Under Pressure

     A close friend and I were having a conversation one day, and he said to me "Leading worship is a lot of pressure, I'd rather preach".  This comment made perfect sense to me because he IS called to be a pastor so the anointing is clearly there in his life for that, without question.  He wasn't, in any way, saying that being a pastor didn't have its pressures, because it does, just that he felt MORE equipped to do that, than to lead worship.  Like many things do in my life, this got the wheels in my head turning and thinking about pressure.  The Lord often uses these things in my life to speak to me and use them to minister. In true Lord fashion, He woke me in the night to speak to my heart.
 It is true that each calling on a Christians life has pressures, its own unique pressures.  In my own life I feel I have been called to do both, worship lead as well as minister the Word in maybe more non-traditional settings and have done just that, so although there IS definitely pressure in both,  I know that God has fully equipped me. When I am worshiping, I like to get to a place where its not about singing songs, in or out of key, who is leading, or how many parts there are etc....I like to think of the focus as if you are getting naked before the Lord, and just laying it all down.  The Lord is very aware of what our bodies look like under all the layers of clothes, right down to the dimples, the rolls, all crevices, and even the stinky places ha ha, so he is not surprised by it because nothing is hidden from God.  But its when we CHOOSE to lay it down on purpose,letting go of ourselves,  not worrying about the details or who might be staring but just wholeheartedly laying it out being incredibly vulnerable, being raw, real and free in your worship.  From that point He can do what He needs to do because you have been an open willing vessel.    If you are "worshiping" with the focus and expectation of it being for anyone or anything BUT the Lord, then there IS added additional pressure, because I am assuming that everyone else has never seen you naked and vulnerable, and then its just awkward.
  God has reminded me that there are some really cool things that are created under elevated heat and pressure, like gemstones.  All kinds of gemstones are created by pressure and each one unique.  If God has made me a diamond, then I only have to be just that...a diamond.  If I try to be a sapphire or an emerald then I am going to be dealing with a lot more added pressures that God did not intend because I was created as a diamond.  I don't need to try and be something I am not, just let go and be who God made me to be in MY calling.  By doing just that, He is able to, in my raw and real state, continue to polish me and shine through me as intended, beaming His light into all the world.  

I Don't Care What Others Think - Really?!

     I've had the privilege of speaking on this very topic to hundreds of youth in the Midwest, but this topic does not apply to just youth.  If you are breathing, then it applies to you.  The Lord has brought it back upon my heart to write about more and so here I am at my computer.
I hear a lot about this these days, from adults and teens alike...."I don't care what anyone thinks", and in my observation, the more and the louder the screaming on this, the more that person is trying to convince themselves rather than others.  There, BAM, I said it!  Painful but true.  Let me give you a minute to let that soak in.  The truth about that statement, is that the very thing you scream that you "do not need" typically consumes you.  If it were a good thing, I'd tell you to get me a ladder and I would help you shout it from the rooftops.
Someone continuously screaming this is like the heroin addict who says that they can quit anytime they want to.  The truth is that even entire industries like fashion for example, exist because people care what other people think.  Its true that someone can say that they are dressing for themselves, but is it the whole truth?  I do think teens struggle in this area more than adults but its not just fashion we seek approval on it can be hair, music, even the way we talk....
Remember back in high school when the strive was to be popular?  I admit not really remembering caring that much whether I was or wasn't, but at some point it crosses everyone's mind, it did mine too.  Its reality.  So much so, that entire movies are made out of whether one is popular or is focused on as the nerd.  It's up to each persons perception however, on what they deem popular.  To this day, I never felt I was popular, but it depends on who in my high school I talk to, and their own perception.  Simply because I was an athlete, I was deemed "popular" by some, but as an athlete I didn't feel popular...I looked at another crowd as the "popular crowd".  Funny how that works and is all in ones perception.  The very thing we may strive for, we may never obtain because the grass always seems greener over yonder.
Caring, however, about what other people think isn't about popularity, its about BELONGING.
No offense to my cheerleader friends, but lets think back again to high school.  If a girl hates cheerleaders, she wants to be seen different than them - but still seen.  The desire to be associated or disassociated from anyone or anything is to STILL care what people think.  (let that one sink in a minute.)
