Wednesday, December 31, 2014
ENOUGH - Happy New Year!!
So many people focus on New Years resolutions for the new year. Its not that they are bad, but statistics show that most people blow their resolution by the end of February. We are all excited about the possibilities of what the New Year will hold, and believing, hoping, praying it will be better than the last. Why not simplify things this year and ask God to show you just one word for you for 2015. One word that will change your life for 2015. I had been challenged and asked God to do just that, to reveal just one word to me. The Bible uses the phrase "one thing" to bring focus and clarity to His calling. Its found four times in the gospels and also in Philippians. In Luke 10:42, Jesus says to Martha "Only one thing is needed". In Luke 18:22, and Mark 10:21 the phrase "One thing" is used to express a lack. In Philippians 3:13-14 , Paul uses the phrase as well to talk about "one thing" he does. John 9:25 uses the phrase to talk about "one thing I do know, I was blind but now I see". So ask God to reveal to you "one thing" or "one word", for the new year. It was today that He revealed the word ENOUGH for me and to me. The first thing I think of is that His Grace is ENOUGH for ME!!! Yea!! That His Grace is sufficient for me and His power is made perfect in my weakness, as found in 2 Corinthians 12:9. Isn't that exciting!! I know that this word He has given me will be a life changing and constant reminder for me for 2015 and will reveal much much more to me, to my life throughout the year. I am one who believes that less is often more in many, many situations. We might be tempted to choose a phrase, instead simplify, and ask HIM to reveal a word for you through prayer, for such a time as this. May your new year be filled with clarity, and simplicity that will be life changing as you go about His will for your life. Happy 2015 and God Bless you and yours.
Saturday, September 13, 2014
Feeling Lost Dealing with Loss
Today my heart is heavy for those dear friends that I know who have recently lost spouses over the last year. Many of you know because of earlier posts, that I have walked this road myself 13 1/2 year ago when I lost my husband Todd. My heart aches because I know the pain, the deafening silence of the house, the fear of the unknown, the empty bed, the clothes left hanging in the closet, their scent still on their belongings, the toothbrush left in the holder, the dirty laundry left in the basket, the voice still on the answering machine..... the day to day struggles of trying to move on without your best friend at your side. This type of loss is different than the loss of another loved one.....each personal loss has its own impact, its own pain, its own path to journey down. What I do know from personal experience is that not a day goes by without thinking about them. Its been 13 1/2 years but I think of Todd daily, regardless of what is happening in my life. Regardless of the fact that I am now remarried and have more children. He was part of my heart and always will be. I'm blessed with a spouse that "gets that", and I am blessed. I have dealt with many emotions of my own, and those who loved him, and there were many. Sadness, hurt, anger, hate, guilt, blame, sympathy, empathy, devastation.....all part of the journey of grief that is on going. Nobody wins in a loss like this...the pain is deep, touching the depths of the very soul to the core. Often we as friends feel helpless in knowing what to say, what to do. I truly think that unless you have personally walked this path, often there is nothing you can say, but just listen and be there with a hug to support. I can tell you that I am so thankful that my own hope was in the Lord. I could not have imagined walking this path without having Jesus at my side. He is the husband to the husbandless, hope for the hopeless. He will carry you when you cant even begin to walk on your own. He will never fail you. I remember crying out to Him many nights when I could hardly stand the silence or the thought of living another day without him....it was God who carried me through. He is able to do immeasurably more than we could even ask for or imagine (Ephesians 3:20). Hold tightly to His hand and he will carry you through. It is true that He knows your pain, and every thought and emotion you are dealing with, but its important not to just think about how He knows this, but to think TO Him. Pour your heart out to Him, and trust that He will be with you through it. I remember writing a lot during this time. The days can get lonely but don't band-aide the pain...walk through it knowing He's got you.
People can be insensitive in this time. I truly don't think they mean to, but in the attempt to "help" in trying to blindly move or keep you in a place in how THEY think things should go, or where they think you should be at that point in life, they can say things that can be hurtful....try not to take it personally but instead to see their love/ or their own pain behind it. Your spouse would not want you to sit in a corner wearing black, with the lights off and shut off the world, but instead would want you to embrace life, live it to its fullest, to walk out His plan...because He does have one for your life. I remember singing a song that was popular at the time by Rich Mullins who has gone on to Heaven himself, called Hold Me Jesus. http://youtu.be/WTDRjqVIyVY . I would sing this song in my "crying out", through the tears and pain and silence. I can clearly see that the Lord answered my prayers in song and He has held me all the way through and has not failed me. I know He will do the same for you, but give it all to Him and know that God's got this. Love you all!!
To read my other post related to this: http://divineirrigation.blogspot.com/2011/03/day-i-lost-my-husband.html
and http://divineirrigation.blogspot.com/2013/03/what-death-has-taught-me.html
People can be insensitive in this time. I truly don't think they mean to, but in the attempt to "help" in trying to blindly move or keep you in a place in how THEY think things should go, or where they think you should be at that point in life, they can say things that can be hurtful....try not to take it personally but instead to see their love/ or their own pain behind it. Your spouse would not want you to sit in a corner wearing black, with the lights off and shut off the world, but instead would want you to embrace life, live it to its fullest, to walk out His plan...because He does have one for your life. I remember singing a song that was popular at the time by Rich Mullins who has gone on to Heaven himself, called Hold Me Jesus. http://youtu.be/WTDRjqVIyVY . I would sing this song in my "crying out", through the tears and pain and silence. I can clearly see that the Lord answered my prayers in song and He has held me all the way through and has not failed me. I know He will do the same for you, but give it all to Him and know that God's got this. Love you all!!
