Running The Race

Hebrews 12: 1-2

 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God

      Have you ever had a dream that was so vividly clear that you were shocked when you woke up that it truly was just a dream.  In the last few months I have had so many confirmations from God about staying on His course and running His race, and not allowing things or people to hinder me, that I truly felt the importance of sharing this dream as I know for a fact that it was of God.  
  In my dream I was at the starting line of a race.  I didn't, however, know what the fine details of the race were,  or exactly how long the race would be.  When I would ask people in my dream about the details of the race that was about to start, nobody seemed to have the answer. They just would shrug their shoulders, smile, and continued to stretch and prepare.  Nobody had any answers on where the course led exactly or how long it was, but they were all preparing for the race ahead.  I remember my concern was wondering if I would be able to go the distance and how I would know where to run.  I was also wondering if I was dressed properly.  The course was not marked the way you would normally see a race course marked. There were no obvious markings at all, so I really had to keep my eyes and ears alert and focused to what seemed to be watching and listening, in order to remain on the path.  As the race began, I somehow knew that I could not necessarily count on being able to follow others that were also running. We were all running but at different paces and possibly different focuses of the race.  I also came upon many situations where there were people standing on the sides of the path that would encourage me to stop and take a rest and sit for awhile, telling me that I must be exhausted.  At one point, I remember being told that I was thirsty by someone on the side who handed me a cup. As I ran, however, I do not recall ever being thirsty for water.  Never-the-less I took the drink and for whatever reason, it did not taste good. I  then became frustrated, knowing I had wasted time by stopping.  I remember continuing on my path with the only thing I was "thirsty for" was to stay focused and keep running to find the finish line.  At one point I somehow got off the path and ended up in someones house.  They encouraged me to rest awhile, but I knew I couldn't, and that I had to keep going.  I remember struggling to find my way out of their house and nobody would show me the door out.  I finally found it, and continued to gain my focus back. Eventually, I found my way back to the path and continued to run, knowing I needed to remain steady on the course and not lose focus, feeling that urgency to keep going and not getting distracted.  Periodically there would be people on the side that would encourage me to keep running, but there seemed to be many more distractions of those attempting to get me to stop or rest for awhile.  In my dream I never laid eyes on the finish line before I woke up, but I knew I would have found it eventually as long as I remained steadfast on the path and the goal.  The sense of urgency to keep moving forward was indescribable.   When I woke, I was so breath taken because I KNEW that it had been a dream God had given me.
      Prior to having this dream I have had so many different confirmations of God speaking to me about running the race that He has put me on.   He continues to encourage me over and over to continue to remain steadfast on where He is calling me and to keep my focus. I am to be ready. I am to be built up and prepared for whatever may lay ahead.
I am not sure exactly what God is calling you to do.  Maybe you need to ask Him to show you.  There is no doubt He has a race for all of us to run.  Although there are, and will always be times of being tempted with distractions and hindrances, its learning to remain focused on HIM and remaining persistent that will eventually bring you to His finish line of the race.  The race may be difficult at times as it may seem like you are running up hill, or even in circles. If, however, you keep your eyes on the prize of Christ, He surely will direct your path.  Blessings and treasures lay ahead along the way for those who remain steadfast on the course.  I find that His voice seems to become more clear the more focused my running becomes and the more I keep my eyes on the path.  Oh, and the unspeakable joy - WOW!!  So keep running, stay focused, and follow His voice. The finish line may be closer than you think.  Blessings.

1 Corinthians 9:24

Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize.

Acts 20:24
However, I consider my life worth nothing to me; my only aim is to finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the good news of God’s grace.


 

The Day I Lost My Husband

     The day I lost my husband Todd, was the truly the most difficult day of my life.  He passed away 10 years ago on March 8, 2001.  Kennedy was just 8 months old and Payton was just 6.  I was doing a lot of writing during this time, while dealing with his mystery illness and following his death.  So much of it started with me writing emails to keep friends and family posted about what was happening.  I never imagined what would ever become of those emails.  My mom, however, had the frame of mind to save them all and put them into a book for me and for the kids to see when they got older.  The day that Todd died was life changing.  After Todd's funeral, I came back to my email and posted about the last moments of his life to share with everyone who loved him and had been praying for he and our family.  Some how I was able to sit down in my grief and walk through it all again to write it down.  Later in the book I also write about having to go to his classroom and clean it out, dealing with the results of his autopsy, and also times when I started to pack his things away at home, and dealing with grief during our first year without him.   Today I feel led to copy down what I wrote a few days after he died.  It still, to this day, brings tears to my eyes.
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Written in March of 2001:

     I wanted to take some time to take you through the last few minutes before Todd died to share with you the impact that it had on my life and the life of my family.
     That afternoon I went to the hospital to see Todd, as I always did, and he was up and down all day.  The one thing that became very apparent to me, and his family, was that he was so wide eyed that I thought it was strange.  It was like a "deer in the headlight look".  He couldn't have gotten his eyes any wider if he had tried and he was looking all over the ceiling.  At one point I kind of chuckled as I looked up trying to see what he was looking at and said: "Todd, what are you looking at, it is the same ceiling that has been there for 3 weeks." (Todd had been on a respirator his whole stay in the hospital and could not talk).  When I spoke to him he looked at me and when I would tell him that I loved him, he would mouth back to me that he loved me. So I knew he was very much "with it".  I also noticed that he didn't want me to leave as he stared at the ceiling.  Not that he was frightened, but he was just watching something he couldn't seem to take his eyes off of..  I promised him I wouldn't leave until he fell asleep.
     Earlier in the evening I had come home from the hospital like I had always done every day.  It was about 9pm and I was holding my daughter, Kennedy, when I got this sudden feeling that I needed to call the hospital and see how Todd was doing at that moment.  Todd's day had been up and down, but we had gotten kind of used to that.  I never called the hospital at night, I always waited until the morning to call and see how his night had been, but I felt the need to do so that night, so I did.  When I called they told me that his temp had gone up and his blood pressure had dropped a little, but that they had it under control.  I asked them to call me if it got any worse and they promised they would. 
      I then put the baby to bed and went to my computer, as I did nightly, to write my email that I sent every evening to update friends and family who were praying.  While writing my email I had the overwhelming feeling that I needed to go to the hospital and be with Todd.  I had no idea why, just that I knew I needed to go.  I went out into the living room and told my mother (who has been staying with me) that I needed to go to the hospital, but wasn't sure why and that I needed to go by myself.  She assured me that she would watch the baby and to go ahead and go.
     A few minutes after 10pm I arrived at the hospital and Todd was wide awake again and staring and looking around the ceiling.  I had my glasses on, which I never wear in front of people, because I had taken my contacts out.  When Todd saw me he became alarmed because he knew that at night was when I wore my glasses.  I told him that his blood pressure had dropped a little and his temp was up and I just said that it was my turn to take the night shift as not to alarm him.  I sat and held his hand for awhile and in his own way he communicated to me that he didn't want me to leave, so again, I promised him that I would stay until he fell asleep and then I would go into the waiting room and try to sleep myself.  When he fell asleep, I left for the waiting room and covered myself in my coat and watched the TV until I dozed off.
     A little after 1am the nurse came in and woke me and told me that they could no longer stabilize him and I needed to call the family.  She also asked if I wanted the Chaplain and I told her "no" as I knew I would need to get busy calling everyone.  Then I proceeded to call his mother, sisters, grandma and father and also called our church secretary to to get a hold of our pastor.  I told the family that they did not need to call anyone, that I would take care of it myself, and to just get to the hospital.  (Know that Todds' Dad was staying an hour or more away from the hospital.  Everyone else had to drive between 15-30 minutes).
     As everyone arrived one by one to the hospital, we came to the reality that in a short time we were going to lose Todd.  We stayed with Todd the entire time (Todd still being wide eyed).  We told Todd how much we loved him and that he was going to a much better place.  We told him he would be free of medication and he would be whole again. We told him not to be afraid and to relax....as he continued to watch the ceiling and look around. 
     Our church pastor arrived about the same time his Dad did, and we continued to assure Todd of our love for him, explaining that God loved him even more.  Pastor Wyatt then moved closer to Todd's face and asked him if he knew that we loved him, and he nodded largely. (Please note that up until this time Todd had not been strong enough to lift his head, let alone barely nod at all.)  Pastor also asked him if he knew that Jesus loved him, and again the big nod.  And finally he asked Todd if he was at peace with his Creator and again he gave one final nod.  Pastor then said, "Okay angels, come and take him."  Within a few minutes, Todd was gone.
     I now know that it was the Holy Spirit that was telling me to be at the hospital, because if I wasn't, the whole family would have not been called in time to be able to be with him when he died.  I also know that Todd had been seeing angels all day in his room.  There is no doubt in my mind, and I didn't realize that until the moment he died.  What he was staring at were the things that we can't see.  It was the most awesome and most difficult experience that I have ever been a part of. The love of my life was taken from me, but he went to be with our Creator.
     I had gone through periods of questioning why my husband would be taken so young, with a wife and young children left behind.  At the end of Todd's funeral I had a feeling come over me that took all those questions away.  I now understand that God uses all things for his glory, and I will explain.
Toward the end of Pastor Wyatt's sermon at the funeral he brought up the fact that Todd was in Heaven and that salvation was a free gift from God...free to all.  He asked if there were people in the audience who wanted to begin a new life with Jesus and accept the Lord into their hearts.  He prayed and asked those who wanted to become saved to pray this prayer, or something pretty close..." I believe that Jesus Christ is our Lord and Savior and died for my sins, and that salvation is a free gift.  I ask the Lord to come into my life and to change me and to make me whole again in Jesus Christ. If you believe this, you are saved."
     Toward the end, he asked everyone to close their eyes and bow their heads and he asked those who had prayed the prayer to themselves to raise their hands so that he could pray for them.  As hands went up Pastor acknowledged them without naming names...I knew there were many by the way he spoke.  At that very moment I had a tremendous peace come over me and I stopped questioning.  In Todd's death, others began and new life in Christ Jesus.
     I will miss Todd and the times are going to be very difficult, quiet, lonely and I will continue to grieve, but I want everyone to know that Todd's life was not in vain.  I will no longer ask "why".  God Bless Everyone Who Read This. Jen
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    Some how the night of Todd's death, I remember having my wits about me, yet I also had that numb feeling, where you think you are living someone elses' nightmare that you see on TV...but it was all real.  I remember being by his bedside knowing he was dying, holding his hand, praying over him and trying to comfort him all in the same.  Upon his death I also remember openly speaking out loud to God and thanking Him for my husbands life, for allowing us all to share in the joy of knowing him and being a part of his life...for the children he gave me, for the father, brother, son, and uncle he was in all of our lives.  A few days later I talked to a friend, who had talked to Pastor Wyatt about how I handled things during that time.  Pastor Wyatt apparently told them that God given me grace to be able to walk through that time.  I remember at one point being a bit overwhelmed and weak kneed during Todd's dying process and having to sit down and take a breath and Pastor Wyatt sitting down next to me, next to Todd's bed, and putting his arm around me.  Nobody said anything, but I just needed a moment.  I can't really explain what that "moment" was, other than to get refocused on not getting overwhelmed in my own grief, but being there for Todd as long as I could, as if trying to soak in every moment I had left with him. 