     If a person gets a reputation for caring what other people think, they are called desperate, insecure, shallow, or mindless.  Today, however, people are trying desperately to be seen instead with the reputation that says "I don't care what you think"..... THE IRONY!!
When someone says "I don't care what anyone thinks about me", its never true.  What they may mean is that they don't care what a particular person thinks, that they don't care what YOU think about this issue, OR that you don't have all the facts about me so your opinion is irrelevant or incorrect.  BUT to say we don't care what ANYONE thinks is just not true, we all do.  Belonging is a powerful motivator.
Caring what other people think is NOT A WEAKNESS or insecurity.  (I am hearing gasps around the room right now).  It is born for the  need for relationship, and it IS a need.
God saw that it was not good for man to be alone.  Our primal desires for love, affirmation, validation, and friendship are reflections of that truth.  Caring what people think is not a character flaw that makes you egocentric or insecure, it is what makes you HUMAN.
     There IS a middle ground between obsession with being noticed, and total disregard for your reputation.  We need to stop wearing the whole "I DON'T CARE" thing like its a badge of honor.  Not caring doesn't make you stronger, it actually just makes you lonelier.
Lets give people the benefit of the doubt however, maybe the notion that some peoples opinions should carry more weight than others is entirely too much to handle, but personally that is how it works in my world.  All opinions are NOT created equal.
We all know that EVERYONE has an opinion, but we need to look at those opinions like life and death voices.  You get to choose whose opinions to listen to, and when.  You are allowed to listen to what is true and also to ignore what isn't.  Life voices will speak truth, and encourage you in your calling, while death voices with try to hold you back, and are usually full of confusion and untruths.
We have to always weigh out opinions because they are a dime a dozen, but they do not all weigh they same and weighting them incorrectly can cost you.
 With God, yourself, spouse, parents, children, friends, acquaintances,  and strangers etc...
 God is the ONLY ONE dealing with ALL the information.  I am thankful constantly that He looks upon the heart (Samuel 16:7).  People, on the other hand collect information from: your appearance, personality, choices, the company you keep, your social media posts etc...and whatever else measure of worth that seems important at the time.
Only God knows every minute of every single day.  Hebrews 4:13 states that "Nothing in all creation is hidden from God's sight.  Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account."  Only God knows your innermost thoughts according to Psalms 139:1-4  "You have searched me, Lord, and you know me.  You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar.  You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways.  Before a word is on my tongue you, Lord, know it completely."
Only God knows every hurt, motivation,  or experience that has shaped you in anyway.   Only God is working with all the information.
Romans 2:2 states that "Now we know that God's judgement against those who do such things is based on truth".
HE SEES ME AND HE SEES YOU!!  It will be God that you stand before ONLY...the only ONE who really knows you.  You are the apple of His eye and His word is final.  If He says you need to be saved - you do, if He says you are forgiven - you are, if he say you are pure and lovely - you are.  Only Gods opinion matters!!
You know more about yourself than any human being. You have a lifetime of thoughts, feelings and experiences that you have probably never shared.  A persons heart can be a deep ocean of secrets we may have never even thought to share.  When you value the opinions of others over what we know to be true, those false labels can wrap themselves around us squeezing the very life out of us like a boa constrictor.  Lets consider others in your life...  should their thoughts and opinions count?
Spouses or parents should count.  They know you, and we are also called to honor them.  As a personal rule, I don't keep things from my husband.  Sure, there have been things I have forgotten to tell him from time to time, but to live on purpose, means to keep nothing from him if I possibly can. Are there a few things he probably doesn't know about me still even after 13 years of being together, for sure, because they are things in my past that I haven't even thought to share (stories or things that have happened in my life that probably are irrelevant anyway, but not kept away on purpose).  His opinion matters to me because I want to be walking in the shadow of his blessing.  I do a lot in ministry, and I always ask his opinion on things because in Gods eyes we are one.  Have we ever disagreed? For sure.  Have I ever gone and done something against his wishes?.....I admit I have and later wished I had listened.  He would say the say the same.  It matters to me what he thinks because by Gods divine plan, I am under his leadership.  I also care what my children think because I am their role model, I want to be sure I am modeling to them a Godly walk as much as possible.