To read my other post related to this: http://divineirrigation.blogspot.com/2011/03/day-i-lost-my-husband.html
and http://divineirrigation.blogspot.com/2013/03/what-death-has-taught-me.html
Monday, May 26, 2014
Kindred Spirits
If you know me well, you know that I am quite a social being. As a matter of fact I'm that way so much that I think the worst form of punishment for me would be solitary confinement and I truly think that if left there for long enough that I would blow up physically - ha ha. I know that God made me this way...to be social. I love people with a passion that I cannot even begin to explain except that it comes from that fact that God loved me so much that He gave His only Son so that I could have eternal life and...love others in a way He would have me to. Its a love that it stitched within my very being...to love on people. Some find it weird, so if you find the need to turn your head a puke, go right ahead, I'm okay with that. I have the ability to recognize that its less my problem and more theirs. I empathize with people, I hurt when they may be hurting. When they are walking though something I seem to be able to sense it and feel the emotions that go along with it. Because of the way that I am stitched together, my friendships are extremely important to me. I have lots of people I consider friends and would quickly hug their necks if I saw them on the street, but there is a small handful that I would call friendships or say that I am Kindred Spirits with. Its more than an friendship but more like people who would be my "siblings" if I could choose them to be. Its like we are cut from the same cloth, with the same passions, callings, hearts...... It almost like I know how they are, in their hearts, even before they tell me. Upon meeting these people I can each say that I knew IMMEDIATELY that we would be life time friends without saying much at all. Something I sensed in the Spirit maybe that made me feel as if I had already known them a lifetime. It is difficult to explain, but I'm so thankful for these few that God has placed in my life to bless me, but more importantly for His purpose.
Nearly a year ago I wrote a post called "Iron Sharpening Iron". I had forgotten all about it until I felt again so strongly to write about my God given friendships again today because of how thankful I am, that I recalled writing something before and had to look it up. I am not sure I can put any better to words what I did before, so I will post it below. I'm so thankful that God continues to bless me in this manner....I don't even have the proper human words to express how much. ;)
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I cannot even begin to express enough how thankful I am for the friendships that God has brought into my life. There is a quote out there about friendship " In your entire life, you can probably count your true friends on one hand". I have to say that for me I could easily use two hands to do so. I have a handful however that remind me of the verse in the Bible about iron sharpening iron. The real, no matter how bad it gets, how stupid or wrong I may be, no matter time or distance, I can count on them to slap me upside the head, encourage me, always tell me the truth, cheer me on, and love me regardless of how dumb I might be without holding back, friendships are priceless to me and have no doubt been God ordained in my life.
The phrase “iron sharpens iron” is found in Proverbs 27:17: “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.” There is mutual benefit in the rubbing of two iron blades together; the edges become sharper, making the knives more efficient in their task to cut and slice. Likewise the Word of God is a ‘double-edged sword’ (Hebrews 4:12), and it is with this that we are to sharpen one another—in times of meeting, fellowship, or any other interaction.
I am thankful for the times I have come to them in tears and just needed to be prayed with, over, and for. I'm thankful for the times I too have been blessed enough to lift them up in prayer for needs in their lives and in their families lives. We stand together in faith because we know that there is power in His Name.
Galatians 6:2-12 Speaks of bearing in one another burdens to fulfill the law of Christ.
The fragrances of divine ‘unity’ are best sensed in the relationship of David and Jonathan, son of Saul. When David was being hotly pursued by Saul, Jonathan sought David out “to help him find strength in God” (1 Samuel 23:16), which leads us onto our second point. Iron sharpening iron is an opportunity to fulfill the Law of Christ. The apostle Paul says that we are to carry and share the issues and burdens that we face daily, to lament over personal sin, advise on how best to repent of it, and rejoice over the conquest of it. This is the same “royal law” mentioned in James 2:8, where we are exhorted to love one another.
Returning to the analogy, if a knife is blunt, it still continues to be a knife, although it is less effective, less useful in the Lord’s service. Let us therefore be encouraged to spend more time together, exhorting, encouraging, praying, admonishing, sharing God’s Word, praying over God’s Word and the needs of one another, that we become sharper, more cutting in the calling that the Lord has assigned to each of us. Too often what passes as fellowship is centered on food and fun, not on sharpening one another with the Word of God. In far too many instances, the only knives being sharpened are the ones used to cut food - ha ha.
Finally, a knife that has been sharpened will also shine more because all the dullness has been rubbed off its surface. Likewise, we will shine better for our Lord if we do these things consistently. “How good and pleasant it is when brothers live together in unity” (Psalm 133:1). After all, if we are not cheering one another on in our walk and walking in truth, then we are NOT - either you are or aren't. Therefore, “... let us consider how we may spur one another on towards love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another ....” (Hebrews 10:24-25).