Isaiah 43:2  When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire,  you will not be burned;
the flames will not set you ablaze.

     I have been asked so many times in the last 10 years HOW I was able to get through that time in my life,  a time that left scars on so many levels.  One word : GOD.  My hope is and was in the Lord.  I think of the poem Footprints and how I KNOW that during that time, God was carrying me as I could not even begin to carry myself...it was all God - ALL OF IT.

Isaiah 41:10  So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;  I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

 I just had to have the faith of a mustard seed that He would carry me through.  There is not a day that goes by, even after 10 years that I do not think of Todd. Especially as I look into the eyes of my oldest daughter and her brother, as they both carry so many of his features.  One of the things that I have struggled with is that my oldest daughter never got the chance to know her father.  I believe that one day, however, that she too will get a chance to stand face to face with not only her Heavenly Father, but her biological father as well.
      I have since re-married, back in July of 2005 to an amazing man who has a heart for the Lord.   Unfortunately, the assumption of many, is that the love you once felt for the spouse that has passed away is gone when you fall in love and marry another, which far from the truth.  I remember writing in an earlier post titled "Happy Birthday" about emotions I felt during this time of struggling with dating again after the death of Todd.   The truth in dealing with such an ordeal, is that God somehow makes your heart big enough to love both.  Its truly something ONLY God is able to do, and only something that I feel is fully comprehended by someone who has walked this valley.  I praise God for all He has brought us through.  I am thankful that Todd is not dealing with sickness anymore and actually consider this 10 year anniversary of his death, in terms of a celebration of his life in Heaven.  Even though I miss him horribly, to wish him back would be selfish on my part.  So instead I wish him a Happy 10th Heavenly Birthday.  I am certain he is celebrating in a way that not one of us could imagine. :)

