When I love others the way God wired me to, that love runs passionately deep. Those closest to me know that if I love you, I will do it with a passion that means that I would go to the ends of the earth to help you if you need me, and I will fiercely protect you, even if it means being gashed open in the process. Love is always a risk no matter the level we hold it at, there is always a risk of getting injured. I'm talking about ANY kind of love. Between lovers, between the best of friends or family, or those we are simply compassionate about. When you love, each time you love, you give part of yourself away.
As I was on my way to to work this morning, my heart, feeling slightly nicked open, was not ready to take on the day and the tears, not yet flowing, were sitting right on the brim. On my CD player, my best friend Sean singing "Give myself away". Ive written about this song before, from a different angle, but again it brought me to tears because my heart was already tender. Sean is a soul that the Lord uses often to speak into my life and into that of my family, he is truly part of OUR family. He knows my heart and the calling on my life, and has spoken truth to me on more occasions that I can count. So to hear Sean's voice again singing this song with my injured heart, was Gods way of using Him one more time in my life and the tears began to flow as God's truth fell from his lips. In this song is a message about how God calls us to give ourselves away to be used for His glory, to build His kingdom, for a bigger purpose. In doing so successfully, it often means setting ourselves aside keeping in mind that He has a plan that is more than we could ever hope or imagine.
The truth is that when we love people the way God intended, sometimes we get hurt in the process by the very humans we extend our love to...because we are just that - human. This is why we need Jesus. So what do we do? Do we then run and close ourselves off?
It is said that there are two ways to deal with pain. One is to shut your heart off so it won’t be hurt; the other is to open it bigger to allow more love to find it.
Amazingly, your heart is a muscle. It has inherent strength that can be made stronger, like every other muscle, simply by using it.
Choose to use your heart as the wall in which to protect you. Confused? Listen close.... Even when hurt, continue to build the heart muscle from use. Yes, it feels weakened by the sting, but it’s still capable of all the strength it had before.
A strong, loving heart is more prepared to absorb hurtful blows than weak attempts to hide it from the world. Even a broken heart continues to feed the body.
Grow your heart by learning from the pain and continuing on. Continue on as before, loving as deeply as you can, especially when you want to run and hide. The more you love, the more strength your heart retains and builds. Love. Learn. Love more.
Imagine your heart as a castle. When something approaches, let it in just as a castle’s drawbridge lets in its guests. Let your still loving heart’s strength protect you from emotional attacks, catapulting letdowns, and poisonous relationships, like the stone walls of those castles.
You see, walls are built stone by stone. Let your stones be loving acts both given and received, instead of compounding defense mechanisms. Give and be grateful for receiving each piece of strength to your wall, knowing there’s still a drawbridge.
You may be saying "But I loved them dearly and still got hurt!" No matter how much someone hurts you, you can never un-know that love. Your ability to love is unchanged, it just comes down to whether you are willing to do it or not, to let down the drawbridge.
Those that I meet now, that approach my castle, are greeted and welcomed with the love instilled in me when I allowed Jesus to come in and make me new. Does it make me vulnerable? Definitely. Sure, some people may aim to hurt, or do so unintentionally, but they have no idea the strength they’re up against.
Love after love, my heart becomes stronger. With each loss, a new layer of muscle rebuilds over the last. With a stronger heart, a stronger love, and a new, different, more beautiful cycle is born. With each situation we encounter we still have a choice to make each time, - draw bridge up or draw bridge down. It can sometimes be very difficult to walk through when making that decision.
So, in all honesty, what was the point of the defense mechanism walls? Nothing. They only served to contain, block, and otherwise stifle the beautiful strength the heart could build, and otherwise, steal your future joy. The more you compound your defenses, the more you stifle your heart. The longer you wait to love, the more your heart rusts. Conversely, the more you simply love, the stronger your heart-wall becomes and the more able you are to absorb the hurt and build again.
I guess that is part of giving ourselves away so that others can know that love, the love of Christ. It is possible that when you love someone that way, they have never felt it before until they met you. Even in the end, if you walk away from a situation, whatever it is, they can't, no matter how hard they try, "Un-Know" that love. Its a seed planted, maybe meant for someone else to come along and water etc... but when that love is true, real and raw authentic Christ like love, they will not be able to forget it. God will use it for Kingdom building, but we can't close ourselves off. May I encourage you to go ahead and make a mental note of lessons learned, but also to love even more fiercely with every God given opportunity, and not close off or harden your heart by closing the draw bridge. Blessings