Nearly a year ago I wrote a post called "Iron Sharpening Iron". I had forgotten all about it until I felt again so strongly to write about my God given friendships again today because of how thankful I am, that I recalled writing something before and had to look it up. I am not sure I can put any better to words what I did before, so I will post it below. I'm so thankful that God continues to bless me in this manner....I don't even have the proper human words to express how much. ;)
**************************************************
I cannot even begin to express enough how thankful I am for the friendships that God has brought into my life. There is a quote out there about friendship " In your entire life, you can probably count your true friends on one hand". I have to say that for me I could easily use two hands to do so. I have a handful however that remind me of the verse in the Bible about iron sharpening iron. The real, no matter how bad it gets, how stupid or wrong I may be, no matter time or distance, I can count on them to slap me upside the head, encourage me, always tell me the truth, cheer me on, and love me regardless of how dumb I might be without holding back, friendships are priceless to me and have no doubt been God ordained in my life.
The phrase “iron sharpens iron” is found in Proverbs 27:17: “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.” There is mutual benefit in the rubbing of two iron blades together; the edges become sharper, making the knives more efficient in their task to cut and slice. Likewise the Word of God is a ‘double-edged sword’ (Hebrews 4:12), and it is with this that we are to sharpen one another—in times of meeting, fellowship, or any other interaction.
I am thankful for the times I have come to them in tears and just needed to be prayed with, over, and for. I'm thankful for the times I too have been blessed enough to lift them up in prayer for needs in their lives and in their families lives. We stand together in faith because we know that there is power in His Name.
Although I don't get to physically see these friends daily, I talk or converse with them nearly on a daily basis and am so thankful for social technology that aids in that, because the Proverb also indicates the need for constant fellowship with one another. Man was not made to be alone, for did not the Lord God say this, even before the Fall (Genesis 2:18)? How much more, then, after the Fall of Man, do we need to come together with our brothers and sisters in Christ for seasons of fellowship and prayer. Clearly this was recognized by the saints of the early church (Acts 2:42-47) who “devoted themselves” to the teaching, fellowship, communion, and prayer, all corporate activities that provided opportunities for sharpening one another. The result was that they were “filled with awe” and when they met together, they praised God for the favor they found with one another.
The meeting of two together in the Lord’s name will always guarantee blessing. It is a means of grace that the Lord Himself promised—where two or more are gathered in His name, there He is among them (Matthew 18:20). Also, we see a similar meaning in Malachi for those who feared the Lord talked with each other, and the Lord listened and heard (Malachi 3:16). When we sharpen one another in real Christian fellowship, the Lord bends an ear from heaven and is pleased. Not one word about Him which brings Him glory escapes His notice.
Galatians 6:2-12 Speaks of bearing in one another burdens to fulfill the law of Christ.
The fragrances of divine ‘unity’ are best sensed in the relationship of David and Jonathan, son of Saul. When David was being hotly pursued by Saul, Jonathan sought David out “to help him find strength in God” (1 Samuel 23:16), which leads us onto our second point. Iron sharpening iron is an opportunity to fulfill the Law of Christ. The apostle Paul says that we are to carry and share the issues and burdens that we face daily, to lament over personal sin, advise on how best to repent of it, and rejoice over the conquest of it. This is the same “royal law” mentioned in James 2:8, where we are exhorted to love one another.
Returning to the analogy, if a knife is blunt, it still continues to be a knife, although it is less effective, less useful in the Lord’s service. Let us therefore be encouraged to spend more time together, exhorting, encouraging, praying, admonishing, sharing God’s Word, praying over God’s Word and the needs of one another, that we become sharper, more cutting in the calling that the Lord has assigned to each of us. Too often what passes as fellowship is centered on food and fun, not on sharpening one another with the Word of God. In far too many instances, the only knives being sharpened are the ones used to cut food - ha ha.
Finally, a knife that has been sharpened will also shine more because all the dullness has been rubbed off its surface. Likewise, we will shine better for our Lord if we do these things consistently. “How good and pleasant it is when brothers live together in unity” (Psalm 133:1). After all, if we are not cheering one another on in our walk and walking in truth, then we are NOT - either you are or aren't. Therefore, “... let us consider how we may spur one another on towards love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another ....” (Hebrews 10:24-25).
Monday, May 19, 2014
Finding Balance
1 Peter 5:8
"Be well balanced (temperate, sober of mind), be vigilant and cautious at all times; for that enemy of yours, the devil, roams around like a lion roaring (in fierce hunger), seeking someone to seize upon and devour."
If you know me well, you know that I am a person who would give you the shirt off my back if it was needed. I'm not one to shy away from getting things done, or helping a brother out if I can. When I commit to something I am there, on time, and without fail if I can pull it off. I hate being late, and I work hard at completing the task at hand and not just do it...but do it well.
As I lay here in my bed however, recovering from Bronchitis/ pneumonia that nearly ended me up in the hospital (due to my oxygen levels), my battle is with the mind and the heart vs the body. I am one of those that struggles getting my mind to shut off. There is always something to be done, somewhere to be, something to do....the life of being a mom, as many of you can testify, is never ending. With my husband being a truck driver, much of the responsibility of the kids, house etc... falls on me. Don't get me wrong, I am thankful for his job...its an excellent job and has allowed me to be the mom I need to be to my kids, work a job that I love, that works with their schedule, and to send them to school where they can build their relationship with Christ even closer....that to me is priceless and something I will never regret.