No Detail Too Small

          There is no question in my mind that God cares about the smallest of details in our lives.  I have seen His love in this area time and time again.
     Yesterday while driving home from work, I was informed by my husband that our dog had gone missing from my in-laws house.  They keep he, and my youngest daughter at their house while we are gone to work.  They had let him out to do his business, and for some reason he bolted to the woods.  We are guessing he spotted an animal that caught his interest, and chased it until he could no longer, then found himself  lost. Our pup Riley is an indoor dog and is really only outside if we are out there with him, or to do his business, so his disappearance had us really concerned.  He is also a very needy dog and emotional as far as him being away from his family.  When my husband goes out of town, Riley is a wreck because he misses his "Daddy" and often makes himself sick over his absence emotionally.  I know he is a dog, and if you are not a lover of dogs, this may seem ridiculous to you, but Riley is like one of my babies.  By the time I found out he was missing, he had already been gone 2 1/2 hours with no clue as to his whereabouts.  I had a peace about finding him, yet I was really concerned for his reaction to the whole thing KNOWING how scared he would be once he realized he was lost.  Right then I charged angels around him in Jesus Name and prayed over him reminding God and myself of His word in :
Phil. 4:6-8
"do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God, And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.   Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

  I also called a few friends and asked them to be in agreement to his return and safety in Jesus Name.
   My request to God was that he would quickly find his way home, or for someone who would take care of him and do the right thing with his return.
    I then felt led to stop at the Humane Society/ Animal Control and file a report.  The lady that took my report could tell how concerned I was about his well being and how scared he would be.  After we got down all the details I headed to my in-laws to help in the search for him.  I began walking, and probably covered 5 miles of walking through corn fields, woods, and neighborhoods calling his name.  I again reminded God that He says that He cares for all of the details of our lives. 

Matthew 10:29-31

²⁹ Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care.^{[a] 30} And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. ³¹ So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.

The Bible teaches that every person's life is important and significant in the eyes of God. Even the small details of life, in the eyes of God, are important. Jesus said that the hairs of your head are numbered. Jesus said that God cares for the sparrow, and then He added that you are of much more value than many sparrows.

Even the things that happen to us which God does NOT intend, things like disease, and frustration, bereavement and sadness, are being woven into a plan. Even small details and vast disasters finally carry out His purposes, just as Paul said to the Romans: "We know that all things work together for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose." (Romans 8:28)

     After walking for 5 hours, torn clothes, muddy, wet, cold, and exhausted physically, it was getting dark and I was ready to give up as far as being outside because I didn't want to find myself lost in the woods in the dark as well.  I said to God one more time "Please Lord, bring him home soon".  I headed into the garage and my cell phone rang.  The woman on the other end introduced herself as the woman from the Humane Society who had taken down my report.  At that point she had my full attention.  She then informed me that what she was doing was going completely against their policy but she was so moved by my visit, and the information she had that she could not help herself from calling me....it was even after hours.  She said she had just received  a call from a man not far from where Riley disappeared who had a dog in his back yard who fit the description of our dog that I had given them earlier at the shelter.  She also reminded me that what she was also about to do also went against policy but she had been given permission by the caller to be able to give us their phone number to see if it was the right dog and possibly go and pick him up.  My heart was racing.  I thanked her and hung up.  I then called the man and gave him the description of our dog and he gave directions to his home.  He said that he could not get a look at the dogs tags because the dog was so afraid, that he was cowering in the corner of their fenced in yard and hiding behind the shed.  Because he was so scared they were uncertain of what his reaction would be if they tried to get close to get a look at his tags - the whole reason they called the shelter.
   When my husband and I arrived to this home, the man took us to the back and opened his gate.  He explained that he had gotten home from work a half hour before and his dog was barking like crazy at the back yard, so we went out to see why, and found this dog.  He said that he has no idea how the dog got into his back yard since his fence was a 5 foot privacy fence with no holes or gaps to squeeze into.    When we walked into the back yard, he explained that the dog in question was behind the wood shed and wood pile as he was too afraid to come out.  My husband called "Riley" and all of a sudden his head popped up from behind the wood pile, like a rabbit out of a hole with his ears at full attention...but he didn't move.  It was almost like he thought he was hearing things and asking himself  "am I hallucinating?"  Then I also called his name as my husband walked closer and Riley was then able to recognize that it really was us - HIS FAMILY.  He then came flying out like a race horse, yelping, yipping, dancing and prancing he was so excited to see us.  The man whose house we were at said, "well there is no question that he is YOUR dog".  At that point I began to cry and looked at the man and thanked him and told him that he had no idea how much it meant to us that he had called and allowed us to contact him.  I think Tim and I thanked him a dozen times each.  He said, "I have a dog that I love too, so I understand".  He said, I just can't figure out how he got in my back fenced in yard because the fence is so high.
   I can tell you that I KNOW how Riley got there and in that yard.  Those angels that were charged around him and on assignment picked our boy up and placed him there and told him to STAY.   They had protected him on his near 2 mile journey through the woods, cornfields  busy streets, and neighborhoods, just as we had charged them to do in Jesus Name.   Riley "cried/ whined" all the way home, and we just assured him that it would be okay.  I don't think he will be taking off again any time soon, and that adventure would be the first and last time.  
     As I was thinking about how physically tired I was from walking to look for Riley, resulting in torn clothes, mud, exhaustion, and tears,  I know I would have kept going if it hadn't gotten dark, because I was so desperate to find him.   It got me thinking about how God NEVER stops searching after us when we are lost and away from him.  It somehow reminded me of the Parable of the Lost Sheep:

