonderfully made. He has a plan for my life, one with a hope and a future, and He has created me ENOUGH.
Then refocus your pursuit on God, on His complete direction for your life. Focus on the gifts and talents He has given you. Focus on being the daughter of the King and how precious you are in His sight. Keep running your race that He has marked out for you and do it with joy. You should be running that race so focused on God that you may actually all of a sudden notice coming up beside you, the man He has planned for you also running His race, part of which may be pursuing you.
Don't lose heart Beautiful....He has not forsaken you, but let His plan unfold in His timing, for it is PERFECT.