I'm also am involved in many other activities that are callings on my life and whole-heartedly enjoy them, but where does one find balance. I know I am not the only one out there who does the "balancing act" in life....we all do in many ways. I'm also smart enough to know that if you spread yourself too thin, and don't leave enough for yourself....you will be no good to anyone regardless of the calling on your life. I get it. I think the enemy loves and does try to make us so busy that we do spread ourselves too thin....but it comes down to personal choices and not giving the enemy so much credit. My personal, being real with you, struggle is in the mind. Right now I am in bed and my brain is telling me all the things I could be doing, yep even though I am home sick from work. Dishes in the sink, my Masters class, laundry etc..... but my body is screaming "Have you lost your mind". Honestly, I am sick enough that I will remain in bed, but what is this battle??? I know I cant be the only one who deals with it. I mean, really?! What will happen if I don't do those things.....they will still be there, and the world will not end. For me its not out of fear, although I know for some it is. That question of "What will the neighbors think?"...for me I could care less what the neighbors think. You should have seen what I looked like when I had to drag myself out of bed to take the kids to school...right then you would have known that I didn't care. Even my oldest questioned if I should be out of bed because of the way I looked ;)
As I look at the lives of my close friends....its funny to me how many of us are the same in that way....constantly running, doing, going...rarely resting until something slaps us across the face to get our attention and slow us down a bit. Ive been guilty of reminding those friends to slow down and rest...without doing it myself. GUILTY!! I can quickly see it in others lives but for me I just seem to ignore it as there is no time to think about it, until now when I'm forced to. Even now I say to myself "I don't have time to be sick". My life is an open book, always has been. To God be the Glory!! So this is me, being real...trying to find balance. Its kinda funny how I was just having a conversation with some friends on Saturday about this very topic...having no idea that I was about to get slapped in the face with the reality physically, although I know the Holy Spirit has been telling me to slow down for awhile....so I have been finding myself delegating around the house even more, asking for help and spreading the love of keeping the house in order more evenly, because I just cant do it. I'm thankful for my families eagerness to jump in more without complaint, as in the past I have been guilty of not asking for help.
In the last week, I have seen or been given two quotes from friends that have really resonated with me. One was "Just because someone desires you, does not mean they value you", and the other one was "Be patient and be a good patient". Those hit me between the eyeballs because for starters....I have always struggled with being patient (but here in the last year have been really working on that), and have never been a good patient. I am used to being the one as the "nurse" or helper and absolutely loving doing that because of my love for people and my love to serve. I also never want to be a burden to anyone. The other quote to me was a reality check....something to ponder for my own life. Truth!
I'm personally thankful for my hope and relationship in Christ. When people don't have that, I have no idea how they walk through struggles. I also have those God given "cheerleaders" in my life that encourage me constantly. I know that when the world squeezes on me, they are gonna get the Word of God flowing out because that is what I am constantly refueling with. I may be in bed but my spirit is soaring. ;)
Balance is a challenge in many of our lives and I am admitting its a challenge for me on trying to find it, as I think it needs constant re-evaluation. So my purpose in this blog post is simple: To be real, as I try to be, and to ask yourself about the balance in your own life. Is it time to re-evaluate. re-prioritize, or just start saying no more. I know from recent conversations with friends, who are strong followers of Christ, that its an across the board struggle. Maybe you aren't there right now, but at some point in life you have been or possibly will be.
1 Peter 5:8 (quoted above) immediately came to mind to me as I deal with this battle of the "balancing act". I know I will come out victorious however, and for that I thank God and give Him all the Glory. Thanks for letting me be real. God Bless You!!
"Be well balanced (temperate, sober of mind), be vigilant and cautious at all times; for that enemy of yours, the devil, roams around like a lion roaring (in fierce hunger), seeking someone to seize upon and devour."
If you know me well, you know that I am a person who would give you the shirt off my back if it was needed. I'm not one to shy away from getting things done, or helping a brother out if I can. When I commit to something I am there, on time, and without fail if I can pull it off. I hate being late, and I work hard at completing the task at hand and not just do it...but do it well.
As I lay here in my bed however, recovering from Bronchitis/ pneumonia that nearly ended me up in the hospital (due to my oxygen levels), my battle is with the mind and the heart vs the body. I am one of those that struggles getting my mind to shut off. There is always something to be done, somewhere to be, something to do....the life of being a mom, as many of you can testify, is never ending. With my husband being a truck driver, much of the responsibility of the kids, house etc... falls on me. Don't get me wrong, I am thankful for his job...its an excellent job and has allowed me to be the mom I need to be to my kids, work a job that I love, that works with their schedule, and to send them to school where they can build their relationship with Christ even closer....that to me is priceless and something I will never regret.