Luke 15:3-7   He told them this parable.
"Which of you men, if you had one hundred sheep, and lost one of them, wouldn’t leave the ninety-nine in the wilderness, and go after the one that was lost, until he found it?  When he has found it, he carries it on his shoulders, rejoicing.  When he comes home, he calls together his friends and his neighbors, saying to them, ‘Rejoice with me, for I have found my sheep which was lost!’ I tell you that even so there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents, than over ninety-nine righteous people who need no repentance."

The parable begins with a straying sheep. A sheep apart from its shepherd is defenseless and in grave danger. Jesus views any person apart from Him as lost. How is he lost? His sins alienate him from the holy God, leaving him groping aimlessly in darkness. “So justice is far from us, and righteousness does not reach us. We look for light, but all is darkness; for brightness, but we walk in deep shadows” (Isaiah 59:9).

The shepherd in the story, however, didn’t despise his straying sheep. With a heart of compassion, Jesus also values each sinner the Father entrusts Him:

“And this is the will of Him who sent me, that I shall lose none of all that He has given me, but raise them up at the last day” (John 6:39). Jesus is intent upon rescuing the sinner not only because the Father gave them to Him but also because He loves them. His love led Him to sacrifice His life on the cross to take their punishment for sin.

     The parable of the lost sheep also illustrates Christ’s attitude toward the saved sinner. The parable gives no indication of the shepherd ever rebuking or chiding. Instead, he hoists the sheep upon his shoulders and takes it home. An adult sheep may weigh anywhere from 110 to 125 pounds; it would be no small effort to carry one over the shoulder. For joy over finding that which was lost, the shepherd bears the discomfort. Likewise, Jesus bore the weight of our sins upon the cross. As High Priest and Mediator, He continues to bear our cares and infirmities before the Father. “He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness. . . . For you were like sheep going astray, but now you have returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls” (1 Peter 2:24-25)

     Finally, the parable of the lost sheep offers an extraordinary glimpse of heavenly emotions. The shepherd calls his friends and neighbors together, saying, “Rejoice with me.” The rescue of the lost sheep was a cause for proclamation and celebration. Similarly, Heaven rejoices when a sinner repents and is restored to fellowship with God. This joy is cheerfulness; it is calm, considered delight. It is a deliberate emotion -- thoughtful and sustained. This is not a picture of raucous dancing and carousing but of lasting pleasure and heartfelt satisfaction. Why? A sinner has come home! Such news delights the heart of heaven.

Since the beginning, God has been the Good Shepherd who rescues His lost sheep. When Adam and Eve were hiding in shame because of their sin, He sought them out. Yes, He disciplined them. But He promised a Rescuer. Until Christ’s death for their sins, He forgave them by their faith and covered them with animal skins. God still reaches out for the lost to cover and recover them through the blood of Jesus Christ.

     I am so glad that my Riley pup is home and safe.  I have God to thank for sending His angels and putting them on assignment to protect him just like we had asked in the Name of Jesus.  God cares about every detail of our lives, and doesn't want any of us wandering lost and away from him.  He will walk through a lot more than muddy fields and woods filled with picker bushes with torn clothes to save you.......He already has, He died on the cross to save you.

