Holding the Boat

      Have you ever been out in a boat to head out for some water fun or fishing? I have, many times with my family. My husband, thankfully is very knowledgeable about boating and boats. He gets the boat off the trailer into the water, and without fail asks me to hold the boat to the dock, being careful not to let it bump against the dock, until he can get the truck and trailer up out of the water and parked in the parking lot, which sometimes can take awhile especially if he's waiting on other circumstances or trying to find a place to park. He tells us to wait for him before we get into the boat, and since he's the captain it's an important instruction to follow. To be honest, it's the part I hate of boating. Sometimes when I'm holding the boat, if there is any kind of waves, wind, or water turbulence, it can be a challenge as the boat is already going to the motion of the water which is normally moving away from the dock. Sometimes it really is stretching me and pulling me in awkward positions. I'm really ready to jump into the boat, but it's not ready yet and I know not to go against captains orders because I know the directions are there to keep me safe.  Often while I'm waiting,  I imagine the fun we are going to have, along with seeing the beauty of the lake as well as seeing the beauty of the sun and its warmth. I admittedly have become impatient waiting.
I feel like this right now in my life....like I'm holding the boat.  I'm ready to jump in, but right now the Captain is still working out the details of preparation, preparing to set sail. The waters seem turbulent and I want to just jump in, but I can't. Part of me is on the dock with part of me holding the boat while I wait on the Captain of my ship. I love deeply and feel deeply and I'm admittedly struggling and emotional at times, especially when I get caught off guard by a gust of wind or a big wave that I didn't see coming. I still, however, continue to trust the Captain of my ship even if it seems He's taking forever.  I still know I'm to wait on His direction. So I HOLD. In the meanwhile I'm stretching in maybe some awkward positions, but nevertheless I will HOLD knowing and trusting my Captain.

Walking It Out

    In the presence of God there is peace.  You have to go where your peace lies because all else is not peaceful. Such a simple but truthful statement. We all walk through difficult times but the key is walking it out. I listened to a message about moving forward yesterday and although I already knew the importance of moving forward I actually found my own self guilty of being in temporary avoidance mode. I know where my peace lies and I know what God is calling me to do but instead of walking through it and all its sometimes oncoming potholes, divots, and even smooth areas in the road, I tried to escape it, and side step it. I can't force a new season forth by avoiding the steps to get there.....even when the season is so close I can taste it. I still have to walk it out one step at a time. Each step is stretching me, strengthening me, teaching me to balance, reminding me to walk the best I can all the while practicing and demonstrating forgiveness, mercy and grace toward myself and others.   It's also reminding me to walk in faith and rely on His guidance alone along the twists and turns.
My deep desire and even in my own minuscule view of what I know to be ahead in this next season is so saturating that it brings me to tears at the thought of "almost" being there. It's a passion that consumes me, consumes my heart, yet I need to take the steps He's laid out, not follow my own map.  No short cuts. For His view is greater, clearer and far more beautiful than my puny mind could ever begin to imagine, it's perfect. He knows what's needed to be able to journey such a feat. So I will walk...moving forward...step by step, walking by faith and not by sight but yet still excitedly anticipating its impact to help build His Kingdom.