I'm also am involved in many other activities that are callings on my life and whole-heartedly enjoy them, but where does one find balance. I know I am not the only one out there who does the "balancing act" in life....we all do in many ways. I'm also smart enough to know that if you spread yourself too thin, and don't leave enough for yourself....you will be no good to anyone regardless of the calling on your life. I get it. I think the enemy loves and does try to make us so busy that we do spread ourselves too thin....but it comes down to personal choices and not giving the enemy so much credit. My personal, being real with you, struggle is in the mind. Right now I am in bed and my brain is telling me all the things I could be doing, yep even though I am home sick from work. Dishes in the sink, my Masters class, laundry etc..... but my body is screaming "Have you lost your mind". Honestly, I am sick enough that I will remain in bed, but what is this battle??? I know I cant be the only one who deals with it. I mean, really?! What will happen if I don't do those things.....they will still be there, and the world will not end. For me its not out of fear, although I know for some it is. That question of "What will the neighbors think?"...for me I could care less what the neighbors think. You should have seen what I looked like when I had to drag myself out of bed to take the kids to school...right then you would have known that I didn't care. Even my oldest questioned if I should be out of bed because of the way I looked ;)
As I look at the lives of my close friends....its funny to me how many of us are the same in that way....constantly running, doing, going...rarely resting until something slaps us across the face to get our attention and slow us down a bit. Ive been guilty of reminding those friends to slow down and rest...without doing it myself. GUILTY!! I can quickly see it in others lives but for me I just seem to ignore it as there is no time to think about it, until now when I'm forced to. Even now I say to myself "I don't have time to be sick". My life is an open book, always has been. To God be the Glory!! So this is me, being real...trying to find balance. Its kinda funny how I was just having a conversation with some friends on Saturday about this very topic...having no idea that I was about to get slapped in the face with the reality physically, although I know the Holy Spirit has been telling me to slow down for awhile....so I have been finding myself delegating around the house even more, asking for help and spreading the love of keeping the house in order more evenly, because I just cant do it. I'm thankful for my families eagerness to jump in more without complaint, as in the past I have been guilty of not asking for help.
In the last week, I have seen or been given two quotes from friends that have really resonated with me. One was "Just because someone desires you, does not mean they value you", and the other one was "Be patient and be a good patient". Those hit me between the eyeballs because for starters....I have always struggled with being patient (but here in the last year have been really working on that), and have never been a good patient. I am used to being the one as the "nurse" or helper and absolutely loving doing that because of my love for people and my love to serve. I also never want to be a burden to anyone. The other quote to me was a reality check....something to ponder for my own life. Truth!
I'm personally thankful for my hope and relationship in Christ. When people don't have that, I have no idea how they walk through struggles. I also have those God given "cheerleaders" in my life that encourage me constantly. I know that when the world squeezes on me, they are gonna get the Word of God flowing out because that is what I am constantly refueling with. I may be in bed but my spirit is soaring. ;)
Balance is a challenge in many of our lives and I am admitting its a challenge for me on trying to find it, as I think it needs constant re-evaluation. So my purpose in this blog post is simple: To be real, as I try to be, and to ask yourself about the balance in your own life. Is it time to re-evaluate. re-prioritize, or just start saying no more. I know from recent conversations with friends, who are strong followers of Christ, that its an across the board struggle. Maybe you aren't there right now, but at some point in life you have been or possibly will be.
1 Peter 5:8 (quoted above) immediately came to mind to me as I deal with this battle of the "balancing act". I know I will come out victorious however, and for that I thank God and give Him all the Glory. Thanks for letting me be real. God Bless You!!
Wednesday, February 12, 2014
I'll Stand
Ephesians 6:13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.
It was a few years ago that while my husband was driving his work truck, he was hit by a transportation bus who was attempting to turn, but instead had hit a patch of ice and could not stop and ended up going through the intersection into my husbands lane. The bus had several people on board headed to work, but those people (potential witnesses) were taken off the bus and loaded quickly on another bus before the police could even arrive. Although nobody was seriously injured, one person did take an ambulance to the hospital to get checked out. My own husband, refusing to take an ambulance, even took himself in to get checked out. Although I am not going to give any more specific details for legal reasons, I will tell you that when the police report came out, it was written that my husband failed to yield but was not ticketed, even though he never left his lane and pulled out in front of no one. I personally got on the scene before the police and pictures alone showed just who was at fault. Never the less, because of the simple sentence the officer wrote, within just a couple weeks of the accident, the lawsuits began to roll in. Our attorney told us to expect this, especially because there was no record of exactly "who" was on the bus, "people" who "said" they were in the accident started coming out of the woodwork. Those law offices you see on TV that many would call "ambulance chasers" certainly did not help the situation. When you begin to receive these in the mail on a regular basis telling you that people are planning to sue you for a ton of money, it can be a bit daunting. As we walked through this, I had to continue to remind myself that God knew the situation, He knew the truth and that as His children, we had favor in this situation, yet I could not helped hear that "other" voice that kept trying to speak fear into my life and we continued to keep receiving papers in the mail. I remembered about a year and a half after the accident, when I thought things had settled down a bit, and I was getting ready to head out of state for a week long speaking engagement, we received yet another set of "papers". I remember kind of starting to fall apart in frustration and fear because it caught me off guard. There is nothing like that helpless feeling of knowing you are innocent, having done nothing wrong, yet you can scream "But I'm innocent" at the top of your lungs, but yet you are still expected to prove it regardless of what you think may look obvious. Very quickly after feeling this panic reaction however, I felt the Holy Spirit remind me where fear comes from and to hold tight to what God says...not some papers.