     Relationships matter, so friendships matter, and I don't just mean ANY friends.  I mean your closest most inner circle.  Best friends are more than people you just hang out with, or laugh with.  Best friends are the people that are there for you in ALL seasons, those that speak truth in your life to you even when you may not want to hear it.  Those people that love you enough to pull the corn cob out of your behind, or that tear up your ticket when you have gotten aboard the "bitter bus" when your have gotten on the wrong path.  The friends that love you through thick and thin, right where you are, who are more like family to you.  They are the family that YOU get to pick.
Don't misunderstand, there is a huge difference between caring what friends think and internalizing everything they say and making choices just to appease people.
 I recently had a  best friend contemplating a job offer that would have moved him across the country.  I admit I was devastated at the thought, and cried many tears.  I knew it was safe to share with him my feelings because I KNEW he would do what the Lord was calling him to do regardless of my thoughts or feelings.  Did he care about my feelings, for sure, and definitely didn't want me to be sad, but knowing his heart and thoughts and him knowing mine, it was safe to be honest with him because his focus (and mine) was Gods complete will for his life, as it SHOULD be.
Consider Galatians 1:10  Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or God? or am I trying to please people?  If I were trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.
     Now lets take a look at the community...or everyone else...
This comes down to your reputation, and we all have one.  I want to be clear when saying the word REPUTATION.  Reputation does not mean the stuff that people make up about you, imagine about you, or presume about you.  Reputation is the things that YOU ARE KNOWN FOR.
One person can misjudge you.  A group of friends can misjudge you, but if what you are KNOWN for in your community is being a snob, for example,  then this either means you are or whatever you are putting out there makes you appear that way.  If one person sees something they may be mistaken, if ten people see it, it COULD be true.  Communities are on the witness stand, and our behavior is evidence, with the verdict being our reputation.  I can hear groans out there and people still saying "who cares about reputation", but the truth is that it does matter, and this is why.  You want your friends and family to trust you, you want your boss to give you a break if you make a mistake or if you need a reference for your ideal job,  you may need help with something some day...like moving, and nobody is going to want to help you if they think you are a snob.
Honestly, ignoring reputation is not empowering, its stupidity!!  Even Proverbs speaks of it in 22:1 saying "a good name is more desirable than great riches; to be esteemed is better than silver or gold."   When a person lives with integrity and grace, a good reputation will inevitable follow.  We should all endeavor to live so that if anyone were to speak ill of us, no one would believe them.
   Lets not forget strangers.  I get hate mail all the time for things that I post or write,  I would imagine I will get some from this post as well.  The truth is that you can't make everyone like you or agree with you.  You honestly would have an easier time trying to wrestle a pig covering in vasoline then trying to defend yourself to some, so don't waste your energy.  If I ever reply to that kind of mail, I have been known to tell those people to take a number or save their breath, but that I love them anyway.
     Our society is guilty of half-truths that contain within them lies...WHICH MAKES THEM ONLY HALF TRUE.  Relationships matter, reputation matters, testimonies matter, people should care about what others think about them.  The world however is full of over-correctors.  In our zeal of screaming or demonstrating that "we don't care what anyone else thinks" we take it too far and end up uncensoring ourselves and being down right RUDE.  Telling the truth does not give permission for rudeness, ever.
Maturity plays a huge role in this.  Yes, its time to put on your big girl or big boy pants.
Being nice to someone you don't like isn't hypocritical, its mature.  Keeping your mouth shut isn't cowardly, its mature.  Accepting criticism and using it to grow isn't letting other people define you, its being mature.
I believe the balance is grace.  Grace for ourselves in that what others think doesn't define us.  Grace for everyone in that their opinion is valid, so I will listen and discern graciously, but ultimately you need to follow what Christ is leading you to do because in the end.....even though your actions can have a ripple effect consequence with others.....it is HE that you will answer to.
 I know that when I get to Heaven I want to hear "Well done" for whatever my actions here on Earth were..
 So by making a statement of "I don't care what ANYONE thinks" is just NOT TRUE for anyone, because if it matters to you what ONE thinks...then this in itself, is a false statement.