A Way to Victory

  I received this in my email this morning from A New Thing Ministries (http://www.anewthingministries.com/), a message from Kim Potter.  It touched my heart, blessed me, and was exactly what I needed to hear today.  I thought you may need to hear it as well so I am sharing what she wrote:
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     " When I woke up this morning I was listening to a minister and he began to talk about praise.  I knew that God was giving me a key to walking out this victory.  You see, as I have shared, God has been showing me that He is here and His reward is with Him and He is beginning to bring some manifestations in our life.  I believe we are about to see things we have been praying for.  I also believe the enemy knows this and is doing all he can to discourage and get us off course and out of faith.  We can't let that happen AND we have the power to stop it.
            As I arrived at work I received an email with the word of prophesy from Marsha Burns, it said; In a vision I saw a valley begin to fill up with people.  At first I thought they were warriors, but then I saw that they were worshippers.  And, I heard some of them tuning their instruments.  And, I heard the Lord saying that He has called those who are in the Valley of Baca (the place of weeping) to worship their way to victory. 
            On Sunday I was in the place of weeping but God is saying WORSHIP IS THE WAY TO VICTORY!
            Psalm 84:6 says As they pass through the Valley of Baca, they make it a spring; the rain also covers it with pools.
            Do you remember our motivation on worship and rain?  If not, you can read it on the article link on our website.  God clearly showed me that worship produces rain, a rain that drenches our seeds and our harvest.  A rain that causes all things to come to a time of fruition - we are there friends, at that time of fruition but as I said, the enemy knows it too and will attempt to weary you and discourage you BUT you can run him off with praise and worship.
            The Bible says that praise STOPS the enemy in his tracks.  That is not the only by-product of praise.  The Bible says in 1 Samuel 16:23 that when David played the harp and worshipped God that Saul was refreshed.  In 2 Kings 3, Elisha needed a word from God and he called for the harp, as he began to play and worship, the word of the Lord came to him for instruction.
            Over and over again we see that during times of praise and worship God spoke, or God's hand moved or enemies were destroyed.  We serve the same God today.  Praise still destroys enemies.  Worship still brings God's presence and His spoken word.  Praise and worship still bring times of refreshing in the presence of the Lord.

 The enemy knows what is coming to you - he will do everything in his power to hinder it - but you can stop him in his tracks with praise and worship.  Do NOT allow him to steal your praise or your worship; it is even more powerful when it is a sacrifice of praise.  What I mean by that is, when you have the least desire to worship - if you worship then, it breaks through walls in a powerful way. When you feel under attack, worship and praise.  When it appears you are defeated, worship and praise.  When you feel exhausted, worship and praise...as you do...you will literally witness walls come down, refreshment come, enemies scatter and the thing you have been waiting on will manifest before your eyes"
Kim Potter
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Hearing Voices

Who is causing conflict in your season?  Relationships determined your future, they will either bring pain or peace.  Why are you giving people permission or authority in your life.  Who are you choosing to give a voice in your life to? 

     These are questions that I have had to ask myself on several occasions either to sort things out or as a reminder.  It is true in every ones life, that every voice, will either produce life or death in your life.  Life voices will encourage you into your next season. Death voices will hold you back and try to keep you from your next season.You must be able to distinguish counterfeit opportunities and wrong people .    Hearing Gods voice and seeking His will, by being in the Word of God and having constant interaction with Him will help you be able to seek His truth, versus just hearing others opinions.    We all know that everyone has an opinion right?  Be very careful of those who speak things into your life that don't go along with God's word.

 Philippians 4:8
     Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if any-thing is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
       God has placed desires in your heart, God given desires, and calling on your life.  Do not rely on mans word  as your main authority.  Whatever man has said to you, should only confirm what the Lord has already put in your heart.  If it doesn't, brush it off.  You have to seek HIM and His Word solely.
     I remember several years ago when the Lord called me to quit my job to be home with my kids and be more available to my family.  You want to talk about being in a time of having to stand in faith - WOW.  I remember going back and forth with looking at how much income I was giving up verses being able to be at home with my kids.  I was told I was nuts to even consider it. I was also struggling with the fact of having to completely rely on my husband financially.  I had become such a strong independent person in so many ways because of things I walked through in my life, that this was a giant step to force myself to give up "control" of that area in my life and casting out the fear..   The problem too, was that I knew that I knew that I knew that I knew exactly what the Lord was calling me to do - no question.  I had a choice to make and I knew there would be consequences either way.  I had so many people trying to talk me out of it, that it was crazy, but there was no doubt in my mind that the ONE who was calling me, was the only ONE whose voice should matter.  When you are in a difficult position like that...to be tested, to walking faith, it can be kinda scary...or really scary.  I knew, however, that God knew what was best for our family and for me.  He saw that I was burning the candle at both ends, something I was not ready to admit.  He saw how being on the go constantly effected my family...along with many other things.  I KNEW that the Lord was calling me to do this...so I could not bare to turn my back on God, because I knew that He knew EXACTLY  how he wanted to use me in this new season and what my future held, I just had to be willing to listen and follow.

 Jeremiah 29:11  For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 

   When we hear those voices of others who may mean well, but are speaking things into your life that don't jive with what the Lord is calling to you and don't go along with His word, don't receive them.  I always try to hear people out, to listen for wisdom as we are told to do in the Bible, but getting confirmation from the Lord is a must, as everyone will have an opinion.   