I often, in worship and for comfort, turn to Gods Words in the form of music. I sat down at my piano and began to play in worship and the words just started to flow. First of all, I was reminded of the verse in Ephesians 6:13 that reminds us that when we have done everything we can to stand our ground, just to stand firm. I knew that this was not OUR battle, but the Lords. I began to write, write, write, and pour out the words that the Lord placed upon my heart in a song, to remind me just what Gods word says when I felt that fear trying to sneak up on me.
"When the ways of this world threat to carry us away, and fear is all consuming, it is You oh God, that is my strength and shield: Immovable, unchangeable, an everlasting God.....and I shall not fear, cause you are near and You hold me in Your hands, and when Ive done all to stand, I'll stand.
I know I'll find You, right where I met You, You are my anchor in this storm. With Your Word upon my heart, it shelters me, oh it sets me free....and I shall not fear, cause you are near, and you hold me in Your hands...and when Ive done all to stand, and when Ive done all I can, and when Ive done all to stand, I'll just stand....."
Anyway, that is some of it and you get the idea. I can tell you that I have had to lean on that song a number of times since it was written, just to remind me to remain calm and stand. Even when the above situation had passed, and not a dime spent out of our pockets due to His favor, I have relied upon this song in other situations the devil tries to throw at me. I have recorded this particular song, and have used it in ministry to remind others as well of what the word of God says. I think often our first instinct is to panic, jump into fear and into a mode of trying to control the situation.....tiring ourselves out with fearful actions and worry. Worry is much like a rocking chair, where it keeps you busy but gets you no where. I can honestly testify that I have rocked a lot of miles in my life.... none of which got me anywhere but wasted a ton of my time and energy. God does expect us to be prepared with our FULL ARMOR ON, and to do what we need to do (without fear and worry), but to first go to Him in confidence KNOWING that HE IS GOD. He just wants us to stand. I think of times when I handed it all over to God only to take it back thinking that I had a better idea...which is nuts...who has a better plan than God...really?! Instead we need to just duck and get out of the way and just stand on His Word. I write this as a reminder to myself and hopefully it will be a good reminder to you also. Be blessed. :)
It was a few years ago that while my husband was driving his work truck, he was hit by a transportation bus who was attempting to turn, but instead had hit a patch of ice and could not stop and ended up going through the intersection into my husbands lane. The bus had several people on board headed to work, but those people (potential witnesses) were taken off the bus and loaded quickly on another bus before the police could even arrive. Although nobody was seriously injured, one person did take an ambulance to the hospital to get checked out. My own husband, refusing to take an ambulance, even took himself in to get checked out. Although I am not going to give any more specific details for legal reasons, I will tell you that when the police report came out, it was written that my husband failed to yield but was not ticketed, even though he never left his lane and pulled out in front of no one. I personally got on the scene before the police and pictures alone showed just who was at fault. Never the less, because of the simple sentence the officer wrote, within just a couple weeks of the accident, the lawsuits began to roll in. Our attorney told us to expect this, especially because there was no record of exactly "who" was on the bus, "people" who "said" they were in the accident started coming out of the woodwork. Those law offices you see on TV that many would call "ambulance chasers" certainly did not help the situation. When you begin to receive these in the mail on a regular basis telling you that people are planning to sue you for a ton of money, it can be a bit daunting. As we walked through this, I had to continue to remind myself that God knew the situation, He knew the truth and that as His children, we had favor in this situation, yet I could not helped hear that "other" voice that kept trying to speak fear into my life and we continued to keep receiving papers in the mail. I remembered about a year and a half after the accident, when I thought things had settled down a bit, and I was getting ready to head out of state for a week long speaking engagement, we received yet another set of "papers". I remember kind of starting to fall apart in frustration and fear because it caught me off guard. There is nothing like that helpless feeling of knowing you are innocent, having done nothing wrong, yet you can scream "But I'm innocent" at the top of your lungs, but yet you are still expected to prove it regardless of what you think may look obvious. Very quickly after feeling this panic reaction however, I felt the Holy Spirit remind me where fear comes from and to hold tight to what God says...not some papers.
I often, in worship and for comfort, turn to Gods Words in the form of music. I sat down at my piano and began to play in worship and the words just started to flow. First of all, I was reminded of the verse in Ephesians 6:13 that reminds us that when we have done everything we can to stand our ground, just to stand firm. I knew that this was not OUR battle, but the Lords. I began to write, write, write, and pour out the words that the Lord placed upon my heart in a song, to remind me just what Gods word says when I felt that fear trying to sneak up on me.
"When the ways of this world threat to carry us away, and fear is all consuming, it is You oh God, that is my strength and shield: Immovable, unchangeable, an everlasting God.....and I shall not fear, cause you are near and You hold me in Your hands, and when Ive done all to stand, I'll stand.
I know I'll find You, right where I met You, You are my anchor in this storm. With Your Word upon my heart, it shelters me, oh it sets me free....and I shall not fear, cause you are near, and you hold me in Your hands...and when Ive done all to stand, and when Ive done all I can, and when Ive done all to stand, I'll just stand....."
Anyway, that is some of it and you get the idea. I can tell you that I have had to lean on that song a number of times since it was written, just to remind me to remain calm and stand. Even when the above situation had passed, and not a dime spent out of our pockets due to His favor, I have relied upon this song in other situations the devil tries to throw at me. I have recorded this particular song, and have used it in ministry to remind others as well of what the word of God says. I think often our first instinct is to panic, jump into fear and into a mode of trying to control the situation.....tiring ourselves out with fearful actions and worry. Worry is much like a rocking chair, where it keeps you busy but gets you no where. I can honestly testify that I have rocked a lot of miles in my life.... none of which got me anywhere but wasted a ton of my time and energy. God does expect us to be prepared with our FULL ARMOR ON, and to do what we need to do (without fear and worry), but to first go to Him in confidence KNOWING that HE IS GOD. He just wants us to stand. I think of times when I handed it all over to God only to take it back thinking that I had a better idea...which is nuts...who has a better plan than God...really?! Instead we need to just duck and get out of the way and just stand on His Word. I write this as a reminder to myself and hopefully it will be a good reminder to you also. Be blessed. :)
Wednesday, January 8, 2014
What The Enemy Tried To Steal.....
I've wanted to write about this for a long time but, of course, was waiting on the right time to do so. From the time I was little, it seems I've grown up around boys. For years, I was the only girl in the family amongst my brother and male cousins who lived just across the farm field and in town. All of us were close in age with me being the youngest, until several years later when I had a female cousin born - finally. ;) Even then, however, there was quite an age difference between she and I. These guys were my play mates for years. Much of the time I learned quickly to defend myself physically, and know when to run. Although I know my mother put me in dresses from time to time, I would have ditched that quickly for a pair of raggedy jeans and tennis shoes to go and play in the mud, or climb on the farm equipment at the family Tractor/ Farm Equipment Sales Business.
So for me, hanging with the boys was a normal way of life.
When my parents divorced, we moved, and things changed. My brother was still around to play with, and fight with, but my dad really wasn't anymore. Although now I know my Dad loved me as much as he knew how, (and I see this far more clearer as an adult), he had a difficult time showing me how much, as he struggled to love himself, and see past the alcohol that fogged his view. Although another testimony in itself, a father is a girls "first love". When that first love isn't consistent, and present, its very easy for rejection and abandonment issues to form. I struggled a lot of my life trying to please my Dad with the hopes of him putting down the bottle and instead hear him say "I love you" or "I'm proud of you". In many ways I became an "over achiever" trying to win his attention and trying not to fail. Its taken me years to tame down my "over achiever mode" and recognize that my Dad's struggles, and lack of attention toward me, really had nothing to do with me, but his own battles. If I could talk to him again I would tell him I love him and that I forgive him, and that I understand now. Although I mean no disrespect toward my fathers memory, he himself would easily admit he was not a good role model. I'm thankful for my step-father who entered my life several years later and was the Godly Fatherly influence I needed to begin to correct my thinking about men. Although he loved me and treated me as his own, much of the time, to a certain extent, I pushed that bond away, trying to fight so hard for my own fathers attention. It wasn't until I was closer to adulthood that I realized the impact and patience he truly had on my life. I was then so sorry that I had wasted time pushing that bond away like I did.
Throughout school I was always a girl that had mostly guy friends. Lots of myths about being "that girl", whatever you have drawn up in your own mind, or own experiences. For me, much of it had to do with wanting less drama and more about athletics in my life. I was the only girl invited at recess by the boys to play ball and was rarely chosen last when teams were picked. I was the only girl invited to play on the football team by the coach, back in the day, before that may have been called discrimination. For me, playing hard, rough and tumble with the boys was normal. My brother and I have a good laugh now and then about him taking me around the neighborhood, (and we jokingly say "pimping me out") to bet the neighborhood boys that his sister could beat them up for whatever amount of money was bet. I have to say we never lost a bet. Not sure now whether I'm embarrassed by that or not. Eventually, though school I found more of my feminine side and toned my beastly self down a bit, and I laugh about it now. When I became an adult and began to dissect some things in my life that concerned me, I found the root cause was that I really felt robbed of that fatherly influence, that Godly man influence...something that was such an incredible desire in my heart. My step-father tried and has always been there for me unconditionally, but by the point of realization and recognition of this all, I had moved out state and did not see him on a regular basis any longer. Its taken years for me restore in my own heart the relationship with him that I had taken for granted for so long, and I only had myself to blame. When I asked to Lord to forgive me for losing so many years by allowing the enemy to steal from me what he had, it wasn't long before God began to restore my life, my heart, and my self esteem, by placing Godly men in my life. As a matter of fact, it was my college volleyball coach, who had also been the son of an alcoholic, whom God first used to help me to see my life a bit more clearly, and that my fathers alcoholism really had nothing to do with me.
Over the years, as I have taken different paths in my life, I can see how God has placed Godly men in my life on purpose, to show me what it is supposed to look like, to friend me, to mentor me, to strengthen me, or to just be a blessing. I'm incredibly blessed with a Godly husband who sees it clearly and gets it, and that can only be of God. I have no words to describe just how thankful I am for the Godly men in my life but I can tell you when I think about it, it brings tears to my eyes. For what the enemy stole, God has provided back into my life. I'm reminded of the verses in Deuteronomy 30:3-13.