Proverbs 1:5
let the wise listen and add to their learning,
   and let the discerning get guidance—

Here are three questions to help you discern Godly counsel.
1.  Is the counsel consistent with Scripture?
Job 12:13  But true wisdom and power are with God; counsel and understanding are His. Psalm 37:30 The Godly offer good counsel, they know what is right from wrong.

2.  Is the counsel helpful?
 Proverbs 10:31-32 The Godly person gives wise advice, but the tongue that deceives will be cut off.  The Godly speak words that are helpful, but the wicked speak only what is corrupt.Proverbs 18:2  Fools have no interest in understanding; they only want to offer their own opinions.

 

3. Is the counsel spoken with grace and love?

Proverbs 27:9 The heartfelt counsel of a friend is as sweet as perfume and incense. Colossians 3:16 Let the words of Christ, in all their richness, live in your hearts and make you wise.

The bottom line is simple … we must seek the Lord in all things and all counsel should be grounded in His Word.

Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not lean on your own understanding.  Seek His will in all you do, and He will direct your paths.  2 Timothy 3:16 All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives.  It straightens us out and teaches us to do what is right

     I can tell you first hand that not everyone is going to agree with what the Lord is calling you to do.  Some in your life may jump on board and support you whole heartily, while others try to talk you out of such things.  I know that this can be hurtful and painful at times.  Keep your eye on the prize.  Continue to run the race that the Lord has set before you and rely on the direction of the Holy Spirit to guide you.

Hebrews 12:1

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us

After all, if its the Lord calling you...you are following His will, then no weapon formed against you shall prosper, no kingdom raised against you shall stand!!!  Also, if God is for you, then who can be against you.  Just keep on keeping on, listening only to Gods voice going where you are called.

Isaiah 54:17

No weapon formed against you shall prosper,
      And every tongue which rises against you in judgment
      You shall condemn.
      This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD,
      And their righteousness is from Me,”
      Says the LORD.

Romans 8:31

What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?

 

Going to Prison

     What is the first thing that runs through your mind if someone were to approach you, and ask you about going into a prison voluntarily??  Yes, I said VOLUNTARILY, to spend the day with convicts.
The first image in my head, of course, was what I have seen on television or movies: Shawshank Redemption, The Green Mile, Escape from Alcatraz.  The imagination can certainly run wild can't it??
Especially being a woman going into a mens' prison, it was easy for me to conjure up all kinds of thoughts in my head equalling to= "NO WAY HOSEA!!" 
     For four years I have been approached by a man from our church who is head of a prison ministry.  He has tried repeatedly to convince me to come and be involved along with my husband.  My husband Tim has been a part of this ministry for several years, going on average of 3 times per month, and has not been able to convince me to go and be a part of such an endeavor.  My attitude about this was "This is YOUR calling, not mine, so go right ahead...without me".
     In an earlier post I talked about being delivered, several years ago, from the spirit of fear and how, even though. I was delivered, it doesn't mean I never deal with fearful thoughts.  I still have to hold every thought captive, in an attempt to cast out the fearful ones, as not to get myself in the same boat I was in before. 
Year after year I have been presented with the opportunity of going to the prison, yet I was not able to get past the fear of what I had conjured up in my head. I didn't even want to entertain the idea. 
      Every year, the prison has a celebration for the prisoners and they are each given a tray of Christmas cookies, and can join in the Christmas celebration and service that is put on by various volunteers.  This year was no different.  My ever so faithful friend, Glen, approached me again, as he always does this time of year, and asked me to be a part, but this time, something was different.   I didn't say "yes" right away, but I didn't say "no" either.....I said, "I will get back to you".   I knew in my heart the Lord wanted me to go, but yet, I was still fighting with those thoughts in my head of everything that could go wrong.  Although the Christmas party celebration would be similar as in years past, it was different in the fact that I also had the opportunity to be a part of the worship team that went to do praise and worship music during the service for the prisoners.  Now if you know me personally, you know that singing, being part of the praise and worship team,  and pouring out my heart to God in song is a huge burning desire in my heart.  Its where the Lord has been calling me for years, to sing, to lead, to give everything I am to Him through voice.  There is not one ounce of me that could even begin to deny this call any longer, after I had turned my back on it for so many years.  Because of that burning desire,I admit, having the opportunity to be part of the team doing the praise and worship that I was "hooked".  There was no way, if I could help it, that I was going to miss a chance to let God use me in this way, even if it WAS at the prison.  Did my fear of being at the prison vanish? NO, but somehow being able to be a part of something I so deeply desired, was the spoon full of sugar I needed to swallow those thoughts of fear and flush them right out.  I now know that God used that "God given desire" in my heart as HIS "hook" to get me in that place that I had feared for so many years.  Somehow by Gods grace, I was able to let the guard down that fear had been holding up in my life, in this area.  By doing this I was able to look at God and freely say "Ok, here I am Lord, use me".
     As we arrived that day at the prison and prepared to go through security checks, I remember being nervous, and clinging to my husbands arm.    I remember him giving me the look to let me know it would be fine.     After the security screening when I left with my Worship Team "Brothers" to go and set up equipment, I remember feeling excited and glad that I was with them.  I knew God was going to do something that day....I could feel it in all of us.  After things were set up and we got rolling, I watched 200 prisoners file their way in, get their tray of cookies and have a seat in front of us for the first set.  It was evident to me, that even though some men may not have been overjoyed to be there, they were at least curious as to what they might see. Some of their attitudes were indifferent and some excited.  I remember thinking, in a bit of my nervousness as they stared on, -"ok Lord, its all you, I alone have nothin!" 
 Before I knew it, we had done two sets of about 4 hours total, for 400 men, along with watching the Holy Spirit move through the testimonies of friends Rob and Ron.  From my best recollection, 18 men were saved that day and the Holy Spirit was all over that room - thick!!  I still do not even have the words to explain what happened that day.  I can tell you that personally I went expecting to be used by the Holy Spirit, but I never expected to get majorly blessed in the process.  I can tell you that my life was changed, and my heart was changed in so many different ways.  I experienced love, compassion, healing in my own heart, a confidence of the Lord,  and thankfulness.  A thankfulness of my own, that I had NOT allowed the enemy to win my mind over with fear that kept me from coming in the past.  I watched God work in the lives of some of these men right there, just by seeing the expression change on their faces.  Barriers were over thrown, walls taken down,  forgiveness toward others and themselves. Lives were changed, there is no doubt, and words could not even begin to describe the experience that day.  Although we stood there in a prison, the chains fell off of many that day and many experienced a new sense of freedom, including me.
     This experience has changed my heart so much toward prison ministry that I have found myself wishing I could go with my husband when he goes during the week, along with me already committing to go again next Christmas season.  It just goes to show that God is able to do more that anything we could possibly imagine ever.  He is amazing!!

"Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably MORE than all we ask or imagine, according to HIS power that is at work within us; to HIM be glory....forever and ever! Amen." Eph. 3:20-21

Happy Birthday!!!!

     Its been nearly nine years ago that I met my husband Tim.  It definately was a time in my life where I was very weary and protective of my heart since I had just lost my husband Todd a year before.  I remember when we met I was very nervous as we got to know one another, not sure I was even ready to date again by the time he finally asked me out, but I stepped out in faith.  I remember God telling me all along that He promised "He would be faithful".
Looking back, I remember just a few months after my husband Todd had died and I had a friend mention to me about "getting out there and dating".  I remember how angry it made me, and how I took it out on God.  I remember yelling to God that "I would NEVER marry again!", let alone date.  I told Him that if He had other plans that He would have to change my heart because I wasnt gonna do it!  I then made, what I thought, an impossible list of qualities that I felt "Mr. Right" would have to possess.  I then slammed the journal shut as if to make my point clear to God.  It was then for the first time I heard Him say.."I promise that I will be faithful".
  Tim and I have been married now for 5 1/2 years.  It has not been a "cake walk" for either of us. It has and will continue to be a lot of hard work, like most great marriages take.  We have had our share of ups and downs, but Praise God, we keep walkin it out. :)   My sweet husband, who was 39 when he married for the first time, became not only a husband, but a father to Kennedy and also took on anything we both brought into the marriage, even though we were unaware.    We both had a lot of growing to do as individuals and together.  We have so far to go even yet, but through all we have walked I can see how beautiful my husband is, not to mention what a great Dad he is.   I love how I can look at him and see where he once was and where he is now. There is soooo much more I could say, but what I am getting at it that I am married to a pretty amazing guy.   I can see the amazing man of God he is, and is working to become, and where God is going to take him as he walks in obedience.  I am so blessed to have him in my life, words cannot even begin to express.  Oh, and the list I made and threw at God way back,.......every quality I asked for, I got - EVERY ONE!!    He would be the first to tell you he is not perfect, but he is perfect for me....and God WAS faithful....just as He promised.
So Happy Birthday Tim on January 16th!!  I know I dont tell you often enough, but I think you are pretty amazing, and I thank God for your leadership, your wisdom and your patience.   I love you!