Godly men are so important to women. The world has perverted the very thought of these relationships, but having brothers and sisters in the Lord to me is priceless. Its purposeful. For me, its healing. I have jokingly said among my husband and male counterparts "I love men!!". Now if you heard me just say such a thing and didn't know my heart or testimony, you may be drawn to a creative, yet concerning conclusion about that statement. ha ha. What I guess I should be saying out loud is "I love Godly Men!!" as if to shout from the rooftop...THANK YOU JESUS FOR GIVING BACK TO ME WHAT THE ENEMY TRIED TO STEAL FROM MY LIFE. The enemy tried to make me think that men could not be counted on, that men would abandon me and not love me for me etc..... but its a lie. He not only gave it back to me, but I have an amazing abundance of overflow of amazing, Godly men He has put in my life and continues to do so. He did that for me to show me...this is how much I love you as your Heavenly Father, and this is what its supposed to look like on earth. Amen.
So for me, hanging with the boys was a normal way of life.
When my parents divorced, we moved, and things changed. My brother was still around to play with, and fight with, but my dad really wasn't anymore. Although now I know my Dad loved me as much as he knew how, (and I see this far more clearer as an adult), he had a difficult time showing me how much, as he struggled to love himself, and see past the alcohol that fogged his view. Although another testimony in itself, a father is a girls "first love". When that first love isn't consistent, and present, its very easy for rejection and abandonment issues to form. I struggled a lot of my life trying to please my Dad with the hopes of him putting down the bottle and instead hear him say "I love you" or "I'm proud of you". In many ways I became an "over achiever" trying to win his attention and trying not to fail. Its taken me years to tame down my "over achiever mode" and recognize that my Dad's struggles, and lack of attention toward me, really had nothing to do with me, but his own battles. If I could talk to him again I would tell him I love him and that I forgive him, and that I understand now. Although I mean no disrespect toward my fathers memory, he himself would easily admit he was not a good role model. I'm thankful for my step-father who entered my life several years later and was the Godly Fatherly influence I needed to begin to correct my thinking about men. Although he loved me and treated me as his own, much of the time, to a certain extent, I pushed that bond away, trying to fight so hard for my own fathers attention. It wasn't until I was closer to adulthood that I realized the impact and patience he truly had on my life. I was then so sorry that I had wasted time pushing that bond away like I did.
Throughout school I was always a girl that had mostly guy friends. Lots of myths about being "that girl", whatever you have drawn up in your own mind, or own experiences. For me, much of it had to do with wanting less drama and more about athletics in my life. I was the only girl invited at recess by the boys to play ball and was rarely chosen last when teams were picked. I was the only girl invited to play on the football team by the coach, back in the day, before that may have been called discrimination. For me, playing hard, rough and tumble with the boys was normal. My brother and I have a good laugh now and then about him taking me around the neighborhood, (and we jokingly say "pimping me out") to bet the neighborhood boys that his sister could beat them up for whatever amount of money was bet. I have to say we never lost a bet. Not sure now whether I'm embarrassed by that or not. Eventually, though school I found more of my feminine side and toned my beastly self down a bit, and I laugh about it now. When I became an adult and began to dissect some things in my life that concerned me, I found the root cause was that I really felt robbed of that fatherly influence, that Godly man influence...something that was such an incredible desire in my heart. My step-father tried and has always been there for me unconditionally, but by the point of realization and recognition of this all, I had moved out state and did not see him on a regular basis any longer. Its taken years for me restore in my own heart the relationship with him that I had taken for granted for so long, and I only had myself to blame. When I asked to Lord to forgive me for losing so many years by allowing the enemy to steal from me what he had, it wasn't long before God began to restore my life, my heart, and my self esteem, by placing Godly men in my life. As a matter of fact, it was my college volleyball coach, who had also been the son of an alcoholic, whom God first used to help me to see my life a bit more clearly, and that my fathers alcoholism really had nothing to do with me.
Over the years, as I have taken different paths in my life, I can see how God has placed Godly men in my life on purpose, to show me what it is supposed to look like, to friend me, to mentor me, to strengthen me, or to just be a blessing. I'm incredibly blessed with a Godly husband who sees it clearly and gets it, and that can only be of God. I have no words to describe just how thankful I am for the Godly men in my life but I can tell you when I think about it, it brings tears to my eyes. For what the enemy stole, God has provided back into my life. I'm reminded of the verses in Deuteronomy 30:3-13.
Godly men are so important to women. The world has perverted the very thought of these relationships, but having brothers and sisters in the Lord to me is priceless. Its purposeful. For me, its healing. I have jokingly said among my husband and male counterparts "I love men!!". Now if you heard me just say such a thing and didn't know my heart or testimony, you may be drawn to a creative, yet concerning conclusion about that statement. ha ha. What I guess I should be saying out loud is "I love Godly Men!!" as if to shout from the rooftop...THANK YOU JESUS FOR GIVING BACK TO ME WHAT THE ENEMY TRIED TO STEAL FROM MY LIFE. The enemy tried to make me think that men could not be counted on, that men would abandon me and not love me for me etc..... but its a lie. He not only gave it back to me, but I have an amazing abundance of overflow of amazing, Godly men He has put in my life and continues to do so. He did that for me to show me...this is how much I love you as your Heavenly Father, and this is what its supposed to look like on earth. Amen.
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